Memories
by LividTears
Summary: Kenshin has a dark past, no doubt about it, and he wishes to forget it. And he does. But new arrivals and old enemies must force him to remember, as he learns to deal with himself and his past...
1. forget

Author's Note: well, to any new readers, this fic's all done! to any returning reviewers, the first couple of chapters have been revised, so i hope that you re-read!

Disclaimer: All original characters and story lines do not belong to me. however, any outside characters and the plot of THIS fic do belong to me.

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Memories

chap.1 - forget

_Suffocation. The heavy air hung in dying breaths as the humidity clung to skin, choking lungs. Black smoke filled the infernous setting, spewing from crumbling exhaust pipes that had once almost glamorously stood outside the fire-consumed fighting arena between the infamous Lord Shishio and wandering samurai Kenshin Himura. _

_But that battle was long but done, and the results were catastrophic as Kenshin felt reality cracking, ready to shatter and break, falling apart into the millions of pieces he felt he was. Beyond this reality, he felt darkness looming cravingly ahead, the easy way to the end. But so many awaited his promised return... _

He felt his eyes tear open as he left the reaslitic boundries of his dream. Cold sweat beaded his forehead as Kenshin felt blood soak through the bandages around his chest, allowing new blood to seeth through the opened wounds. The wounds given to him by Lord Makoto Shishio himself. It took the red-head a few painstaking seconds to realize that the world before him was blurred, and that the pain provoked a dizziating state of mind. The woman sleeping beside him stirred as she heard her husband had awoken.

"Kenshin...?" she mumbled sleepily, "What's wrong?" She slowly sat up as she rubbed the scattered sleep from her eyes, soon eying her husband worriedly.

"Just a bad dream, Miss Kaoru, no need to worry," Kenshin smiled happily, "Although, I do believe I will need a new set of bandages, that I do."

All of a sudden, Kaoru was wide awake and up, scrambling to the other end of the room as she retrieved a fresh roll of cloth for Kenshin's wounds, reprimanding sternly, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?!"

"I didn't want to wake you, Miss Kaoru."

"Stop thinking about me, and start thinking about yourself," Kaoru replied gruffly, pulling tightly on the cloth as she wound it, her frustration fueling her strength.

There were a few minutes of silence as Kaoru finished up, and declared triumphantly, "There! How's that?"

"It's fine, arigato."

"Oh, and Kenshin?"

"Hai?" Kenshin winced, prepared for another lecture and whiplashing.

"Aishiteru..." Kaoru whispered soothingly as she leaned over and gently kissed Kenshin's lips, "...itsumo."

Kenshin smiled softly as he lay back onto his futon, the quiet breeze whispering outside the dojo.

_Aishiteru..._

There were no other bad dreams that night.

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Morning light sparkled, and luminous patches of sunlight could be seen through the shadowed patches of trees. Cherry blossoms were in full bloom, their vibrant pink color beautiful, adding color to the perfect landscape.

On the gravel Kenshin crouched, hands moving up and down, fingers intertwined with the cloth, creating a steady beat as he dumped the clothes into the soap-sudded water. As he gazed thoughtlessly at his chore, a flash of fire lit his mind and the clashing of swords filled his ears. He dropped the damp kimono he was washing and placed his hands against his forehead. The battle again. Always it seemed to haunt him, as did many other battles and deaths he could not put aside, could not forget. His past was always upon him, eating on his every thoughts, consuming his head and throwing it into agony. Kenshin opened his eyes thought obscurely, _Would I be happier if I never was the Battousai? How would my life be now? _

Shaking his head furiously, he cast the thought away and continued to scrub at the laundry. Wishing everything wasn't how it was now... That's not how he should think, he should accept his past... But sometimes, accepting seemed impossible. Lots of things seemed impossible.

Kenshin's thoughts were interrupted by Sanoske's loud voice, "Yo! Kenshin! Kaoru says she needs more tofu! ....I don't know why you're still working, you should be resting. Hey, you want me to get the tofu?" As Sano got closer, Kenshin looked up, his violet eyes glimmering, "No, that's alright Sano, I'll get it." He smiled as he slowly got up.

"Don't worry about me Sano, it's just tofu."

Sano shrugged as Kenshin made his way to the gates of the dojo, but mumbled quietly, "But be careful anyways Kenshin."

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With each progressing footstep, Kenshin gradually made his way to the same store in which he bought tofu. The same exact place and route.

The bustling business of the market was evident, customers clammering from store to store, bargainers' voices heard loud over the din, so as to drown out their opponent's suggestion. All this was a sense of comfort to Kenshin, exceptionally glad that at least one thing would always remain the same.

He was just about to reach the usual, busily crawling tofu store when an exceptionally odd and recently new store caught the corner of his eye. Its miniscule size and obliviousness to the rest of the marketplace was of no concern to Kenshin as he was precariously drawn to it, and began to tread his way through the crowd, slowly walking closer and closer to the tent.

Heavy navy-black drapes hung on its sides, creating an eery silhouette and highlighting its inner contents, which contained nothing, save for a single young, petite girl with long, black hair that fell into her amber, glazed-over eyes. Her eyes caught the most attention, threads of dreary, smokey clouds whirling about within them, emanating a feeling of loss and emptiness; as was the feeling that came off of the rest of her self. Her self; an empty shell that sat upon a four-legged stool, set firmly and solidly in the dirt floor. Kenshin let his eyes wander to the girl's barefeet, which was ghastly ashen, as if soil refused to stick to her skin. He also found that her darkly black kimono was no sense of comfort, and it seemed to absorb the light that surrounded it, only reflecting the purest of shadows.

Her head slowly, creakily tilted upwards as Kenshin drew nearer, acknowledging Kenshin's precense with a blank stare.

"I've been waiting, Kenshin Himura," her ghost white mouth moved slowly as her lips contemplated each word and syllable that left its caverns.

Kenshin paused, and found himself frowning slightly as he replied, "You know my name?" He gazed at the girl's face as she made no attempt to answer, and he added curiously, "If you don't mind me asking, little one, what is this...store...for?" The red-head unintentionally skipped a beat as he pronounced the word "store," not even being positive that the insignificant tent was made for such a purpose.

The girl did not respond to Kenshin's question, but instead lowered her heavy-lidded eyelids as she smirked ever-so-slightly, "You have a dark past, Kenshin Himura."

Kenshin was astonished at the girl's knowing and change of subject, and soon overcame his look of surprised hesitation as he murmured softly, "I do not deny my past..."

Her smirk grew wider, "Yet you wish to forget it."

"I -" Kenshin couldn't understand why he paused. Of course he wanted to forget it all...every last one of the most wretched, despicable memories that bellowed within his mind, that yelled so loud that the aching never stopped. Had never stopped...and would never stop. An echoey throb that dwelled with him since the last dying days of the Bakumatsu. Of course he wanted to forget his past...but the thought could never be a reality, and because of this realistic fact, Kenshin drew the words steadily out from his mouth, "...I do not know if I wish to forget my past, but I have learned to accept it, and if I have not yet accepted it, I am learning to."

The girl's miniature face turned, facing one side of the tent's dark canvas, in a seeming contemplating, intentional way. "I see more than just an empty lie. I see death," she whispered eerily, "And blood. Taken by the sword of the man who is called the Battousai. A name given to him for his incredible, impregnable skill and god-like speed. A man who has the hands contaminated with the bloodbath of the revolution, a man who took countless, and more than likely, innocent lives. A tainted soul. It didn't matter, did it?" She spun her head, her blank eyes locking with Kenshin's violet ones.

Kenshin gazed at her with the utmost abashed and shocked expression that had ever come across his face. Hardly anybody had dared to speak on the matter of his past so bluntly, so harshly that made him want to turn around and run to a faraway place, never stopping once. No one had dared...none less than a child... "I -"

"I see your thoughts, Kenshin Himura. Everyday you live in dread, your past haunting you, stalking you like a tiger does its prey. Countless battles playing and replaying, with no way to stop it," the girl paused, and her void eyes seemed to glint as she spoke her next words, "But I can make all of it stop."

Kenshin overcame the strong want to distance himself as far away as he could from this girl, and instead strained a polite smile, "I'm sorry, but I don't think anybody can change what I've done. I can merely attempt to repent for my past, and never turn the blade of my Sakabato."

"All of it. Anything you wish to forget, it is gone." The girl paid no attention to Kenshin's last words, and completely ignored Kenshin's repliant expression as she continued, "I know you try to repent for your sins Himura, but deep down, you know you can never be ridden...you can never be _forgiven_ for what you have done. You can forget, and I can make it happen."

Before Kenshin would realize it, he began to consider the thoughts that had always been in his mind, but yet had never really been thought upon until now...when the actual chance seemed to be placed before him, and to merely forget, all he would have to do was accept...

"What of my friends? Would they forget as well?" Kenshin hardly had control over the words that escaped from his mouth, it seemed that another person had taken over his body, asking the questions, making his decisions for him.

"They would forget as well."

Kenshin stood in silence, weighing his options and chances, considering what there was to loose. The girl was right in many ways...in fact, she was right in most ways. Maybe this was the answer.

And as a third person looking in, he saw his bewildered eyes blink as his lips moved in a slow motion, forming the words that crept up from his throat, and he heard his own quiet voice say,

"I want to foget...everything in my past."

Kenshin's eyes grew wide, as if for the first time realizing what he had said, what his conclusion had become. But what could she do? What power did a child have?

As if in answer, the girl smirked, and abruptly, her eyes glowed. Glowed a ferocious golden yellow that shimmered and shone, blinding Kenshin as he lifted his hands to shield his eyes from the light. Her heavy, black hair had begun to rise, forming a halo that framed her petite head. Kenshin noticed that the hustling noise of the surrounding market's crowd had dimmed away, visible surroundings had ebbed into the darkness that now enveloped them. There were only two people that existed now: Kenshin and this little girl.

Kenshin could make out the girl's outline, and saw her illuminated figure still situated on the same wooden stool.

She sat with her head down, her golden eyes avert, with no intention, when her head suddenly jerked upwards, her eyes shining into Kenshin's, boring into his mind. Kenshin gasped at the immediate, surprising pain as he felt her search, dig through his memories. She was reading him like an open book, and he saw images flash in his unopened eyes, from his recent life in Tokyo working backwards...his battle with Shishio...life as a wandering rurouni...war...revolution...blood...Tomoe...assassinations...Hiko...gone.

_Gone. _

The pain doubled as he squinted at the girl; she was editing and rewriting scenes in his past...

_But this wasn't right..._

But those thoughts immediately left Kenshin's head as he felt the pain lessen. The little girl's eyes dimmed a bit as she began to finish, and in a certain resolution, whispered hauntedly, "Kenshin Himura...the Battousai no more..." Her hoarse voice trickled away, and Kenshin felt the pain pass as he slowly opened his eyes, feeling the darkness sink away, replaced with the regular hustle of the market. The tent was no longer there; instead stood an empty space.

_Why am I standing here?_ Kenshin thought obscurely, and it oddly took him a minute to figure out who he was. _What was I doing?_ He thought back and a sharp pain struck his head as he winced, _Oh yes, Miss Kaoru wants tofu._

_Kenshin Himura, the Battousai no more. _


	2. forgetting

A/N: Special shout out to Lady Battousai, FunkMasterGT, and S3XuAl- ArTfOrM!!!! hehe, thanx a tons guys.  
  
Disclaimer: naw, don't own them, don't make money off of it either, in fact, i'm dead broke.  
  
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chap. 2 ~ forgetting  
  
Kenshin made his way back to the Kamiya dojo, humming as he went. He felt...relieved of some heavy baggage that he had been carrying for so long, a burden he had held onto for all his life, and suddenly, it was...gone. The setting sun glowed a fierce orange, bright, and bathing him in fiery light. His footsteps made little imprints in the dirt, and he smiled as he approached home.  
"Kenshin!" Kaoru cried happily, walking up to her husband, "What took you so long? I was beginning to get worried." She pranced up to Kenshin and planted a soft kiss on his lips.  
Kenshin smiled and nodded, "Sorry Miss Kaoru. I got...." He struggled with his next words, why had he taken so long just to buy tofu? "I... must have been preoccupied..." Kenshin frowned in concentration, for he honestly did not remember what had gotten him side-tracked. It was as if there was an empty space in his memories, going suddenly from one image and skipping to another, without a smooth transition. He shook his head, and ignored his thoughts as he smiled at Kaoru.  
"Let's start dinner Miss Kaoru, yes?" Kenshin said.  
Kaoru nodded, and they made their way inside.  
  
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Birds chirpped in the trees, leaves sprinkled gently with morning dew which sparkled brightly in the bathing sunlight. The red-crusted earth welcomed each falling mildew, soaking it in, savoring each sweet drop of water. The bustle of everyday life in Japan continued, just like every other morning, unaware of anyone else's troubles but their own.  
On the front steps of the Kamiya Dojo, Kenshin Himura stood, swaying a broom this way and that, its bristles sweeping away the dust and dirt of previous days. He worked methodically, vaguely paying any attention to what he was doing. A young boy walked up to Kenshin, his shinai bumping against his leg as he approached the red-haired man.  
"Kenshin, I can't believe you're doing work, you should be RESTING," he said the last word slowly, highlighting his point by wagging his index finger around (and in a way, mocking Kaoru).  
Kenshin smiled brightly, "Daijobu desu, Yahiko. I feel fine now, and besides, I need exercise, that I do." At Yahiko's exasperated face he added, "Ie desu yo."  
"Then you won't mind cleaning out the shack out back. Kaoru was gonna have you do it, but she said she'd wait awhile 'til she'd have you do it," Yahiko grinned widely, "'Cuz she said those injuries you got from that bridge accident was pretty life-threatening..."  
"Aa, lucky for me the bridge just happened to collapse... And the rocks just had to be there...." Kenshin's face frowned as if trying to remember when he exactly DID fall from a bridge... And wouldn't he have been able to jump off in time...? He thought harder and a faint outline of the repressed "memory" came back to him, Kaoru was on the bridge and he had to get her off...and didn't have time for himself... His frowned turned upward as he tried to brighten the mood, "But tell Kaoru I'll clean out the 'shack.'"  
Yahiko bowed jokingly, but turned to face Kenshin before he left, "She still blames herself ya know..."  
Kenshin nodded in acknowledgement of Yahiko's words and set the broom lightly against the wooden wall.  
  
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Kenshin stood outside of the grimey shack, listening "intently" upon Kaoru's words. Miss one syllable, and she'd trounce upon him in a heartbeat. Kenshin bobbed his head up and down, confirming her words every once in awhile just to give her the idea that he was listening...  
"Kenshin, I don't want you to start all this work today, just go inside and get a feel for the enviroment," Kaoru gazed gingerly at her husband who only smiled brightly in return, "Hai, Miss Kaoru, I'll find out just how much work I'll have to do."  
He opened the door, and found it a problem when he had to squeeze himself through a small slit that barely passed for a door. The only thing preventing him from entering was his Sakabato, which seemed to be one thing too many.  
"Here, I'll hold your sword while you're inside," Kaoru held out her hand and Kenshin hesitantly handed her his sword.  
Kaoru felt the rough edges of the sword's hilt and brought it closer to her eyes to examine it. Why did Kenshin carry around a sword? Oh yes, for self-protection. And a sword with a reverse-blade so as he wouldn't kill anyone on accident. It seemed strange to Kaoru, for Kenshin to possess a sword during a time of peace, but she did not question her husband's reason.  
Kenshin slipped in and out of the moldy building, estimating it would take a day or two for him to clean out its interior, maybe even longer, seeing the condition it was in...  
  
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'Run, just keep running... Run... Doesn't matter where... Doesn't matter...' A young boy's thoughts seemed to scream at the world as he panted huskily, his breath coming in spasms. His face was wild with fear as he skidded across the dirt paths of some unknown city to him... Villagers gave him blank looks, questioning the blond gleam of his hair and his unusual bright aqua blue eyes, that were, at the moment, alert with tremendous fear. His pale face was deprived of nutrition, and streaked with dirt, as was every other part of his body, but he paid no heed to his condition, and kept running, running away from something... And perhaps he was running away from his past.  
  
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A/N: dunno bout u guys, but this chappie's a ton shorter than my usual length. Ahh well, I hope my intentions in this chapter weren't that obvious.... but yes, thanx for reading, and pleez review!  
  
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	3. forgotten

Disclaimer: Since I know no one reads the author's note, i'm skipping rite to the disclaimer. Simply put, I own nada.  
  
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chap. 3 ~ forgotten  
  
The sun was no friend today. Kenshin knew that for sure. Any regular passerby would regard the day as exceptionally warm, but Kenshin had been working for quite awhile, cleaning, dusting, and mopping the shack endlessly, and the scorching rays had caused beads of persperation to dot his forehead. He wiped his face with the back of his hand and stepped back a stride to note how much he had left to do, and if you want to have optimism, how much he had finished. (Is the glass half empty or half full?)  
Kenshin decided he had done enough to earn himself a break, so he granted himself one and stepped into the shadows of a tree in the nearby forest. A smile crept onto his face as he thought of the last few days. He felt strangely happy, fulfilled in some way. There had been hardly anything to worry about, and daily life had taken a steady beat, repeating itself but never really similar enough to be boring. It was satisfying.  
He leaned against the wooden trunk of the tree, and thoughtlessly gazed at the dense forest beyond the dojo, enjoying the serenity of the moment. Time passed slowly, and as Kenshin stepped forward to return to his work, he thought he heard the faint thud of footsteps, gradually making its way towards him. And as he listened more closely, he knew the footsteps were of a child, for they were light and frequent, barely making imprints in the loose dirt.  
Kenshin also knew the child was alone, and decided to find out what child would be running in the woods...alone. Kenshin stepped away from the cool shade in order to gain a better view. He waited a bit, and soon the shadowy outline of the child formed. Kenshin's face formed into a questioning gaze as he saw the blonde color of his hair and the azul blue shimmer of his eyes. The boy's eyes took Kenshin's attention, for in them, pools of fear, anxiety, and determination swum around, mingling with the shadows and gleaming patches of sunlight of the forest. Every other stride, the boy would spin his head, nervously glancing behind him, as if running away from someone...or something. There was a limp to his run and didn't seem to see Kenshin as he stumbled on a jutting root, straight into Kenshin's outstretched arms. Kenshin caught the boy in one swift motion, attempting to calm the shocked boy. The boy's eyes grew wide in fear as he squirmed, trying to struggle his way out of some strange man's grasp.  
Kenshin gazed down at the ghostly white face of the boy, "Shhhh...it's okay..." His words proved to no avail as the boy continued to pout and whine, not wanting to be held back, he had to get away...he had to keep moving...but it was very tempting to stop for the night. The boy's breathing was heavy and in huffs, he was so tired...so...exhausted...  
He stopped squirming for a moment and lifted his head, facing Kenshin. His eyes darted back and forth frantically in its sockets, as if searching for something, as if judging Kenshin, trying to decide if he should trust this man or not.  
The boy's exhaustion won him over and his hoarse whisper barely reached Kenshin's ears, "Don't....don't let them....get...me......" And with that, his body went limp as his eyes closed, lashes brimmed with unshed tears.  
Kenshin had no idea who the boy was talking about, but he smoothed the boy's dirt-streaked hair, whispering soothingly in reply, "I won't. I promise I won't let them get you."  
He exhaled tiredly, and shuffled back to the dojo, the child in his arms.  
  
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Kenshin looked down at the face of the young boy. His face, legs, and arms were covered in soil, and his barefeet were sore and splintered. He whimpered quietly and started to struggle, but Kenshin only shook his head and tightened his grip.  
Keshin shifted his weight to his left foot, feet making vague thumps against the wooden surface of the dojo's entrance, carefully balancing the boy's body against his own, so as his right hand would be free. The fusuma slid noisily as Kenshin pushed it, and Kenshin, expecting only Kaoru, Sanoske, or Yahiko, spotted Megumi and Kaoru. How convenient. He must have not heard her enter.  
Both women gave Kenshin a second glance before noticing the boy in his arms. Megumi scrambled to her feet, so as she could examine the boy's condition, "Kenshin! This boy is in a terrible state! Don't just stand there! Boil some water! Kaoru, set up a futon with extra blankets, hurry!"  
Kenshin and Kaoru exchanged amused glances as they set out to do as Megumi instructed. Megumi-san always went into full-fledged doctor mode if you put someone injured in front of her. Although the boy did seem to be in bad condition...  
After more yelling, more scrambling, and more tested tempers, Megumi had the boy exactly how she wanted him, lying comfortably on his back, with blankets piled high atop him. The tension gradually dimmed, and Kaoru asked in a quavering voice, "Is he going to be alright?"  
Megumi sat straight, hands on her knees as she tiredly sighed. "He'll be alright after a good meal, and a good place to stay." Kaoru was not one to be oblivious to a hint. Kaoru nodded understandingly and hovered closer to the boy, as did Kenshin. Megumi's mouth slowly formed a fine line, obviously irrated with the company she had to work with while dealing with a patient. "Kaoru, Kenshin?" Both turned to face her in unison. "I need to do a couple more checks, so if you don't mind..."  
Kenshin smiled nervously and grabbed Kaoru's hand as they made their way out of the room. The afternoon had slowly ebbed away without Kenshin knowing, and he thought it would be nice to stop the hustle and bustle and watch the sun set in the sky.  
He sat down slowly, and looked up expectantly at Kaoru, who had a faraway look to her eyes as she snapped back to reality and smiled warmly as she sat beside her husband. Leaning her head against his shoulder he took her hand, interlocking their fingers together. The sun melted into the multicolored sky, colors dancing in wide circles, surrounding the world with its beauty. Each color molded perfectly with the next, clashing and crashing together.  
"Kenshin..."  
"Hmmm...?"  
"I...I have to tell you something..." The tone of Kaoru's voice had Kenshin alert, and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he slowly turned his head to face Kaoru's.  
"What's wrong?"  
"Nothing's wrong...but..."  
Kenshin tilted his head slightly, "Nan dai...?"  
"Kenshin...I'm....I'm going to be a mother....and you're going to be a father.....oh my god Kenshin, you'll be a wonderful father....Kenshin...I'm pregnant." Kaoru's eyes met Kenshin's and he sat in shock for a second before her statement sunk in. When it did sink in, Kenshin lept to his feet, dragging Kaoru with him. So that was why Miss Megumi was at the dojo today. How had he not noticed? Kaoru had been getting up lately with throbbing headaches and weird eating habits...but that didn't matter now. His arms encircled Kaoru as he held her close, savoring the moment and the beauty of life. Tears of happiness welled up in his eyes and spilled over, pearly drops streaming gently down his cheeks. Kaoru smiled happily in Kenshin's arms, she could not remember Kenshin ever being this happy.  
They pulled away from the embrace, and Kenshin gently kissed Kaoru's lips, the sun barely a hairline in the glowing horizon.  
But as fate intends, there is always the calm breath before the storm.  
  
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A/N: Nice twist huh? hehe... ^.^  
  
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	4. candlelight in the dark

A/N: hiya! it's me again! well, I dunno where I came up w/ the name of the chapter for this one, it's kinda random....but hey, i'm a random person! ^- ^  
  
To Lady Battousai: You know what? Your review ABSOLUTELY made my day when I read it! Don't worry, no offense taken. I'm so glad to know that i've got a reader out there who supports me just about as much as I support myself. So, of course you can advertise my fic!!! Wow, I feel so honored that you even asked! But, I think it was real nice and considerate of you to do so!! Much luv mah friend!! ^.~ I'd really luv to talk to you some more, so can u e-mail me sometime?? if you're too lazy (i'm not dissing you, cuz i'm the biggest lazyass in the world!) to look up my e-mail, it's Chrryblssm518@comcast.net! Thanx a ton!! ^________^  
  
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chap. 4 ~ candlelight in the dark  
  
The tiny flame flickered against the soft breeze, fueled by a soft wool thread, where gentle pools of hot wax had gathered atop a colorless candle. The candle was the only source of light in the room, swaying dreamily in the still room. A thin index finger and thumb stealthily pressed the fire in its grasp, exquisitely extinguising the light. Smoke curled upward, slowly diminishing as it made its way upwards.  
Megumi pulled her hand away from the candle, glancing at her hand, noting the barely visible ash marks on her thumb. She reached for a damp cloth to wipe away the grime, keeping her eyes on the young child before her. A wet surface touched her fingers as she toyed with the rag, making sure she had every bit off, ignoring the fact that the ash marks were hardly worth all this attention.  
She placed the rag down, and instead reached for a sopping towel in a bowl filled with lukewarm water. Wringing out all the excess water, she folded it in one liquid motion, daintily placing the towel on the boy's forehead. He flinched at the touch of the towel, and his eyelids fluttered upward, and before Megumi could stop him, he abruptly sat up. This time, his eyes were wide open, swiveling madly, taking in his surroundings, and breathing deeply.  
"Where's am I?" His voice was strained, his tone demanding an answer.  
Megumi massaged her forehead, apparently not in the mood to be patient. "Tokyo. Kamiya Dojo. You are not in good condition, so you are under my care, and while you are under my care, you will lay down." With her last words she used both her hands to position the boy on his back.  
The fusuma opened, and a silohetted shadow filled the room. "Not so great with kids now, are we?"  
Megumi's face showed irritation, as well as her reply, "I don't have time for your insults Sanosuke. If you want to help, then get me some food, water, and more blankets."  
Sano sighed, but had to smile when he saw the child was giving Megumi a hard time, stubbornly trying to stand up and run again. Sano smirked and commented, "Alright Fox, I'll get you your supplies, just make sure the kid doesn't run away before I return." He turned and walked out into the moonless night.  
Megumi clenched her teeth, trying to inhibit the frustration that was increasing with every annoying question the boy asked. "Well, where's am I? And who's you? This's Tokyo? Pretty pitiful. 'Ave you been to the states? I 'ave. Much better than this rubbish."  
Megumi found it easier to ignore the brat, as long as he stayed in the room a little longer, so as Sano would return with food. Just keep his mouth busy that's all. Megumi's mind trailed away from the boy and suddenly seemed to turn to Sanosuke. Just his name sent shivers up her spine and goosebumps forming on her arms, tingling with anxiousness...  
"Yo! Fox! You listening to me? I've got your damn stuff. Although I do have to warn you, Kaoru cooked the food, so the kid might die from the crap..." Sano's voice penetrated her thoughts, and she turned to face Sano. She nodded as she took the tray of food from him.  
"Yeah, your welcome Fox."  
'Thank you Sano... Thank you...'  
"Is that food?"  
"No kid, it's the world on a silver platter," Sano's sarcastic remark made the boy's eyebrows quirk upward questioningly.  
"Really?"  
Megumi laughed quietly, trying to repress her laughter with her hand. Sano felt the hairs on the back of his head rise at the sound of her laughter...  
Megumi placed the tray on the floor, gesturing the boy to eat. The boy gave both Sano and Megumi one last look before clumsily picking up the chopsticks.  
"'Ow do I use these?"  
Sano slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand as the boy put one stick in each hand and attempted to balance bits of food between them.  
  
"Stupid gaijin," Sano commented to no one in particular.  
Megumi only shook her head as she tried to explain how to use chopsticks as paciently as she could...  
  
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When the food was no longer warm, but stone cold, the boy had pretty much gotten used to chopsticks, although he was still hesitant with them. He started stuffing his face, rice flying everywhere as he swallowed the food at top speed.  
"Where's Kenshin and Kaoru?" Sano asked curiously.  
"Busy." was her only reply.  
Sano waited a second before asking his next question, "and Yahiko?"  
"The Akabeko."  
"Oh."  
"..."  
"Guess it's just me and you Fox."  
"..."  
"'Ey!"  
"And the kid."  
"..."  
"So kid, what's your name? All this time, and we still don't know your name," it was more of a demand than a question.  
"Wolf Yukishiro."  
'Yukishiro...that sounds familiar...' Sano thought obscurely, then added, "Wolf, eh? You really are a gaijin."  
"A wha'?"  
"Nothing."  
The boy's face scrunched into an annoyed expression, not wanting to be "out" on the conversation, but he finished his food with no other comments. Silence hung uncomfortably in the room as Megumi and Sano pointlessly watch the boy lick rice off his lips. The gentle whoosh of the breeze outside the dojo flowed through the cracks on the walls, and Megumi slowly stood up, gathering her supplies, making her way out of the room.  
"And where are you going Fox?"  
"Back to my clinic. I've got patients there too," her voice reflected sadness, depression, something was weighing her down, but she could not place exactly why she felt this way.  
Megumi had left, and Sano stared at the fusuma, looking until Megumi's shadow dimmed away into the night. He sighed and turned to face the boy.  
  
"Alright kid, it's way past your bedtime, and I bet you're tired as hell." Oops, he really shouldn't be swearing in front of kids.  
Wolf stretched his arms into the air and yawned sleepily, "Naw...I's not that...tired..."  
"Uh huh, sure kid, lay down. I'll stay here until you sleep."  
His blonde head bobbed up and down as he layed quietly onto his back, pulling the blankets over him. Sano crossed his arms over his chest, leaning his back against the wall, watching and waiting for the kid to fall asleep.  
After awhile, the steady rise and fall of his chest and his deep breathing told Sano that he was asleep, and he stood up, gazing at the endless amount of stars in the sky.  
  
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A/N: All I can say is, thanx for reading this far, and I hope you can take time out to review me! please? i'd realli like to know how i'm doing! ^.^ thanx!  
  
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	5. mixed blood

A/N: I don't even know where to begin!! AHAHA, I don't know if I'm even allowed to do this, but i'm doing it anyways. (ff.net banned author's notes to individual reviewers, but i'm not one to follow the rules...I tink they did...I don't know anymore, they've got a list of rules somewhere...)  
  
To Lady Battousai: Thanx so much for stickin' with me!! I think your advertising worked, cuz I'm the happiest person in the world rite now!! it's okay that u can't e-mail me, just e-mail me when u get ur e-mail fixed! i'll be waiting! ^.~  
  
To Kanzen ne Tsuki: hehe, I'm still speechless! i'm so honored to be even considered for ur webpage! thanx so much!  
  
To Cowgirl4Ever: Ahahaha, since u didn't leave ur e-mail u get a personal THANK YOU from me rite here!! THANX~  
  
To Forbidden Dreams: thank you so much for reviewing!! Lol, I write a little bit of poetry, but only when I'm in the mood, I get writer's block a lot!  
  
To Invader Zimo: Last, but certainly not the least! Thanx so much for advertising my fic!! HEHEHE, I am truly honored. again, thanx! ^.^  
  
Alrite, this doesn't mean i'm going to get cocky, i'm gonna keep on going, but this time, keeping in mind that i've got actual readers!! ^.^ ahahahaha, sry, i'm kinda giddy at the moment. So, thanx to those who reviewed, and I hope you like what's to come! ^.~  
  
Disclaimer: Oops, I almost forgot this, I also forgot it in the last chapter too, so, ummm, I don't own any of Rurouni Kenshin, k? I just write fanfiction!  
  
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chap. 5 ~ mixed blood  
  
Sunlight streamed into a room, illuminating every board layed onto the floor, shadowing every speck of dust wandering the air or lightly surfacing the walls. The warmth of the star's rays reached the face of a child, delicate porcelein skin tingling under the gentle heat. Agua blue eyes quivered, slowly unfolding, fingers drowsily wiping away the sleep. He unconsciously leaned against his elbows, propping himself upright, gradually accustoming himself to the idea of sitting up. He shook his head, messy hair flying everywhere with every turn. Yawning, he peeled off the covers, only to gasp in surprise at the coldness of the air, reflexively pulling the blankets up to his neck, shivering slightly.  
Light footsteps could be heard outside of the room, and Wolf could see a hand reach out to pull the door open. A red-haired man stepped in, smiling brightly, his voice cheerful, "Ohayo."  
"Wha'?" Wolf was getting sick of not understanding half the words these people said to him...  
"Oh, I'm sorry, ohayo means good morning," Kenshin explained paciently.  
Wolf's lips formed into a straight line, suddenly remembering that he could not stay in one place for long, and he stood up quickly. Kenshin only chuckled and shook his head in slight amusement as he put both his hands on the boy's shoulders to stop him from leaving.  
"Now, now, don't be in such a rush. You're not in good shape, and I'm sure Megumi-san would be furious if you left in the condition you're in," Kenshin said enlighteningly, "Soooo...," Kenshin pulled the boy back to the futon, "You're going to have a decent meal and a warm bath."  
Wolf pouted internally, but gave in to Kenshin's kindness. 'I's should get going... They's could be here any minute now...'  
Kaoru appeared at the doorway, arms loaded with clothing. She made her way to Wolf and Kenshin, looking slightly disoriented.  
"Are you alright Miss Kaoru?" Kenshin asked, concerned.  
"Oh, hehe, I'll be okay Kenshin, here, I've got some comfortable clothes for...Wolf, right? Yes, well, I hope they're a lot more comfortable than the rags you're wearing now. Yes, your welcome, now I'm going to go throw up now, I'll be back..." Kaoru finished on a downbeat as she retreated hastily, the pain doubling in her abdomen.  
Wolf stared down at the garments Kaoru had thrown in his face and looked up at Kenshin questioningly. Kenshin sighed half-heartedly, saying, "Go on, put those on, I'll leave you for a minute so you can get dressed, I need to see if Miss Kaoru is alright, but I'll be right back." He laughed apologetically and walked hurridly out of the room, pulling the fusuma shut.  
Wolf picked through the clothes and an idea popped into his mind as he placed the garments onto the ground, slipping quietly from the room.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The air outside was still as Wolf's silent steps echoed painfully loud in the dirt path. He exhaled slowly, not wanting to be heard, wanting to gradually ebb away from his surroundings. 'Them peoples were awfully nice...' he thought, gingerly slowing his pace as he looked back at the dojo behind him. He scrunched his face into a wistful expression as he remembered his objective, and quickened his stride into a steady run, making his way towards the front of the Kamiya Dojo, hopefully he could make his getaway without anyone noticing...and hopefully they wouldn't worry either.  
His limp run wasn't as fast as he would have hoped, but it would have to suffice. The gate rustily creaked open, and Wolf slipped through the small gap, carefully closing it behind him. He turned to continue his run, when a low voice rumbled, "Off to somewhere kid?"  
Wolf gasped and turned to see the same man from the night before, "Umm..."  
"We're offering you some pretty damn good hospitality and you're running away from it? Not a very grateful kid, are you?" Sanosuke mused, back against the iron stakes of the gate.  
Wolf smiled nervously, not knowing what to say in reply. However, he didn't need to answer Sano's question, for Sano continued his curt speech, "Naw, forget about it. Next time Kenshin brings a stray kid in, I'll have to check if the kid's grateful enough to accept the hospitality being handed to him."  
Wolf looked at his barefeet, biting his lower lip, trying to ease the guilt tearing at his gut.  
Sano's stern face softened at Wolf's fidgeting, he was obviously ashamed at being caught sneaking out of the dojo. "...But...you've undoubtly got somewhere important to go...if you had stayed......you would have been in good hands...you would have been safe...the choice is yours though..." With those words, he turned his back, the "bad" symbol flapping in the breeze.  
At that, Wolf's breath caught, and he discovered he had new-found respect for Sano.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
After Kenshin had put a dizzy Kaoru into bed, he walked up the steps to Wolf's room. He entered, and saw Wolf dressed in the clothes Kaoru had given him, which were several sizes too big. In the corner, he found Sano, sitting loosely, chewing lightly on a fish bone in his mouth. The atmosphere in the room told Kenshin that apparently something had gone on between Wolf and Sano, and he found it better not to ask.  
"I see the clothes Miss Kaoru gave you are a bit big. They were Yahiko's, that they were, and Yahiko is quite big compared to you," Kenshin remarked.  
"HEY! Are you calling me FAT?!" Yahiko appeared out of nowhere, smoke curling out of his ears.  
"Erm...no...of course not, Yahiko!" Kenshin explained hurridly, "I was merely..."  
Yahiko snorted and waved his right hand, dismissing Kenshin's attempted explanation and turning to Wolf, "So, where did you say you were from, boy?"  
Wolf was offended at being called a boy, especially by one that was hardly a couple of years older than him, and he snorted indignantly, "I'd hardly call you a boy too."  
"Just answer the question!" Yahiko shouted impatiently.  
"I's from the states."  
"Where?!"  
"America," Kenshin stated knowingly.  
Sanosuke muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, "Gaijin."  
  
Kenshin only shook his head at Sano's rudeness and laughed cheerfully, "Well, I guess we haven't properly introduced ourselves to you quite well...I'm Kenshin Himura. That is Yahiko," he pointed Yahiko, who was busy picking at his ear, "And I'm sure you know Sano."  
Wolf bobbed his head at each introduction, then paused, as he realized that now was a good time for him to respond, "My name is Wolf Yukishiro."  
"Tell us more about yourself," Kenshin requested politely.  
Wolf furrowed his eyebrows in deep concentration, wanting to get his words right before he said them,"My father is American, and my mother was Japanese..."  
"Was?" Yahiko interjected suddenly. Sano scowled at Yahiko's bluntness.  
"She died right after I's born..."  
There was uncomfortable silence in the room following the statement, each member of the room knowing fully well what it was like to loose a loved one. Kenshin muttered quietly, "I'm sorry to hear that."  
Wolf shrugged and added, "I's didn't know her tha' well anyways, I's eight now, an' I's been gettin' 'long fine."  
Kenshin gave Wolf a perplexed look, wanting to know more about a foreigner in Japan, there weren't many mixed blood in Japanese lands, "And if you don't mind me asking, how have you been 'getting' along?"  
Wolf's face drooped at the question, not wishing to tell complete strangers everything about him, even if they did give him food, a roof, and....  
"KEN-SAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Loud cheering interrupted the quiet morning, and Kenshin turned around to be greeted by two charging girls.  
Both Suzume and Ayame glomped Kenshin head-on, with a furious force, sending Kenshin tumbling to the ground. "Oro...." His eyes swirled round and round at the impact.  
"Ken-sama, Kaoru-sama said that the bath is ready for Wolf-chan!!!" Suzume sang happily.  
"Yea, and she said - "  
"- to hurry up -"  
"-'cuz the water's getting -"  
"COLD!!!" Both girls finished eachother's sentences with amazing speed and precision that everyone in the room smiled at Suzume and Ayame's animated faces, pulling Wolf out of the room, holding each of his hands in theirs.  
The paper door slammed shut, so hard that it slid out of its path, falling flat to the ground with a loud "thump." Sano, Yahiko, and Kenshin stared astounded at the fallen paper door. Yahiko suddenly burst into fits of laughter, "Kenshin," it was hard for him to talk through the supressed giggles,"I think you're gonna have to make another paper door!"  
  
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A/N: Well, that was an abrupt ending, but I didn't know when to make a reasonable story break. Sry the main plot is coming in so late, but i'm still organizing it and planning it through. And besides, I plan to work through this fic all the way 'til the baby comes!! ^.^ Everyone wants to see that! (ahaha, I know I do...)  
  
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	6. raisins

A/N: yo. it's been quite awhile since i've updated (at least, through my eyes). but that's mostly due to my recent trips to the mall, spring break, easter, and then of course my internet just HAD to break down. o.O but yea, i'm back, and so, as a gift for having to wait for so long, i'll update my last TWO chapters, so if you don't see the next chapter here at the moment, please come back later to check it out.  
  
Nextly, I would like to comment that people have been hinting to get a move on and get on with the main plot. well, okay, I'll get there, just be pacient, it'll come! (as you will find out...hehehe...)  
  
Am I on my third point here? Whatever, i'll keep going. A special thanx and shout-out to: Pinto Beans (I luv that name, it's got a ring to it...pinto beans, pinto beans, pinto beans, I could say it all day), Kanzen ne Tsuki (hehe, thanx again), LYKAchan (don't worry, I bet i'm a bigger lazyass than you, tehe), Lady Battousai (I can never thank you enough), Unknown (luving the name), ILoveLegolas (AHA, I love legolas too!!!), and Mrs. Orlando Bloom (AHA, I love Orlando Bloom too!).  
  
And fourthly...............I've got nothing to say, I just think it's fun to say all these points and watch the number go up. But FROM NEXT CHAPTER ON, IT'LL BE IMPORTANT TO READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTES. Especially if I'm answering questions, concerns, etc.... So I guess there is a point to this point. (no pun intended)  
  
Disclaimer: At the moment, I'm broke. Wanna know why? Cuz I spent all my money at the mall on Rurouni Kenshin DVDs, and mind you, Rurouni Kenshin belongs to them.  
  
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chap. 6 ~ raisins  
  
It was in late summer Wolf had arrived, and pretty soon, the endless nights of summer melted into autumn, beautiful array of leaves falling, tumbling to the ground. Leaves of orange, yellow, and red, littering the ground, and decorating the landscape. Leaves that dotted the gravel paths of Tokyo, leaves that left the mind of an adult toying with his early childish imaginations. However, the coming fall also brough monsoon winds, blowing fiercely throughout Japan, making the falling leaves dance to a beat of its own, swirling and flying in irregular patterns. Surprisingly, no typhoon came that year, which was expected by many. With each growing month, Kaoru grew more and more restless, everyone becoming fully aware of Kaoru's pregnancy.  
It was early November, and Kaoru sat outside, the air chilly, but warm enough for one to sit outside and enjoy what little of autumn was left. Her belly had begun to bulge undoubtly, and according to Megumi, the baby would be expected in early to middle shi-gatsu, April. But for now, it was the time to wait and anticipate. She had stopped teaching lessons on Kenshin's orders, saying that it was not good for the baby, and that she should relax in the months until April. Yahiko had taken the job instead, and would continue to do so until Kaoru was in good considerable health.  
Wolf continued to stay at the dojo, not having anywhere to go of course, and he had decided that the people surrounding him would offer him protection. However, as comfortable as he felt around them, he never told anything more than asked. For instance, he never told of who was supposedly chasing him, and no one asked, pressuming it was for the best. He ate the food given to him, and never asked for more, never taking more than he felt he needed, for he did not want to take advantage of them. He did the chores they assigned him to, but he never asked for more, never asked if there was more he could do. This pattern suited everyone well, and no one argued.  
Kaoru breathed in the fresh air, trying to keep herself occupied. Life had become so boring suddenly, she never woke up with something to look forward to, except keeping herself physically fit for the baby. No longer she looked forward to teaching swordsmanship, and as little sense it made, she missed looking forward to chores. Everyone did her chores for her, and she felt dependent...too dependent. Why couldn't they leave her alone? She could handle it. Just because she was carrying an unborn child, it didn't mean that she was incapable of doing things, she wasn't weak.  
She heard footsteps behind her, and she turned to find Kenshin. He smiled brightly and said, "Hello there Miss Kaoru. Miss Megumi said she would handle dinner, so no need to cook today."  
Kaoru felt her teeth clench and her fists tighten and before she could stop herself she blurted, "KENSHIN, I think I can HANDLE the pressure of cooking a simple meal!!!"  
Kenshin backed up a few steps as Kaoru stood to rise and face Kenshin, "Oro...?"  
"DON'T GIVE ME THAT ORO CRAP!!! I'M SICK OF PEOPLE DOING THINGS FOR ME EVERY SINGLE DAY!! JUST BECAUSE I WAKE UP WITH HEADACHES DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T DO THINGS AROUND HERE!!!"  
"Miss Kaoru...I never...said you..."  
"FOR CRAP'S SAKE I'M NOT SOME WEAKLING THAT CAN'T TAKE CARE OF HERSELF!!!"  
Kenshin's shock wore away, and he was hurt, but he didn't show it on his face as he put on a grim expression. Kaoru breathed heavily and then broke into sudden tears, sobbing. Kenshin was truly confused now, and he gently took Kaoru into his arms and patted her back comfortingly, then brushing her hair through his fingers, detangling the mop of untended black satin.  
":sniff: I'm sorry Kenshin... I guess I'm not feeling too well.... I don't know what came over me.... I'm sorry..." Kaoru apologized through sobs, tears pouring down her cheeks.  
Kenshin smiled softly and whispered, "I know you didn't mean it Miss Kaoru... It's alright..."  
Kaoru sniffed again and looked up, "Really?"  
Kenshin laughed and said reassuringly, "Really."  
And they stood there, in each other's arms, knowing that it really was okay.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Ichi!" A shinai swung over Yahiko's head.  
"YA!" the small group of kids yelled in response.  
"Ni!"  
"YA!"  
"San!"  
"YA!"  
"Shi!"  
"YA!"  
"Go!"  
"YA!!!"  
Yahiko had taken the responsibilty of teaching Kaoru's lessons very seriously, and although he didn't show it, he was flattered that Kaoru had told him he could teach until the child came. Since then, he had not insulted Kaoru as much, feeling that he owed her at least that much. The classes were not that big, but Yahiko had found that it was a lot harder to teach swordsmanship than he had thought, each student needed his or her own special attention at one point and time, and sometimes it was hard to describe what he was trying to teach.  
Without him noticing, Kaoru slipped into the room to watch how Yahiko handled teaching. She smiled at the strangeness of finding Yahiko at the front of a class, teaching... Who would have guessed?  
Who really would have guessed?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Megumi sighed and untied the bandana that held her long hair back. She swished her head to loosen her hair, and sat down in front of the table, along with Kenshin, Kaoru, Sanosuke, Yahiko, and Wolf. Cooking enough food to feed five people along with herself was a big task, and it had pretty much worn her out, she was happy to finally take a break to enjoy a decent meal.  
"Itadakimasu," everyone chorused, and happily dug into the warm food. All except for Kaoru.  
Kenshin daintily swallowed a morsel of rice and then turned to the noneating Kaoru, "Is something wrong Miss Kaoru?"  
Kaoru made a weird expression before smiling and saying, "Of course not Kensin...! Except..."  
Everyone stopped eating to stare at her in wonder, millions of possible things that Kaoru would find wrong calculating in their minds. Sano blinked a couple of times and asked hesitantly, "Yes...?"  
"Umm...I'm kinda craving some...raisins...."  
Everyone gave Kaoru a blank stare, except for Wolf, who was contentedly chewing his last bite of rice and smoked fish. "Excuse me?" Sano asked slowly.  
"Raisins."  
"A whatta wha-?"  
"Dried grapes, they's is popular in California in America," Wolf informed calmly.  
"Yes...we had some on our trip to Yokohama...remember?" Kaoru added softly.  
Everyone continued to say nothing and the silence hung in the air uncomfortably, as Kaoru fidgeted impatiently.  
'I cooked all this food, and she's not going to eat it?!' Megumi thought in her mind, but knew better than to actually say it aloud, so instead she said, "If you don't mind me asking Kaoru...where do you expect us to find raisins in Tokyo? Especially when it's basically nearing winter."  
Kaoru shrugged half-heartedly, not really caring HOW they got to her, but moreover cared about WHEN they were going to get to her.  
Kenshin gulped and honestly didn't know how else to say it, "Umm...Miss Kaoru...I don't believe we'll be able to get you your raisins..."  
Kaoru's eyebrows twitched and her lips formed a deep frown, "But. I. Want. Those. Raisins." Her sentences were fragmented, and she stopped after every word to highlight her emphasis on the importance of getting those raisins NOW.  
"Umm.."  
Kaoru sniffed loudly, obviously depressed at the fact she wouldn't be getting her raisins. Her sniff turned into a pout, which turned into a consistant whining, insistent and pleading. Everybody in the room gazed at Kaoru in astonishment, and Kenshin in guilt that he couldn't get Miss Kaoru what she needed.  
"How about this Miss Kaoru?" Kenshin began, words slowly forming in his brain.  
Kaoru stopped pouting for a second to listen to the next words coming out of Kenshin's mouth, "...Yeeeess?"  
"I'll get you those raisins as soon as I can, okay?"  
"Promise?"  
"Promise."  
Suddenly, Kaoru's stomach rumbled loudly, and everyone sweatdropped. "Ehehehe...I guess I'm really hungry!"  
"No shit..." Sano mumbled loudly.  
"I heard that!" Kaoru retorted, "I guess I can have raisins some other day... I'm suddenly not wanting any raisins at all, actually!!"  
Everybody facefaulted, except for Wolf who placidly wiped his mouth with a napkin and slowly stood up, politely saying, "Gochisosama deshita. Arigato gozaimasu Megumi-sama." His tongue had a slight American accent to it, but it was impressive for an eight-year old child who had only stayed in Japan for a short time.  
Megumi nodded in response as Wolf made his way to his room.  
"The child is such a mystery," Megumi muttered obscurely.  
"Hai, he hasn't told us anymore than we ask. I don't want to pry into another's business...especially when he is only a child. I sense that he has had a rough time for the past year or so, and he doesn't wish to share it with us...yet. We can only wait," Kenshin agreed tiredly, and picked up his chopsticks to start his cold dinner.  
  
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A/N: Alrite, I admit, a tad bit pointless. BUT, I felt like I needed to focus on Kaoru's pregnancy before going on with the main plot. AGAIN, if the next chapter's not here yet, please come back later to check it out! Arigato! Ja ne!  
  
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	7. wishing

A/N: I'll just shut up and let u guys read.  
  
Disclaimer: doesn't the word, "disclaimer" speak for itself?  
  
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chap. 7 ~ wishing  
  
Winter came sooner than anyone imagined. The golden leaves literally melted into fat, flurry flakes, which floated dreamily down, softly molding onto the ground and forming mounds with other flakes. The air was chilly, and at times, a bit bitter.  
  
New Year's was fast approaching, and it was decided that there would be a small party at the dojo. It was an opportunity to relax, and Aoshi and Misao would visit for the event, and perhaps stay until the baby was born. There was a flurry of excitement as Megumi, Sano, and Kenshin attempted to prepare for the coming of guests, while at the same time holding Kaoru back from doing any real work. They ran around like chickens with their heads chopped off, desperately trying to make last minute preperations and simultaneously keeping Kaoru still.  
  
The rickety carriage pulled to a stop as Aoshi placidly stepped out, a blank, unemotional expression plastered on his face. The horse whinnied, and Aoshi flicked some money in the driver's direction, who almost fell over in an attempt to catch the flying coins. He stepped aside to allow a cheerful, anxious Misao out of the carriage, and retrieved their luggage in the back.  
  
"Wolf, could you please help Aoshi-san with the bags?" Kenshin politely asked the young boy.  
  
He nodded and trotted down the path, courteously bowed and said, "Konnichiwa Aoshi-sama, can I's help you with your bags?"  
  
Aoshi looked down at the blonde, and merely ignored him as he continued his oh-so-interesting journey down the path to the dojo. Wolf put on a hurt face, but followed Aoshi, empty-handed, and watched as Misao squealed in delight, hugging Kaoru, and nearly squeezing all life out of her. (That can't be healthy)  
  
Kenshin, who had seen what had happened, walked over to Wolf, and calmly explained, "Aoshi-san has not been through the best of times. He was the former leader of the Oniwaban Group, and watched the murder of his fellow members. I, personally, was not there...but I can understand the hard times he is going through."  
  
The leader of the Oniwaban Group? Wolf thought. There were rumors...rumors that told of a legendary swordsman, Shinomori Aoshi, who was said to had helped in the downfall of Shishio Makato. This man....had been part of the prevention of a dictatorship run by Shishio. But these were mere rumors, mere whispers in the wind that nowadays, had any attention. People hardly took a second listen in an attempt to care. Shishio was killed, end of story. Who did it or what happened barely mattered anymore.  
  
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They say Aoshi Shinomori is as cold as ice. They say that his glance could freeze you to the spot, that his cold, steel eyes pierced through your very being, petrifying you, turning you to stone. The Oniwaban had been his life....for he had become their leader at the age of fifteen. He had to become strong, had to be rigid and a leader. But it was all taken away from him. The Oniwaban had been taken away from him. And so, in turn, his life had been taken away from him. He now hid behind a mask of self-compassion, meditating often in an incense-filled temple.  
  
How the famous Aoshi Shinomori knew Kenshin Himura, no one was sure... Years ago, people had talked of how a red-headed rurouni had sauntered around during and after the Revolution. Wolf had heard a villager tell his tale. He recalled the man telling of how the sky had been gray, and yet it was cloudless, the trees bare. The little leaves that were left were dry; dry leaves that crackled in the gusting wind that blew. A Sakabato had hung at his side, the most obvious characteristic that stood out, for the Meiji Era was a time of peace, and it was illegal to carry a sword. But still, no one dared to question him, not even the police, for his expression read that he was not a person to mess with. His eyes were a passionless amber, frigid and sharp, they were eyes that could cut through life itself.  
  
But perhaps they were all just rumors, Kenshin had claimed he had never killed a person, nor had he ever wanted to. Wolf couldn't understand the illogic of it, could not put two and two together... Why had he heard numerous rumors that told of a red-haired man with a cross-shaped scar on his left cheek, who had the eyes, hands, and skills of a murderer....that fit the description of this easy-going, lax Kenshin he knew now?  
  
Wolf remained quiet all throughout the party and celebrations, his eyes in a distant place as these thoughts swam in his head. His face remained blank as he watched the people around him joke and kid, pouring eachother cup after cup of sake (except for Aoshi of course, who refused any alcoholic drink, and merely stuck with tea). Misao kept slapping Kenshin's back whenever he was in the middle of a drink, causing him to choke, Kaoru to panic, and Sano to laugh. He didn't know why these thoughts troubled him so much, and decided to shrug it off, smiling warmly as they invited him to watch the sunrise.  
  
The New Year's sunrise was watched in silence, not eery, uncomfortable, but satisfied, comforting silence that set the tone for the perfect atmosphere that would welcome the New Year with grace. Despite all the thoughts that still hung in the back of his mind, Wolf was happy. The day had been so magnificent, and he was glad to be surrounded by so many different, unique people. The variety was...interesting. And so, as the sun broke just over the horizon, he made his wish for the New Year. He wished that every day would be filled with the same beautiful people, the same beautiful life.  
  
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Snow never stayed long in Japan. It seemed that as soon as it came, it was replaced by the brown dirt, barely dotted with clumps of spongy grass. The sky's gray clouds seemed heavy; heavy enough to dump the endless amounts of rain it held within its grasp. Oddly enough however, water did not pour down like everyone had pressumed. Rain in Japan was never predictable, and one had to have a back-up plan in case crystaline drops came falling from the sky.  
  
Aoshi had retreated to a nearby temple, wanting to simply meditate, since he had not done so since before New Year's. Misao contentedly went with him, bringing with her extra tea, cusions, and an umbrella in case the rain came pouring down. Kaoru decided to stay in bed, not feeling quite so well after loosing last night's dinner and breakfast all in one breath. Kenshin stayed by her side of course, worrying his mind out, then leaving her to rest while he did a few chores.  
  
Sano had invited a few friends to the dojo, to gamble and drink some sake. If Kaoru had known, she would have had a fit and thrown them all out, but she had no say in the matter as she was sick in bed with a damp cloth being held to her forehead. So, Sano had all day to throw the die around and loose a couple yen. After a couple of hours of whooping and cheering, they received a sharp reprimand from Kenshin, who scolded them on the principles of the common courtesy, then were forced out of the dojo by the red-head.  
  
Wolf stayed out of the way, doing something or another in his room while Yahiko ran the few lessons that were to be held that day. Megumi was nowhere to be found, as she decided to stay in her clinic to treat the overnight clients. The day had pretty much been typical, and soon, the day had dwindled away, the sun no longer but a speck in the sky, slowly diminishing into the endless horizon. Soon, white specks of light scattered the navy black blanket held over the once blue sky, barely visible through the gray clouds that still threatened to pour rain. No moon occupied the space between the clouds and stars, for it was New Moon.  
  
Wolf sighed and blew out the candle that lit his room, leaving him in the darkness. All day he had been reading old newspapers he had found in his room, newspapers from the Revolution that told of the numerous battles that had befallen Japan at the time. The battles that had been triggered with the coming of Commodore Perry in 1853... The coming of foreigners in Japan...  
  
He shook his head in an attempt to relieve himself of his throbbing headache, and only assumed that sleep was the best cure as he settled down into his futon. His eyelids slid downwards, and soon, his mind was blank and relaxed. But perhaps he had read too many newspaper articles, or maybe it was his headache taking a toll on his sleep, but either way, his drowsy sleep soon morphed into a dream.  
  
~ There seemed to be a sound of fireworks in the air, tremendous explosions that rattled his bones and shook his body with amazing force. He was face-first in the dirt, laying on his stomach behind a small hill. The ground shook, and he could make out the shouts of men above the din, yelling in Japanese, and if he listened hard enough, he could make out the sounds of English commands bellowing, their voices riding on the wind. Cautiously, he crawled up the hill, curious as to what could be happening.  
  
He made his way to the top, and his eyes widened at the scene before him. Gun smoke polluted the air as shot after shot rang out of the numerous cannons that were aligned on the sea shore. Wolf averted his eyes to the target of the cannons, a heavy steel-plated ship with the letters "U.S." printed on its side. A foreign ship. Wolf watched in amazement as voices rang from the ship, its passengers scrambling this way and that to put up a solid defense. However, their efforts had little effect.  
  
He watched as the few men that had obtained weapons on the boat fire their guns. The battle raged on, the smoke from the guns and cannons swirling into the air, producing heavy black clouds that gathered and crowded, blocking the sky that could have once been blue.  
  
He suddenly found himself on his feet, precariously drawn to the battle between the Japanese and foreigners. Suddenly, among the many black- haired heads in the on-shore fort, Wolf spotted a sand-colored head. The man had aqua-blue-green eyes; eyes that at the moment, were filled with determination and pride. With every cannon ball fired, with every hole made in the foreign ship, and with every enemy that fell dead into the blood-red sea, the man became more steered to bring down his opponent, his face more set to the task ahead. A foreigner, it seemed, that was proud to bring down his own. Wolf watched this man light sparks that caught on the wool-threads that willed the cannons to fire. He watched the man laugh and smile at the sheer exhiliration the battle was bringing him. Wolf wondered why he was laughing when he was caught in such a serious matter.  
  
But still, as his comrades fell beside him, his firm expression never faltered, and continued to strike, light, and fire the cannons into the near-sinking ship. He struck a match and lit the fuse, covering his ears as the cannon ball sailed straight for the boat. It seemed too much for the ship, as it began to slowly dip into the sea, slowly drowning into the dark depths. The man cheered and threw his arm up into the air, when suddenly a bullet caught him. The man watched as bullets dotted his body, piercing his flesh, pain now petrifying his being. He gasped as he crouched down on his knees, grasping his sides as if this would accomplish something. Startled, Wolf ran towards the man, avoiding the bodies that littered the blood-stained ground, and could only watch as the man fell onto his side, still holding his sides. In his last moments, the man exhaled fulfillingly, and softly muttered the words, "I'm sorry..." Muttering words as if the person he was apologizing to was there.  
  
With that, the man took in an irregular breath, Wolf felt his heart tighten as the man seemingly looked at Wolf, as if in purpose, and smiled as he died there on the fort's ground. ~  
  
Wolf's eyes shot open, and he remained lying down as he turned over to his side. After pulling off his blankets, he found he was drenched in sweat and simply panic-stricken. He sat up, rubbing his temples with his index fingers, attempting to set his mind straight. He had a strange a feeling that the dream had not been a dream, but something more... It seemed more like a vision of the past....but maybe it was his head playing with him. He gave up thinking about it as he stood up to open the fusuma. Perhaps some fresh air was in order, then maybe he could go back to sleep.  
  
He breathed the fresh, musty air, feeling better already. He hugged his knees to his chest, resting his blonde head atop his knees, pulling himself into a crouching position. He suddenly heard a rustle in the bushes and tilted his head towards the source of the sound. He quirked his eyebrows and hesitantly decided that it was nothing, maybe a small mouse or something.  
  
Before he knew it, a damp, strange-smelling cloth was brought over his nose and mouth, forcing him to inhale what ever toxins it had been drenched in. He struggled to breath, and desperately attempted to shake off the hands that had him pinned to his attacker. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't help but give in to the darkness that was calling him; the darkness that swirled around his mind and enveloped him, making his eyelids droop, and mind drowsy. He fell limp into the man's arms in less than a minute.  
  
"Gotcha."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: for your convinience, I put spaces between each paragraph so as it would be easier for you to read (I hope it helped anyways...). But yea, I understand that this chapter had limited dialogue, and I hope I wasn't being too descriptive or dragging too much. But yes, please review! Arigato! 


	8. remember

Author's Note: You know when things are going bad... I guess you've just have to wait, because God will help you even if you think it's not fair what he's doing. He does everything for a reason. I guess I lost sight of that for a little while....  
  
Disclaimer: All rights and privileges to Rurouni Kenshin belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki, Shuiesha, Sony Music Entertainment, and associated parties. The characters of these series are used WITHOUT permission for the purpose of entertainment only. This work of fiction is not meant for sale or profit. Original portion of the fiction included here is considered to be the sole property of the author.  
  
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chap. 8 ~ remember  
  
Kenshin sighed tiredly, but had to smile when he saw Kaoru sprawled onto their futon, taking up the whole space. He didn't mind at all, she needed the rest more than he did, and besides, it was only for a night. He rested his head against the wooden wall next to the low window in their room. He enjoyed the soft breeze that carried inside during the late months of winter and early months of spring, after the snow had freshly melted off the ground. Leaning his Sakabato against his left leg, he turned his head to stare out into the night, counting the so few stars that hardly filled the cloudy landscape.  
The day had worn him out, and Kenshin found himself nodding off to sleep, his eyes slowly closing as his mind drifted. Just as he was about to fall asleep, he heard a muffled yell, and from what he could make out, it sounded very similar to Wolf's. He dragged himself out of his near- slumber, and rose from his position next to the window. Careful so as not to wake Kaoru, he slid open the fusuma and decided to find out what was keeping Wolf up so late at night.  
When the cold air whipped at his face, Kenshin was surprised to find the air had seemingly dropped twenty degrees. He shivered and made his way to where he had heard the barely audible yell. What he saw caught him by surprise.  
"Gotcha," a stranger muttered under his breath, swiftly putting away a damp cloth in a small pouch on his belt. Wolf lay limply unconscious in the stranger's outstretched arms. Clad in a black gi, his eyes widened at the sight of Kenshin. Cursing under his breath, he departed in the opposite direction, Wolf tossed carelessly over his back, a gust of cold wind trailing behind him.  
Kenshin's eyes widened in shock, and then narrowed, naturally following the kidnapper. The air whistled past his ears as Kenshin ran after the man into the vast foilage towards the back of the dojo. Leaves and brances stuck out at weird angles, and Kenshin had to dodge them or knock them out of his way, painfully slowing him down. Anticipation and anxiousness pounded in his head, his perception telling him that this was no ordinary kidnapper that stole kids off into the blackness of the night. Kenshin had a feeling that this man knew who Wolf was, and was determined to get him back, going to tremendous efforts to achieve that goal.  
Realizing that Kenshin had no means of giving up the persuit, the man skirted to a halt in a clearing in the woods, loose dirt lashing upwards, swirling in the wind before resting onto the ground again.  
The man's face was set, his anger fueled by his frustration of having to deal with a witness. He had hoped this would have been a clear cut task, but he had clumsily been too noisy, and this was how he had to pay for it.  
"If you insist on chasing me like this," the man growled, "then you shall die tonight!"  
Kenshin suddenly noted the Katana tied to the man's waist, and only kept his hands on his Sakabato, not daring to draw his weapon. Not wanting to...  
The man unceremoniously tossed Wolf to the ground, a small sound escaping the boy's lips as he crashed to the ground; the man's right hand was on the hilt of his weapon, "You seem to be no opponent, judging by the distaste of shed blood in your eyes...but you shall have the honor of dying at the blade of my sword!" With that, he charged, and slashed upwards, creating a distraction for his actual attack. Kenshin, however, read his movements, and defensively lifted his sheath to block to attack.  
Successful with his defensive stance, Kenshin decided that there was no other option that to go onto the offensive, and reluctantly unsheathed his sword, its blade reflecting the leaves that fell around him. The two fighters stood there, swords drawn, held high in front of them, resulting in a vigorous staring match, each trying to figure out their opponent's next move.  
'Red hair...a cross-shaped scar on his left cheek....I believe I know this man....through legends....' thought the man, thinking his situation through before rushing at Kenshin, sword ready to slash through whatever defense Kenshin may have ready. However, Kenshin had no intention of defending and seemingly disappeared into thin air instead.  
Seeing this, the man turned around, finding Kenshin lunging towards him with a vicious lowercut, and their swords clanged, sparks flew as each man pushing at eachother in order to gain the advantage. The wind swirled, whispering eerily through the trees.  
'Hitokiri Battousai...' the thought abruptly struck the man's mind, not knowing entirely why he didn't recognize such a legend right away.  
"You...are the Hitokiri Battousai...!" he grunted, making one final thrust, the impact sending them both sliding back several feet.  
Despite being in the thick of a match, Kenshin's eyebrows creased, wondering what in heaven's name this man was talking about, "Hitokiri? I am no assassin. Nor have I ever spilled blood, and I do not want to start with you!" Kenshin attacked once more, both fighters blocking and attacking, none of the attacks landing.  
"Denying? Denying your bloody past? You can't deny anything Battousai, I know for sure you are the exact manslayer I say you are, from your fighting style and you possess every characteristic known to identify the Battousai. Everyone in Japan knows that scar, and the man that goes with it." Kenshin's eyes widened in astonishment and stared back at the man in an unbelieving manner. The man smirked maliciously, and yelled, "And I, Katsukawa Gensou of the Choshu Clan, will kill you! I just wish you had put up more of a fight!"  
'I... I am...no....killer....am I?' Kenshin asked himself, ignoring the fact that Gensou was running straight at him. He glanced at the sword in his hand, barely gripping its ragged hilt, 'Swords kill....did I?'  
Breathing heavily, pain struck his head, and he winced, closing his eyes, and watching images flash through his unopened eyelids. He saw, felt, warm blood on his hands, felt two swords in his hands instead of one. Saw a body spread out on the stone ground he now stood on instead of the soft dirt. Blood...that ran down through the cracks and crevices that lined the concrete blocks. And felt blood pour down around him like rain....he had brought the bloody rain....  
Just as in his vision, blood stained through his pink gi, but instead, this blood was his. Kenshin kneeled there on the ground, gasping, both from the physical pain and mental pain as a small bit of his memory came flooding back to him.  
Gensou stood over Kenshin, a disgusted look on his face, "I will let you live for now, Battousai. I want a fair match with you, I want to bring down the Battousai when he is at his fullest, and perhaps the next time we meet, you won't hold back...and I swear, I swear, that we will meet again."  
  
He pursed his lips, and spat onto the ground in front of Kenshin before flicking the blood off of his sword and throwing Wolf over his shoulders, departing into the darkness of the forest.  
It seemed the clouds could no longer carry its heavy burden, and at last, the heavens above opened, pouring down the rain that it had forever kept; pouring the rain down onto Japan, soaking into the soil, and trickling down branches and leaves. Crystaline drops that cascaded, dotting and streaking the dirt. The heavy drops thudded onto the earth, creating a steady rhythmic beat. Water mingled with blood and salty tears that ran down Kenshin's cheeks. He wasn't exactly sure why he was crying. He wasn't even exactly sure of what he had just seen flashing through his mind. It was no ordinary vision that he normally had when he dreamed, but it was more of a scene that had happened before in his life. A...moment that had occured before, and was playing again. A memory? But how could it he had forgotten in the first place? If that little vision of his memory had affected him so much....how would it be if he saw himself kill dozens of people over and over again? How much pain could he take...? How much could he handle...before he broke apart, and shattered into a million pieces?  
Hitokiri....Battousai.... An assassin...a murderer, a killer. So many words that described the horrid, heartless person he was... Ignoring the pain in his head and his sides, he stood, and sheathed his sword as he slowly made his way back to the dojo. The dojo...  
What would Kaoru think of him now? She wouldn't want a killer for a husband... She'd hate him...or at least throw him a despicable look every time she saw him. His eyes reflected confusion; passionless amber that mingled and fused with soft, blue-tinted violet, swirling together in an endless combination of color. The drops of water seeped through the threads of his gi, matting his hair, and allowing the blood to trickle down his face and neck. They say when it rains, the earth cries. Was the earth crying for him? Were the angels crying for him? Did he deserve such pity...?  
The mud oozed onto his feet and between his toes as he reached the front of the Kamiya Dojo. The only place he knew as home. As he approached, he saw Sano there, leaning against a post, arms crossed over his chest, a concerned expression written on his face.  
The rain continued to fall as Kenshin answered the unasked, "I....I don't know who I am anymore...."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	9. remembering

Author's Notes: hey hey! Wassup you guys? Sry about the seriousness of the last chapter's author's notes and disclaimer, but I had ta set the tone for a pretty serious chapter!  
  
Furthermore, I'm really glad that you guys liked it, cuz I wrote it when I was having writer's block! It didn't turn out like I wanted it to, but I posted it anyways, and I'm glad you guys liked it!!   
  
Lol, I thought it was really funni how everyone had a reason why they weren't reviewing, and don't worry guys, no hard feelings! All those reasons you guys gave me were things that have happened to me. My computer's definitely crashed once or twice (or three times...), and I've gotten a new computer before and setting it up is hard! Also, I go out of town w/o telling anyone a lot too... o.O Oh, and homework continuously bothers me, but I try my best to keep a steady pace w/ my stories.  
  
Seems like all of ya'll were in the mood for conversation, and don't worry, I luv a good conversation!! Ehehehe, if any of you wanna e-mail me for kicks, just drop me an e-mail and I'd luv to talk. Or IM me at: chrryblssm16. ahahahaha...  
  
Oh, fair warning to you, there are gonna be serious spoilers for the Samurai X OVA series. So, if you're one of those people who hate spoilers, I'd advise you not to read on... but you're not a true Rurouni Kenshin fan if you haven't seen the OVA series... (and besides, you should've seen this coming, I mean, I'm dealing w/ Kenshin's past here!)  
  
Oh, and speaking of memories, in case you guys haven't caught on, all flashbacks/memories/dreams end and start with tildas. just making sure...  
  
Sheesh, I'm rambling, I should shut up. But before I let you guys read, I'd like to thank all of those who have reviewed, and I hope that you will enjoy what's to come!   
  
Disclaimer: "disclaimer"

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chap. 9 remembering

Without warning, the rain fell. No, not fell, it pounded. Poured and overflowed the rivers and fields with endless amounts of silver liquid. The water fell over the sides of the slanted edges of the small temple. Aoshi kneeled on a cushion, eyes closed, in deep meditative thought. Misao sat a little back, getting up only to refill Aoshi-sama's teacup when necessary. She watched as droplet after droplet crashed onto the tiled floor of the temple's outside floor.  
"It's a good thing I brought an umbrella, Aoshi-sama!" she piped, "The rain seems to have finally come down!"  
"Hn."  
"Would you like some more tea? It's getting awfully cold," Misao requested helpfully.  
"No, I'm fine."  
Misao sighed, she could never get more than a couple of words out of Aoshi-sama. It was frustrating, but she knew he meant no offense. Sometimes she felt like shaking him roughly by the shoulders and screaming in his face to wake up and quit blaming himself for everything. After all, it wasn't his fault that... But no matter how she would or could put it, Aoshi-sama continued to blame himself for the death of the Obiwanan. She was basically the only member left. She didn't even hear the story from Aoshi-sama's lips; she had pestered and nagged Kenshin until he reluctantly gave up and told her what he knew. She gave up her deep train of thought as she turned to stare at Aoshi, 'I wish he would open up more...'  
Misao was about to comment on the late hour, but before she could open her mouth to say the words, Aoshi slowly opened his eyes and stated monotonously, "Something has happened to Himura." 

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----- Blazing orange and red seared the sky as if it were burning. Red that smeared like the blood of the many that died in the Tokugawa Era. An age of revolution and uprising. The sun was a bright yellow, so bright, that it dulled, a mellow color that barely lit the earth. Shadows flung and swayed, the wind barely a whisper.  
A boy stood in the middle of the all this chaos and terror. His small figure had but a tiny shadow as he stood amongst the graves that he had dug. Hand-tied wooden crosses were staked into the ground, marking the resting place of an innocent life, or a wandering soul. In the center, stood three rocks, side by side, and uneven, clearly damaged by the erosion of previous years.  
A man walked among these graves, observing what a small boy had done, for bandits and victims alike. He had buried the dead, no matter whom the person. His long shadow reflected behind him as he walked up to the boy, "I see you have dug graves for your family as well as the bandits. Both for the victims and killers."  
The boy had a respectable aura that glowed, and his face remained expressionless as he responded, "They were not my family. My parents died in a cholera epidemic, and these people were going to sell me into slavery. But yet, they helped me, they screamed, saying, 'Save the child,' and so, I wanted to make their graves special. But all I could find were these rocks."  
"Hn... What is your name boy?"  
"Shinta."  
"Shinta... That isn't a name suitable for a swordsman. From now on, your name is Kenshin."  
"Kenshin..." -----

------------

Kenshin's eyes shot open, breathing heavily. He found himself laying in a futon, covered in blankets, and his wounds all bandaged. Was...it all a dream?  
"Yo! Kenshin! You awake?" The fusuma slid open, and Sano stepped in, food and hot tea at hand, "I don't know what happened last night, here you are, comin' home bleeding a river of blood, and then you pass out! We got Megumi over here to treat your wounds and she says your wounds were made by a sword. What kind of trouble could you possibly get yourself into?"  
Kenshin could only stare into his teacup, watching the ripples form and diminish as it reached the edges, "I couldn't save him Sano. I couldn't even save myself."  
Sano looked at Kenshin as though he were mad, "Who?"  
Kenshin did not respond directly to Sano's statement, but instead elaborated, "Last night... Wolf was knocked out and taken by a stranger, so I followed them. The man that kidnapped Wolf was named Gensou Katsukawa... He claimed that I am the Hitokiri Battousai..."  
"Assasin?"  
"Yes... I didn't believe him...but then... A...a sort of memory came to me... It was real Sano, I know it was. I remembered how it was like to kill...I-I felt the blood on my hands, I felt the swords in my hands... And then I knew...he wasn't lying." Kenshin sighed and closed his eyes, trying to numb the pain, wanting to make the pain that made his heart tear, go away. But he knew...that it wouldn't, couldn't go away.  
Sanosuke was speechless, wordless, astounded, shocked, to hear these words come out of Kenshin's mouth. He observed his troubled friend through concerned eyes, wondering what more there was to Kenshin that he didn't know about...that even Kenshin didn't know about.  
They sat in silence, not knowing what to say, not knowing what to think, not knowing what to do next. Or what was to come. Kenshin had not taken one sip of his tea, or one bite of his food, and didn't intend to do so for the day being. Suddenly, the paper door opened, and Aoshi stood there, wet to the bone, drenched in the fresh water that still continued to waterfall down onto the earth. Gasping, Misao skidded to a halt behind him, panting from the run she had to maintain in order to catch up with Aoshi-sama. After he had mumbled something about something wrong with Himura, he had blown out the candle in the temple, and without warning, he hurried over to the dojo in a brisk walk. This was the most emotion Aoshi- sama had expressed in quite awhile, and even now, he still held the same expressionless glint in his eyes.  
"Don't go doing something naive Himura," Aoshi stated, clearly tuned into what was happening, still standing by the open fusuma.  
Kenshin didn't bother to question how Aoshi knew, instead, he gradually opened his eyes, void filling his eyes that spread through his whole body. Kenshin was clearly struck hard by the recent events that had happened. The group ignored the wind that howled outside, only anticipating the next words that would escape Kenshin's lips.  
Kenshin continued to stare at nothing as he spoke, "I won't. But...I am going to find Wolf. It's the least I can do." With that, Kenshin stood, and walked out of the room.  
"Oi, Kenshin, where do you think you're going?" Sano asked to Kenshin's back.  
"For a walk."  
"But...it's raining!" Sano protested.  
"It doesn't matter. Nothing matters."  
The fusuma slid shut. 

------------  
  
"He's not going to go after Wolf himself, is he?" Sano asked no one in particular.  
Aoshi sighed and removed his damp trenchcoat in one fluid motion, revealing the Kodachi tied around his waist, "No, he's too devastated at the moment. He'll be in his own shell for awhile, and probably avoid everybody, especially Kaoru."  
Misao took Aoshi's trenchcoat into her arms to dry it out, her face thoroughly confused with the current situation, "Somebody want to clue me in? What's wrong with Himura?"  
"Is Kenshin alright? Did something happen?" Everyone swiveled around to find Kaoru standing in the room, who remained uninformed.  
The two men turned their backs on Kaoru, ignoring her pleading question, figuring that it was better for her to hear it straight from Kenshin himself. Aoshi reached for the porcelein teapot, and poured himself a cup of steaming tea, "He'll be fine."  
"Don't worry Kaoru, I don't know what's happening either," Misao said assuringly, "I'm sure we'll find out later."  
Kaoru bit her lip, not entirely content with the answers she was getting. Something was wrong with Kenshin; the constant tug in her heart kept telling her so.

------------  
  
He wasn't exactly sure where he was walking to, nor did he bother to stop to find out. Step by step he kept walking, foot by foot, inch by inch, his feet carrying him to where ever they wanted him to go. He soon found himself in the same clearing he was in just a few hours ago.  
_Hitokiri Battousai...._  
The name whispered in the howling wind, screamed in the thudding rain.  
_ Assassin...  
_ The life he had been living was a lie. All of it.  
_Murderer..._  
He didn't even know all of what he did. He didn't know how many others he killed, he didn't know for how long. He only had bits and pieces of his memory, not sure how much more there was left.  
_Manslayer...  
_ He lifted his head up to the heavens, letting the rain pour down his cheeks and neck. He sighed, his mind flooded with thoughts, very much like the water that flooded Tokyo's banks. He shouldn't be this selfish. It wasn't fair to the others that he was worrying them, especially Kaoru. No, this wasn't the time to waste on selfish thoughts when Wolf was probably suffering.  
Kenshin vowed he would find Wolf, and bring him back safely. But...  
Was he really doing this for Wolf?  
Or doing it just to clear his guilty conscience?

------------  
  
The world was black. He blinked slowly, and his vision was blurry as he regained consciousness. He groaned, and sat up as he lay his blonde head in his hands, waiting for the pounding in his head to stop. Still dizzy, he gazed upwards, and saw an all too familiar room suround him. He was back to where it all started...why did he even think he could escape by running away?  
A black shadow was visible through the thin paper door, and the figure of Gensou Katsukawa appeared as the door opened. He smirked, and looked at the now-conscious Wolf straight in the eye, "You can't get away boy." Wolf felt a shiver travel up his back, and his body stiffin as Gensou continued, "Fortunately for you, I will not harm you...no, you are too valuable for that. Just give me what I want..."  
Wolf plucked up as much courage as he could and despite the fact he was trembling in fear on the inside, he firmly replied, "No."  
Gensou only smiled maliciously, and said, "No? I see...but there is time to play games boy, and I am patient. How fortunate I was to meet the Battousai. Tell me boy, how is it you, a careless idiot, was able to run into such a legend as the Battousai?"  
Wolf didn't reply, and only gave Gensou a spiteful glare, in which Gensou laughed at.  
"I know what you are thinking boy. The Battousai won't come for you, and if he comes, he comes to fight me. But perhaps he won't know where to begin to look, ne? I suppose we'll have to give him a hint." Gensou paused at these words, the entire plan forming in his mind in an instant.  
Gensou licked his lips, as if savoring the taste of sweet victory already, "Hiroji!"  
Hiroji appeared in an instant, his thin, brown hair sticking out from underneath his mask, in which he wore at all times to cover the deformed face he had been born with. However, his face didn't stop him from becoming a master at throwing knives and darts, his aim precise. And so far, he had never missed. Not one. And he didn't plan on missing anytime soon. Wolf could only make out the outline of Hiroji's shadow through the fusuma as he responded to Gensou's call, "Yes sir?"  
"The Battousai resides at the Kamiya Dojo in Tokyo. Do not harm him, he is my opponent. In fact, do not let him know you are there. All I want you to do is give him a hint to where to start looking for the boy. He is the bait. I want you to follow him, make sure he is on the right track, but do not make it so easy. Throw in some obstacles, throw in some red herrings for a nice twist, just to make the game a little more interesting... Report back to me whenever you can," Gensou finished thoughtfully, then reaffirmed, "I trust you can do this with no mistakes?"  
Hiroji nodded, then was gone.  
Gensou turned to Wolf, and said quietly, "The Battousai is nobody's friend."  
Wolf watched Gensou leave, shutting the fusuma, knowing perfectly well that Wolf would not attempt to run away again. There were armed guards at every entrance, corner, and window.  
'No, the Battousai is nobody's friend...' Wolf thought, 'but Kenshin is.'

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There was no sun that morning. It was just cloudy gray skies as far as the eye could see. The heavy rain had lightened to a light drizzle, but water still came down on the earth, nonetheless. Kenshin woke by the windowsill, for he had refused to sleep with Kaoru in their futon, despite everybody's objections. He didn't deserve the luxury.  
Kenshin was up far earlier than anyone would be, with the exception of Aoshi, and so Kaoru was still sleeping soundly, her chest rising up and down in a steady beat with every breath. After he had come home to the dojo after last night's "walk," she had persistantly asked what was wrong...and he told her. Her reaction was unlike anything Kenshin had imagined, she had smiled...smiled and said that she didn't care. But how could she not care? How could she keep loving the heartless killer he was?  
But yet...he couldn't face her. He couldn't face anyone until he was finished facing himself.  
He sighed, and mindlessly stood up. But as he lifted his hand to open the fusuma, he felt warm, thick liquid on his left cheek. He furrowed his eyebrows as he put his fingers to his cheek, lightly brushing some of it onto his fingers. Blood. The vertical scar on his cheek was bleeding. But it had not bled since...  
...  
----- "I cannot die..." a man kept mumbling, blood was splattered all over, his blood, "It cannot be my time to die...I will not die!"  
He charged at Kenshin, who had a calm, monotonous expression on his face. Kenshin struck him down in one blow, his eyes growing wide at the cut the man had made on his left cheek. A stubborn opponent. He smeared the blood on his face with his index and middle finger as he watched the man lay on his stomach, reaching out for a small, pink flower on the ground, attempting to hold on to what little life he had left, "I do not want to die... Not yet...not now.... Do not let me die..." And in his mind's eye, he saw his childhood sweetheart, holding up a pot of fresh flowers, smiling in the sunlight, "Tomoe..."  
His last words, for Kenshin stabbed his sword through the man's throat, ending his life there and then. His cheek continued to trickle blood in small drips.  
They say that if a wound is made by someone with a strong hatred, that wound will not heal until revenge is obtained. -----  
  
There was a flash of light, and it was over just as it had begun.  
Another memory.  
Kenshin tried to focus and saw that the ground below him was seemingly slanted, an inclined plane that made his position staggered and tipsy, almost dream-like. He saw the world in two's, and the nausea in his head made him almost want to throw-up. He touched his hand to his cheek, still feeling the sticky blood on his face and fingers. Gasping, he made his way outside to the washing tub to wash away the blood, but however, even as the water cleared away the old blood, it seemed only to make room for the new stream that bled down his face like a river.  
So instead, he held a damp cloth to his cheek, deciding that the bleeding would have to stop sometime...but...  
Why had it even started?  
Something told him that the person he had killed that night was of some importance to his life. The death of that man...had helped make him who Kenshin was today... But yet, the name of the man still escaped him, and the woman's name he was calling out...was familiar...  
So he had taken another life...and there were probably more to come. He wasn't given the title Hitokiri Battousai for the two deaths Kenshin knew so far... No man was given the title HItokiri unless he was truly a formidable swordsman.  
Another death.  
His headache faded away, but soon melted away into depression, eating at his heart and soul.  
A loud thud brought Kenshin to reality as he felt something whisk past his head, barely missing; grazing and cutting a few red hairs, which dreamily floated to the ground. He shook away his thoughts and walked up to the small dart that was now indented in a wooden support of the dojo. Kenshin saw that a piece of paper was rolled up and attached to it, and he lifted his hands to remove it.  
Slowly unraveling the thin, fragile paper, he read the message written on it:  
  
"Screams of terror rang,  
And will ring again.  
Blood of old wounds  
Will spill again.  
Steel will petrify  
Flesh.  
The past will become  
The present.  
And the flames of  
Hell  
Will burn.  
In the land  
Where the Manslayer reigned.  
Come get your pup."  
  
It was like a riddle, Kenshin thought, reading through it again and again, trying to get a sense of what it was saying. There was no doubt that Gensou or one of his men wrote it and sent it, for at the bottom of the piece of paper was the Chinese character for "illusion" enscribed in red ink. Only logical since Gensou was the Japanese word for illusion. The entire message was written in beautiful script, and the irony of it made Kenshin wonder who had really written it.  
Kenshin knew that the person who had thrown the dart wouldn't have stayed long enough to watch him read it, and so he decided to try to sort it out. The riddle had to have one definate message, and he was sure there was more to it, but he would have to find it out later...  
"Pup"...that had to be Wolf. Gensou was toying with Kenshin, like a human dangling a mouse in front of a cat and then jerking it away as soon as it almost had its prize. He was daring Kenshin to save Wolf.  
"In the land where the Manslayer reigned"...the Manslayer was no doubt himself...  
In the land where he reigned?  
He put the thought aside for a short second as he remembered his bleeding scar. The cloth that he held up to his scar was soaked in blood and he lowered it, staring at the fresh, red blood that stained it. Where had he spilt blood? He closed his eyes in an attempt to remember...he didn't want to, but he needed to remember...for Wolf.  
Visions flashed before his closed eyes, familiar buildings and homes forming in his mind. Streets, markets, and shops that belonged to only one place in the world.  
Kyoto.  
Wolf was in Kyoto. And something was going to happen in Kyoto. Something big. Kenshin didn't know what, but he knew Gensou was brewing something. Something bloody.

------------


	10. remembered

  
  
Author's Notes: hey guys! Well, here it is, and I hope you all like it. School's almost over, ain't it great? Problem is, there's still finals to take!! . I'M GONNA FAIL!! But ish okie, it's all good. Thanx for reading this far, and I hope to get some feedback!  
  
Disclaimer: Not much belongs to me...'cept this story line, so don't steal it.

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chap. 10 - remembered  
  
Kenshin wasn't the only one suffering, Misao knew that for sure. Day by day, gradually, she saw a difference in Aoshi-sama. Moments from his life were coming back as well. Everybody was connected to Kenshin, and him losing his memory only meant that everybody else would have to too, in order for him to remain forgetting about his past. She thought Himura was being slightly selfish on the matter, but when she looked at the situation from his point of view, and pieced together the little information she knew, she understood what Himura wanted to get away from.  
Aoshi-sama went to the temple to meditate more often. It seemed that he desperately needed to sort out his thoughts due to the recent events that were occurring. Kenshin most definately took the hardest blows, but Aoshi-san and Sano took some with them as well.  
It seemed that Sano and Aoshi-sama were once Kenshin's opponents, but in the end, banded together to bring down Shishio. Before now, no one was entirely sure how Shishio was defeated, not even Aoshi-san knew for sure...but now...they knew that Kenshin played a major role, right along with Aoshi and Sanosuke.  
Aoshi didn't know how he should take this. He wasn't sure if he knew Kenshin as the person he thought he was. From the few moments he was able to recapture, he knew that twice Aoshi had attempted to bring down the Battousai...to prove the Oniwa Banshu as the strongest...as the greatest. But both times, he had failed. Both times, he couldn't prove anything... He couldn't show to Hannya, Shikijou, Hyottoko, and Beshimi that the Oniwa Banshu was the strongest... So what good were their deaths?  
The incense from the temple eased his mind, but his thoughts kept on lingering upon the old memories that dwelled in his head. He knew there was more he still needed to remember; still more that he needed to put together before thinking rashly.  
But one day, he would prove to his faithful friends that the Oniwaban was indeed the best. He would prove it...no matter what the consequences.

------------  
  
Kenshin fumbled mindlessly with his hair, wondering what to do with this new information at hand. He needed to get to Kyoto...and as fast as he could. He was planning on traveling by foot alone, thinking that it was for the best, thinking that he did not want to get anybody else into this mess...especially not Kaoru. After a few moments of going back and forth between the idea when to leave, he concluded that he should leave immediately, and slid his hair into a piece of soft twine.  
He stood up, brushing off the dirt on his clothes, and opened the fusuma only to find Kaoru standing in front of him, a tray of food in her hands. His face was expressionless, and hers, an attempted reassurement.  
They stood face to face in silence for awhile, not knowing what to say or do, but it was Kaoru who spoke first.  
"You haven't eaten in two days Kenshin...please eat..." Kaoru's voice was hoarse, and her eyes were tainted pink, a sign of frequent tears that slid down her porcelein skin.  
Kenshin didn't respond, his face lowered, not knowing what he should say at a time like this.  
"Please..."  
Kenshin still did not speak, but instead lifted his head, letting out a small, tired sigh, before turning his back.  
"Kenshin...?" Kaoru sounded pleading, on the brink of new tears.  
Instead of retreating the room like Kaoru had pressumed, Kenshin kneeled onto the ground and allowed Kaoru to place the tray in front of him. He ate slowly, and had to forcefully swallow every bite...because Kaoru did not have to suffer on his behalf.  
"Kenshin?"  
His food caught in a lump in his throat, but he swallowed it and decided that Kaoru didn't need the additional strain of worrying about him; and in a barely audible voice, he replied, "Hai?"  
"Kenshin...you were planning on leaving...you were going to go after Wolf yourself...weren't you? I can see it in your eyes..." Kaoru whispered. Her hands were delicately folded in her lap, and it took all of what was left of her restraint to prevent the tears from coming.  
Kenshin considered not responding, not telling her what he had found out, but those thoughts were immediately pushed into the back of his mind as his voice quivered in his response, "Yes... I know where Wolf is being held... I was going to slip out and go after him myself." Kenshin paused for a moment to see Kaoru's reaction, and was not surprised to see her crying, with a soft stream of salty tears trickling down her cheek.  
Kenshin continued warily, "I did not want to see you in danger Miss Kaoru, nor do I not want to see Aoshi-san or Sano get into anymore trouble than they already are in. All for my selfish desires..."  
"Kenshin..." Kaoru said between sobs, "We care for you, don't you know that? Wolf too. We all loved Wolf as much as you did. It would only make sense that we were to go with you... Let us go with you Kenshin... Let us all...go with you."  
With that Kaoru collapsed, the pain almost too much to bear, and Kenshin swept up to catch her in his arms. Tears lined his own eyes, as he brushed away the hair in Kaoru's face, letting her lie down in his lap. Kaoru smiled and touched her hand to his cheek, "Please Kenshin...?"  
Kenshin exhaled, and knew that he owed it to her, he owed it to everybody... "Alright."  
"Thanks Kenshin... This will be something to tell the baby, huh?" Kaoru asked tiredly, putting her hands to her belly.  
A tear dropped from Kenshin's eyes, splattering onto Kaoru's cheek, and he wiped it away with his index finger.  
"Oh, Kenshin?" Kaoru said, on the verge of sleep.  
Kenshin looked down at her, anticipating an elaboration.  
"I like how you put your hair up...you know, it really suits you Kenshin..." Kaoru yawned and closed her eyes.  
Kenshin's eyes grew wide, and a hand automatically went up to the back of his head. His long, red hair was up in a high ponytail, exactly how it was in the Battousai days.

------------  
  
Sanosuke huffed, and slumped onto the dojo's wooden platform outside, leaning against a wooden support.  
Sano wondered how much longer they would have to wait until they would go after Wolf. He wasn't sure how long the kid could hold off, and under what circumstances he was in. Better safe than sorry, really...  
But then again, Kenshin was going through a lot, and he really should give him some time off. Sano glanced down at his bandaged fists, and smirked, knowing that these very fists had gone against Shishio. Yea...he had been there. Sano himself had challenged Shishio after Kenshin, Saitoh, and Aoshi were taken down; he had charged right at that heartless bastard with fists held high. And had gotten knocked out, nearly dying from the incident.  
Sanosuke had no reason to regret the old memories that were coming back to him. Why should he? Sano was at peace with his past, and had found he could face what was to come without looking back. But maybe that was because he didn't have much to mourn...and there wasn't much that was coming back that Sano didn't know about. Kenshin on the other hand...  
As if on cue, Kenshin appeared, sliding open the paper door, an unreadable expression plastered onto his face. Sano gazed at his friend in silence, and noted that his hair was up in a high ponytail instead of tied at the nape of his neck as he usually did. Sano gaped, having never seen Kenshin with his hair up before, surprised to see that it gave a fierce edge to Kenshin's appearance.  
"Hey Kenshin!"  
"Yes?" Kenshin seemed wary and worn out as he replied.  
"Why do you have your hair up like that?"  
"Like what?" Kenshin gave Sano a confused look, mixed in with a bit of impatience.  
"Like that!" Sano emphasized his point with a wild gesture.  
Kenshin was silent, not even knowing why he had absently put his hair up like he had. He did not reply to Sano's question as he took it down, retying it as he usually did. He didn't want to tell Kaoru or Sano that he had worn it up in that style when he was the Battousai, and so, he avoided the question by simply saying, "Wolf is in Kyoto. Kaoru insists that we all go after him, including Aoshi, Misao, and Yahiko."  
Sano knew that Kenshin was intentionally changing the subject, and so he decided not to push the matter as he said instead, "Yahiko? That little squirt?"  
"Aa, would you be so kind as to -"  
"No need to, Himura." Kenshin was interrupted as Aoshi appeared just a couple feet away, calmly walking up to them, "I have already found a usuable steamship which will hold us all for the journey to Kyoto."  
Kenshin knew that Aoshi had his own ways of finding things out, and so he only nodded in agreement, "When will it leave?"  
Aoshi glanced at Kenshin briefly before replying, "Tomorrow morning."

------------  
  
Hiroji smirked as he saw Aoshi tell the Battousai when they would be leaving. He honestly did not think they would figure it out so quickly. The riddles should be more challenging next time, he noted in his mind for later reference. From his position on a branch in a nearby tree, Hiroji could find out things without being spotted or caught. Quite obvious, but sometimes the best hiding place was right under their noses.  
And better yet, the whole dojo was going with the Battousai. This certainly turned the tide in their favor. Although there were more opponents to deal with, there were more threats that could be made using the Battousai's allies and friends. Especially the woman...  
Hiroji smiled maliciously behind his mask and knew this would be a very interesting game...

------------  
  
It seemed the rain did want to lift up. There was a heavy downpour in the early morning when everybody was to leave for Kyoto. It was humid, and the air was so thick that it was sticky, making the clothes on everybody's back cling to their skin, despite the rain.  
Sano heaved a bag onto his shoulder, yelling for Yahiko to hurry up as the group departed slowly from the dojo. Kenshin had requested a carriage to transport Kaoru, Megumi, and Misao to the Tokyo docks, saying that it wasn't right for the women to walk all the way. Sano grunted as he lingered to wait for the painfully slowass kid catch up.  
The trip to the docks were uneventful, except for the fact that they were soaking wet and muddy by the time they had reached the steamship. Misao and Megumi had loaded some of their bags onto the ship already, and were waiting on board by the time the men showed up.  
"How long is the trip gonna be?" Yahiko asked as they walked up the platform onto the gray-painted boat.  
"Around three days, if the weather is in our favor," Aoshi replied, and went to claim a cabin for himself.  
Yahiko looked over the boat's railings into the vast, grey sea, noting the boat's name. _Nozomi_, hope.  
They were all clinging onto hope, he thought as the steamship pulled out of the port. The little hope that there was, they were all hanging onto it.

------------  
  
The best thing about boats was that you didn't have to do a damn thing; the worst part was that it was as boring as hell, Sano concluded into the first two hours of the journey. He countlessly found himself wandering the ship day in day out, not knowing what the hell he was supposed to do on this thing... Wandering from cabin to cabin and throwing the die around got old, and so, he soon found himself standing on the upper deck of the ship, staring at the waves that rippled in the sea; pointlessly staring at the raindrops pound on its surface. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear someone walk right up to him, and lean her elbows just inches away from his.  
"Bored?"  
Sano snapped out of his mind bubble, and found Megumi standing right next to him with an umbrella opened, "Eh?"  
"You must be bored, this is the fifth time I've caught you on this deck," she replied with a smirk on her lips.  
Sano found himself staring stupidly, and so he swiveled his head in the opposite direction, cheeks tinted with a faint blush, "Yes, I'm bored as hell, Fox. What does it matter to you?"  
Astonished to hear that there was no sassy response, Sano slowly turned his head in Megumi's direction, finding a hurt look in her eyes, "I- "  
"No, don't even say you're sorry Sano, because you don't mean it," Megumi whispered quietly, "The only reason I came is because Ken-san could easily acquire new injuries, and the baby could decide to come early, but other than that..."  
Megumi trailed off, and Sano looked at her in a perplexed manner, wondering what was going through her mind, "Listen Fox, you're more important than that, and you know it too. I think that anyone of us would easily give up our lives for you, so don't you even go damn saying that no one cares, because....because I know I do..."  
Megumi's ears could not believe what she was hearing, and her breath caught she listened to him continue.  
"I care a lot Fox... You've probably never known that. In fact I've cared enough that it's probably as close as I'll ever come to actual love... But...but you don't deserve me, because I'm just a street fighter and a free-loader..." Sano's voice faded away, bracing himself for rejection, bracing himself for the hard slap across his face that would bring him back to reality.  
Instead, he was surprised to feel a gentle, elogant hand on his cheek, and even more surprised to see himself face to face with Megumi, her face far from hostility.  
"It's about time," Megumi whispered, and leaned upwards, capturing his lips in hers.  
It took the fighter a moment to realize that Megumi felt the same way, but soon found his arms around her, holding her close to him, and promising to himself that he would always protect her.  
All the while, Megumi continued to hold the umbrella in her arms, shielding them both from the thudding rain that surrounded them.

------------  
  
Kenshin sat against the iron plated walls of his cabin, which he shared with Aoshi. Kaoru and Megumi shared one right next to theirs, and Yahiko and Sano roomed together, which probably wasn't too healthy. Misao had a room to herself, but she didn't complain.  
Kenshin stared at his Sakabato, which he held in his right hand. He didn't know what to think anymore, and he was having so many flashbacks and re-occuring memories that it became hard to distinguish between reality and the dream world.  
His vertical scar had bled continuously in the past day or two, and he did the best he could to hide it from the others. He didn't know why, but he was sure that the scar he had on his cheek was a symbol of something more important than just a battle scar. Much more important...  
As he sat there, his back becoming sore from being against the cold pane of the walls, his vertical scar began to bleed again. That was no surprise. But as he held up a ripped-off piece of his gi to his cheek, he realized that his horizontal scar was bleeding as well. Both bled to form a dripping cross that seemed freshly painted onto his face.  
Tomoe...  
----- Snow fell around him, an endless amount of white that fell from the gray, cloudy skies. Blood tinted the freshly fallen snow, its color now pink after soaking in the ice.  
Kenshin felt wounds all over him, on his back, shoulder, and chest, each flaring with pain. But the pain from his wounds could never compare with the pain he was feeling on the inside. Tomoe had betrayed him. His wife had betrayed him.  
Blood leaked from his eyes and ears, as if he were crying tears of blood. He was exhausted, fight after fight, explosion after explosion on the mountain had worn him out, and he was just about ready to give up. But the samurai in him, the assassin in him, told him to do this final battle, to fight until the very end. A fight until the death.  
His opponent stood there, with a smirk on his lips and a small knife in his hands. Tomoe's knife.  
And yet, the human in him did not want to fight. Wanted to collapse right there and then to die. Hell, he deserved to die. His sword strokes were sloppy and half-hearted, and in return he received blows to the face and punches to his abdomen.  
Kenshin doubled over in pain, coughing up blood, and breathing heavily from the loss of energy and blood. He looked at his right hand and tightened the grip on the sky-blue silk scarf that belonged to Tomoe, now soaked in his blood. Tomoe...  
He panted, his breath coming out in puffy mists in front of his face, deciding that it was time for one final charge. He was ready for death if it were to come for him.  
As he ran, he closed his eyes, as if charging right into the very pit of Hell. Thought after thought flooded into his mind,  
'I killed many men in order to safeguard the well being of the common man... But my idealism caused you to lose your love. I stole an important life from you... I did not know I had even done it.' The face of Tomoe's fiance flashed into his mind, an old memory not forgotten, 'I fell in love with you. I made promises, but I am not fit to protect you... Even though I....I...'  
In his mind's eye, time had stopped, and he was sitting in a peaceful field of red rose petals, which floated from above. Blood still ran down his face and body, but that did not matter as he felt Tomoe's hands on his eyes, covering them. Her soothing voice filled his head, replaying the relaxing life that he had shortly lived with her. The life that he would have loved to live, if he had begun it this way.  
He placed his hands on hers, and turned slowly around expecting to find her....but saw only darkness. Puzzled, he turned back around, and his breath caught to see the same graveyard that he had dug as a small child. The same red sun in the sky and the same graves surrounded him. Only...a new grave was added.  
Dead center, there was a new cross, its stakes crooked, and Kenshin gaped at the blue-sky scarf that was tied around it. Tomoe's...  
The red sky faded away as he was jerked back into reality. He felt his sword tear through flesh as his vicious lowercut sliced. His eyes had remained closed the whole time, and he felt Tomoe's scarf fly away in the wind, brushing against his face.  
He gradually opened his eyes to find the back of a woman...the back of Tomoe. He felt blood spray past him, and watched in horror as Tomoe fell to the ground, clutching her knife in her hands. He heard his opponent fall to the ground with a thud, but Kenshin did not pay any attention to him, he did not matter anymore...  
"TOMOE!!" Kenshin heard himself yell. His wife fell to the snow- crusted ground, blood heavily staining through her kimono. Her breathing came in small, irregular gasps as she desperately struggled to breathe. But she knew it was over...  
Tears came to Kenshin's eyes, never before knowing how much pain he could really feel all at once.  
"Tomoe...Tomoe..." he whispered, not wanting to believe that it was by his sword that she would die.  
Tomoe struggled to move, wincing in pain as she lifted her left hand, knife still in hand, and made a horizontal cut on his left cheek. Making her mark right next to her former fiance's, and leaving her presence engraved in Kenshin's memory.  
Kenshin allowed her to do so, and as she did, blood-tinted tears fell from his eyes, landing softly on her cheeks.  
"I'm so sorry...my darling..." she whispered, tears lining her eyelashes. She breathed in for one last time, and her hand fell limp onto the cold earth.  
Kenshin gasped, and began to sob as he held his lover in his arms, holding her close. His body shuddered ferociously as he cried with Tomoe in his embrace, devastation hitting him harder than anything he could have even imagined. He didn't know how long he sat there like this, all the time wishing that if he could sit in this mountain forever, that maybe Tomoe would come back. But she never could....and never would. -----  
It was as if he had forgotten to breathe. All life had been knocked out of him for those moments when memory came back to him. Tomoe... He loved her...he loved her more than anything in the world. And she was...gone...  
Kenshin was on all fours on the floor of his cabin, sweat, blood, and tears running down his face. He loved her... No, not past tense...present tense...he still loved her...  
He coughed up blood, and sloppily wiped it away as he sat back down, leaning his back against the wall again. Somehow he felt different. Remembering Tomoe opened a new door to the part of him he never knew he was. And now, he didn't know who he should be...  
His head pounded loudly in his ears like a devastating earthquake. Breathing heavily, he found a wash rag nearby and washed away his scar's blood and wiped his face clean. Both scars stubbornly continued to bleed, and he closed his eyes, wanting to sort out his thoughts and be alone for a couple of moments.  
However, the door of his cabin slammed, and his eyes flung open as he saw Misao standing in front of him, panting wildly, "Himura...Kaoru...she's gone...! Gensou...he kidnapped her!!"  
Kenshin stared at Misao blankly for a few painstaking seconds before replying in a confused voice, "Kaoru...? Who's Kaoru?"

------------


	11. the battousai

Author's Notes: hey guys! wow, long time, ne? sorry about that! i haven't updated for various reasons: a) internet breakdown, b) being busy, c) life... haha, bad excuses, but i'm sorry! i haven't been ignoring anyone! i especially want to thank Lady Battousai for her consistant persistance and undying loyalty, this chappie's for you!!!

Disclaimer: "dis-" coming from the latin prefix, "to disagree" and "claim" meaning "to say that something is true or is a fact, although you cannot prove it and other people might not believe" and "-er" being the suffix that allows the word "disclaimer" to be a noun. Thus forming the word, "disclaimer." Wow.

------------chap. 11 - the battousai"WHAT?!" Misao screamed, apparently unamused at whatever joke Himura was pulling, "How can you forget your own WIFE?! What kind of SICK, DEMENTED JOKE IS THIS HIMURA?!"  
Kenshin remained quiet, and Misao had to admit, Kenshin did have the kind of expression on his face that would imply that he very well didn't know who Kaoru was. Misao almost believed him for a split second before shaking her head roughly and continued to yell, "WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?!"  
"Shut up."  
Misao automatically went quiet, stunned at the calm and uncaring tone that had escaped Himura's lips. It was one thing for him to forget who Kaoru was, and it was another thing for him to be rude, but it was a completely different thing for him to have that quality in his voice, especially in a time like this. What was happening to him...?  
"Kenshin...are you alright...?" Misao whispered quietly.

-----------  
  
Kenshin's face and tone remained completely calm and coherent, unsure of who this teen was talking about. Kaoru... He rolled the name in his mind around a bit, thinking hard on the matter. He couldn't exactly recall anyone he knew by that name...but there was another part of him that knew the person and the name well. And that she was an important person to him.  
But up to a certain point, his memories just couldn't come together. After that, they seemed to loose all sense and logic, like the swirling grains of sand tossed in the unpredictable wind. There were small glimpses and fragments, but the whole puzzle just refused to fall into place.  
"Kenshin!"  
Kenshin looked up and saw a tall man dressed in completely in white stand at the door of the cabin, his hand readjusting the red bandana on his forehead. Next to him, Kenshin saw an aristocratic woman dressed in an elaborate kimono, a worried expression plastered on to her face.  
He stared up at the group before him, trying to piece two and two together. But it wouldn't piece, it wouldn't work. The spikey-haired man he knew he could trust, both as a friend and as an ally. The woman he knew had helped him in many situations, and he owed a lot to her.  
The teenager in a skimpy ninja outfit...he could trust her...to a certain extent.  
But even as he put together these small details, he couldn't recall their names, or where he was. Nor why.  
A blacked-haired man waltzed into the room with a boy dressed in yellow and brown by his side, his expression unreadable. Kenshin spotted the Kodachi poking out of his trenchcoat, and without thinking, his hand automatically went to his sword around his waist, a hard, solid grip grasping its hilt, crouching into an offensive stance. He did not unsheath it, but he kept a tight clasp on it, knowing that this man could pose a threat. Just from the looks of it, Kenshin knew he was a skilled swordsman, and would be a strong and formidable opponent if he were ever to go up against him. But somewhere in the back of his mind, Kenshin knew that he could trust this man; there seemed to be no hostile aura around him. Just as he was about to loosen his hold on his Sakabato, the spikey- haired man in white grabbed Kenshin by the collar and hauled him two feet into the air,  
"KENSHIN! What's wrong with you?! Why they HELL don't you give a DAMN about what's happened to Kaoru?!"  
"Put me down."  
Sano blinked slowly; the tone of Kenshin's voice had no anger in it, but was said in a way that would make it horribly unwise to refuse. Slowly, Sano lowered Kenshin to the ground, loosened the grip on Kenshin's clothes, and warily took a couple steps back. What the hell's goin' on...?  
Kenshin gazed at the group in front of him, a certain level of recognition and consciousness in his eyes. But it was also plain to see that to an extent, Kenshin didn't know who they were.  
"Kenshin! C'mon, you've gotta snap out of it!" the boy yelled, a look of frustration on his face.  
Kenshin's brows furrowed, and the cloudy confusion in his head thickened, trying to remember...

------------  
  
"Kaoru!!" Misao chirpped merrily to her bed-stricken friend, "How's the headache? Better?"  
Kaoru's face still seemed a bit flushed, but she nodded, replying, "Yes, it's much better now. Sheesh, I don't know what's going to be worse, the nine months of pregnancy or the actual labor!" Kaoru laughed nervously, trying to lighten the mood, but her constant worry over Kenshin kept her mind far from carefree.  
Misao sensed the uneasiness in Kaoru's mind, and attempted to distract her, "Hey, how about we get some fresh air? Let's go up on deck! Maybe we can visit the captain and ask to see how the boat works! Like I don't know, in the engine room or whatever it's called."  
Kaoru paused for a slight moment, residing on the thought before she agreed by putting a strained smile on her face and dragging herself out of bed. With a bit of Misao's help.  
Up on deck, there was a small drizzle. Rain. It hadn't stopped in days. Kaoru began to wonder when it ever would stop. When all this greyness and blackness would come to a halt, and the beautiful sun would shine again. But maybe it was useless to dream...  
Misao had brought a pastel pink umbrella with her, holding it above both of their heads, protecting them from the light rain; delicate and detailed cherry blossoms were expertly painted onto its surface. When would she smell the cherry blossoms again...?  
Making their way around the stern of the ship, they spotted Megumi and Sano, deeply engrossed in a profound conversation. Sano turned away from Megumi, a look of sweet sorrow on his face, but both girls let out a small, surpressed giggle when Megumi placed her hand on his cheek and kissed him. Sano was clearly surprised, but he deepened the kiss, and Kaoru and Misao found it better to take the longer route to the captain's steering.  
"Awww, wasn't that so sweet?!" Misao exclaimed when they were out of earshot.  
Kaoru nodded in agreement and noted, "It's about time too, those two have been lovesick puppies for so long, and if they hadn't gotten a move on themselves, I would've done something myself."  
Misao giggled, and thought about how Sano and Megumi had been denying and ignoring their own feelings as well as the other's for so long. It was really cute at times, the way they argued so "lovingly," but Misao had to admit, it was annoying that they didn't do something. Kaoru was right...it was about time.  
"Kinda like you and Aoshi..." Kaoru murmured, half to Misao, half to herself.  
"What?!"  
"OooOOOoooOO, I struck a nerve there, didn't I Misao?" Kaoru smiled brightly, and waved both of her hands in front of her, as if to dismiss the question altogether.  
"If you weren't pregnant, Kaoru, I'd chase you through the ship then bonk you on the head!" Misao joked.  
Kaoru smiled slyly, and opened her mouth to mention Misao and Aoshi's relationship when suddenly a small dart struck her neck.  
Kaoru's pupils dilated, then shrunk, her eyes almost an empty, pearly white. Misao gasped, frozen to the spot with shock and fear. And before she could scream or react altogether, there was a swift blur of a human figure, and within seconds, Kaoru was gone.

------------  
  
Misao clenched her throwing knives in her hands, cursing madly under her breath at her clumsiness, and knowing all to well that it was too late. How could she have just stood there? How the hell could she have been so careless...?  
Her heartbeat was painfully loud in her chest, and she could have sworn that anyone would have been able to hear it. She had to tell Kenshin...  
Without thinking, she dropped the umbrella on the deck and ran. With her long braid flipping behind her in the wind, she ran as fast as she could.  
The umbrella lolled on its side awhile in the dripping rain, before coming to a stop when a miniscule throwing knife pierced its fabric, a sturdy roll of parchment tied to its tip.

------------  
  
Millions of thoughts and possibilities ran through her mind like a train careening down a hill. All this running through her head while she continued to sprint towards Himura and Aoshi-sama's cabin. She spotted Sano and Megumi and only ran past them as they stared after her in disbelief. Who would run at breakneck speed on the slippery deck?  
"Misao, what's wrong?" Megumi asked at Misao's running figure.  
"Kaoru! Gone! Need tell! Kenshin!" Misao's fragmented sentences came in huffs as she tumbled towards the narrow stairs towards the lower deck cabins.  
Who would kidnap Kaoru? Numerous things went through Misao's mind before she cursed loudly at herself for her absentmindedness. Who else would it be?! Damn, she needed to get her thinking straight. For damn's sake, who else were they chasing after?! What was his name...?!  
"ARGH!" Misao yelled through gritted teeth, her frustration level hitting its highest.  
Gensou! That was it! Shit, but how could he even kidnap her when they were even in the middle of the sea?! For the uncountable time that day, Misao cursed again, and told herself that she should've looked for any boats or rafts before making the run down to tell Kenshin.  
But he would want to know first.  
She just hadn't counted on him forgetting Kaoru.

------------  
  
_Kaoru..._ Through the thick chaotic feelings he was experiencing now, Kenshin felt the emotions that were tied with this name. Love, true happiness, contentment, fulfillment...and then there were worries, pain...loss... It was much like the feelings he had experienced when Tomoe died. His curiosity desperately wanted to remember this Kaoru, but at the same time, scared to reopen old wounds.  
"Where am I?" he whispered softly.  
Sano took a breath before responding, "We just left from the Tokyo city harbor, we're on our way to Kyoto."  
Kyoto. Kenshin should be there. For different reasons that he could not place his finger on. But, the other city name...  
"Tokyo?" The name was unfamiliar and yet, importantly familiar.  
Aoshi stared at Himura for a moment before guessing what Kenshin was searching for, "Tokyo is the new name for Edo."  
'Hold on...' Sano thought, 'If Kenshin knows the old name for Tokyo, and not the new one, then that means that he's forgotten his Kenshin Himura side! He's just lost a decade of recent memories after rediscovering his old ones. Shit, that means...I'm not talking to Kenshin Himura, I'm talking to the Hitokiri Battousai! Damn, I'm lucky he didn't slice me into a million pieces when I grabbed him...! Well, that must mean that he...kind of...remembers...us...'  
But yet, the look on Kenshin's face didn't imply that he remembered.

------------  
  
In the rush that Kaoru had been swept away into, her hair came undone from its tight-knotted ribbon, raven hair waterfalling past her shoulders as she was carried away. The navy silk ribbon fluttered in the wind, before laying to rest on the throwing knife near the pink umbrella.  
Pools of water puddles gathered around the umbrella, water soaking through the threads of the ribbon and slipping down the slick surface of the throwing knife. The drizzle soon turned into a thudding rain, drops heavily splattering onto the boat's upper decks.  
Megumi dragged Sano over to where she assumed Misao and Kaoru were standing moments before. She lowered her iris-decorated umbrella to pick up the damp ribbon and attempt to pull out the throwing knife, finding that it was stuck in too far for her strength to pull it out. She clenched her teeth, but turned to the smirking Sano who pulled the knife out with ease, holding it so Megumi could untie the small roll of parchment.  
She unrolled it and kept a monotonous expression on her face as she read through it. Rolling it back up, she nodded towards Sano, both understanding the conversation they were having without words. There were no need for words.  
Handing her umbrella to the fighter, she picked up the pastel-pink umbrella and closed it.  
With nothing said between them, they followed the panicking Misao to Kenshin.

------------  
  
Kaoru. Such an important person to Kenshin, and yet he could hardly remember her name. Megumi vaguely wondered if it were possible for him to remember. Perhaps he just needed something, a reminder of her. This made things all the more complicated since Kaoru was gone, and there was almost nothing that could help Kenshin remember.  
_He's remembering and forgetting...forgetting and remembering...he doesn't know where it starts and ends, begins and stops..._  
Suddenly, Megumi remembered the damp ribbon she had that she had found on the upper decks near Misao's umbrella. Unfurling it, she approached Kenshin hesitantly, not wanting to get on the Battousai's bad side. _It was amazing that the Battousai was even apart of Kenshin.  
_ "Ken-san..." Megumi whispered softly, "Please remember..." Gently, she took Kenshin's right hand and tied the wet, silk ribbon around his arm, hoping that he would, to some degree, recognize it.  
Kenshin gazed at the damp cloth around his arm and his eyes widened as memories flowed back to him. It was a trecherous current that struck him as hard as a sword's blow. Breathless, he felt his scars bleed as ferociously as ever as imperceptible scenes crashed as hard as the thudding drops of rain. Sano, Aoshi, Misao, Megumi, Yahiko...Kaoru... But there was more. Blood baths, and full moons of revolution. Dead victims, rivers of blood...going into hiding....Tomoe....  
Scenes flashing, beginning and ending as soon as it had come. And suddenly, a memory came back to him, the memory that had started this living Hell...  
  
----- "I want to forget...everything in my past..." Kenshin said quietly. Suddenly his striking violet eyes went wide, not believing that he had actually agreed to her folly request. What was she going to do anyways? What power did a child have?  
As if in answer, the girl smirked and her eyes glowed. Glowed a ferocious gold that shimmered and shone, nearly blinding Kenshin as he put his hands up to shield his eyes. Her heavy black hair had begun to rise, forming a halo around her petite head. Kenshin noticed the noise of the market faded away, as did the rest of the visible world. The only people seemingly left in the world were Kenshin and this little girl. Kenshin's surroundings were pitch black, save for the spotlight-like light that illuminated the young girl, still sitting on the same stool.  
The girl seemed to be in a trance, staring at nothing, but suddenly her head jerked upward, eyes boring into Kenshin's mind. Kenshin gasped, pain flowing through his head, images flashing before his eyes. His whole life...starting from present and working its way backwards. Every detail. It was as if it were an open book, and the girl was reading it, scrutinizing it, tearing out the pages that were unnessecery, pages that were filled with despair and pain. Filling in needed pages, adding and editing. Her eyes dimmed a bit as she finished up and whispered hauntedly, "Kenshin Himura, the Battousai no more..." Her hoarse voice dimmed away, and Kenshin opened his eyes, the pain had passed, and felt the darkness sink away, replaced with the regular hustle of the market. The tent was no longer there, instead stood an empty space. -----  
  
When it was all over, Kenshin found himself on his knees, his shoulders violently shuddering at the emotional turmoil that wracked his mind, his eyes shut tight. No tears flowed, for he wasn't sure he knew how to cry anymore. This was beyond tears.  
He could remember and forget just as easily as that. As easy as a flash of light. Subtle memories that could come and fade as quickly as the setting sun. What would he know what to believe or think? If he couldn't remember who anyone was, how was he to make sure no one would get hurt?  
Lingering memories remained in his mind as he attempted to shut out what he could, distancing himself from anything and everything.  
He winced slightly as a warm, gentle hand was placed on his shoulder.

------------  
  
Yahiko didn't understand what was completely going through Kenshin's head. He couldn't even understand what was going through his own head. This whole time Yahiko had always felt like he had never really been apart of anything. Just a stupid kid getting dragged into a "big ordeal" that he was assumed to not know about. He was "too young." But what was happening to Kenshin wasn't something he deserved...was it?  
But as Kenshin's calm face turned into confusion, Yahiko began to worry about him. How could he forget Kaoru? The first most important person in his life? Kenshin was playing no joke, Yahiko knew that. This was Kenshin after all.  
However, Yahiko felt powerless and useless as Megumi tied Kaoru's ribbon around Kenshin's wrist, and could only watch as Kenshin seemed to go into a state of shock, his eyes widening and his pupils shrinking, his face reflecting far more emotion that could be comprehended. _He's remembering...  
_ Yahiko could hardly hear the gasp coming from his own mouth as Kenshin slumped onto the floor on his knees, sweat pouring down his face. Blood flowing from the two scars that were marked on his face far long ago. How could they bleed now? Yahiko involuntarily stepped back a few strides, and could not fight the sick sensation swimming in his stomach. But yet, as whatever Kenshin was experiencing in his mind ended, Yahiko wanted to let Kenshin know that, whether it be commited sins or deemable accomplishments, Yahiko still looked up to him as a hero, and to a certain extent, a father.  
And so, he hesitantly took a few steps forward, wanting to comfort Kenshin, but not fully knowing how. Pitifully, he placed his hand on his shoulder, wanting to take his suffering away and end the pain. And without warning, he stepped in front of Kenshin and flung his arms around Kenshin's neck, hoping, praying that everything would turn out alright.  
"What's wrong Kenshin...?" Yahiko's muffled words could barely be heard, as his face was buried in Kenshin's shoulders.  
"Yahiko..."  
Yahiko pulled himself from Kenshin, and looked at Kenshin's face, seeing a clear consciousness in his eyes. Kenshin remembered. He remembered everything.  
Kenshin remained quiet and detached from the rest of the world, despite the recognition he had. Cold sweat still clung to his skin, and the painful expression pasted on his face shrouded the true thoughts in his mind.  
Megumi sighed, and stared at the parchment in her hand from the throwing knife. Kenshin didn't need the extra burden of what the message had to say, but Megumi felt a slight obligation; that Kenshin had the right to know what had happened to Kaoru. Tentavely, she stepped forward, and handed Kenshin his fate.

------------


	12. osaka to kyoto

Author's Notes: ahaha, i juss read over the last chapter and i realized that that WAS a really bad cliffie for u guys...hahaha...gomen, gomen!! errr, but i'm back, and to those who are keeping up, thanx so much! well, i hope u guys like this chapter, and feedback is greatly appreciated!

Disclaimer: dun own...dun own...ZZZzzz...

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chap. 12 - osaka to kyoto  
  
Words did not escape Kenshin's lips as Megumi solemnly handed him a small, tightly rolled scroll. And as he unfurled it to read its contents, dead silence hung in the air. When he read the words printed on its surface, there was hardly as much as a breath that filled the spacious air.

_Silver rain dribbles from the wisp clouds that forever fill the red sky,_

_ Clear, crisp drops that tingles and pinches the skin,_

_ just as a sword._

_ Pure, opalescent drops that trickle down _

_the leathery texture of an emerald leaf,_

_ through every vein and tear, gently caressing its surface._

_ The moist aroma of irises perfuming the air with its fragrance,_

_while the smoke of Western engineering pollutes it._

_ Through blood-soaked air, life continued to live,_

_ and die._

_Disatisfaction bubbled forth revolution,_

_ while all the while, the crane cackles in the distance._

_ Peace._

_As fragile as the most insignificent twig,_

_ easily crushed by rue hopes and actions._

_Old traditions forgotten,_

_ just as the radiant iris._

_ The thrashing stream of modernity washes_

_away the glossy pebbles of a thousand years._

_ Humans; tigers that are turned against eachother,_

_never on the same side._

_ But now, in this fresh, vast jungle, _

_ known as the bitter war,_

_the hunters are often the hunted._

_ Thunder cracks through the silence, _

_as the sword spills crimson-sweet blood._

The boat rocked with the rough waves that had begun to escalate in the wide open sea. Kenshin did not read the words twice, not wanting to understand the deeper meaning the writer had woven into the profound tapestry of tradition and current events. And as he finished the last lines of the poem, as if on cue, thunder roared as the boat took a violent dip into the large waves. A thunderstorm. As if they did not have enough troubles already. A thunderstorm may slow them down a few hours, if not days.  
Aoshi wondered what was going through Himura's head, and if it was as really as unbearable as his expression read. Aoshi snorted impatiently and with a quick stride, he was out the door of the cabin. A small voice buried within Aoshi's head told him that he should be helping Himura, in some way, shape, or form, but Aoshi couldn't help but feel digust at the way Himura was handling the recent events. He was being sensitive to the issue, and sitting around moping and doing nothing would accomplish little.  
'Ah, but yet you have sat around moping and doing nothing...' a voice in Aoshi's head contradicted, 'All this while you've been hiding behind that solid mask of self-loathing, feeling sorry for yourself. Sorry that you could never prove what you wanted to prove to the Oniwa Banshu. Meditating and covering what you truly feel. That especially isn't fair to Misao...'  
'Shut up...shupt up...' Aoshi told himself, but he knew, that this voice, this inner-conscience, was completely right, that he had been hiding for so long that it had naturally become apart of him. And perhaps it would have to slowly shred away. Shred away into a million pieces so that the true Aoshi Shinomori would be revealed...and known.

------------  
  
It was all too easy... Too easy, in fact, that it made Hiroji's mind tremble in doubt. Perhaps he had completely outdone himself on the riddle, and revealed too much. Perhaps the Battousai did not deserve all the suffering they were bringing him. Perhaps...it was just going too far. Immediately, Hiroji shook his head fiercely to rid himself of the thought. Was that pity he just felt for the Battousai? How could he pity a ruthless killer that had slain many during the revolution? _Show no emotion,_ feel _no emotion, and that is the fighter that triumphs._ His mind vibrated on the philosophy he had been taught as a warrior.  
The boat rocked underneath his feet as Hiroji went to check on his prisoner. They hadn't even noticed the small steamship Hiroji had hijacked, to follow them into sea and wait for the right moment to strike. Slowly opening the door, Hiroji couldn't help but feel awed at the aura of the woman sleeping in the barracks. When she was asleep, she had no look of stress in her eyes and seemed at peace. Her body rose and fell with each breath, a hand was instinctively placed on her swollen belly. Her long onyx hair fell in glistening sheets, and Hiroji snapped himself to reality as he left the room, clumsily closing the door behind him.  
_Know not your enemy, for the deep-rooted knowledge of character ties you to guilt.  
_ Hiroji cursed under his breath. If these emotions kept flooding him in perpetual waves, it would get in his way, and toy with his ability to properly reason.  
_Feel nothing._

_------------  
_  
Silence haunted the steamship that held Kenshin's company. It was empty nothingness that hung in the air and made it thick with anxiousness. None of them dared to utter a word, for fear that it would break the eery atmosphere that shrouded them. It was a respectful fear.  
But, even if uneasiness clung, there was pain mixed in with every bit of it. Suffering tormented each passenger, each in its own despicable, torturing way. Some of them were eagerly waiting for the boat trip to end, to pull up into the Osaka Harbor and stop the nagging feeling of anguish in the air. But it was a bitter sweet eagerness.  
Others just didn't know whether they wanted the trip to end...or for it to keep going, so as they could rot away in this place...this bottemless pit that seemed so much like Hell.  
But perhaps, deep within the chambers of their minds, a small whisper of a voice told them that everything had to come to an end. And so, on the black morning when the steamship pulled into the Osaka Harbor, each passenger shuffled onto the upper deck, mind overflowing with his or her own thoughts.

------------  
  
_Everything was gone..._ Everything had been ripped away from him, torn out from his heart... No, even worse, his heart had been ripped out and eaten while it was still beating. Kenshin felt like an empty shell, his soul long gone; gone way back when this whole mess had started. There was nothing left...not even a shred of what he thought he was.  
Because everyone had been reticent during the trip, Kenshin had an infinite amount of time to think. Time to think about himself, and what he had left. And Kenshin could barely conjure up just one reason why he should go on living. But then the thought struck him, struck him like the thunder that forked through the pitch black sky. He, in fact, had two reasons to go on living: Wolf and Kaoru. Kaoru... He had lost Tomoe, and he refused to lose Kaoru as well.  
The air was thick with humid air, and everybody trailed down the platform onto the Osaka Harbor docks. One could barely see his feet walk in front of him, and it took them awhile to gather their things together and find the trail that would lead them to Kyoto.  
"Oi! You're Aoshi Shinomori, ne?! Chotto matte!" a man yelled from behind them, shattering their fragile thoughts.  
Aoshi turned, his defenses alert as his eyes narrowed into sheer expression of a samurai whose patience is not easily tested. And at the same time, Kenshin had whirled around, his hand instinctively going to the hilt of his Sakabato; his eyes glimmering gold amber in a death glare.  
The man, startled deathly pale over this reaction to such a mild gesture, automatically stepped backwards two steps, the look on his face inferring that he was about to faint clean on the spot.  
"Hey, Kenshin! What are you doing?!" Yahiko yelled, bewildered at Aoshi and Kenshin's appalling behaivor.  
Kenshin's eyes widened slightly as he realized that this man was no enemy. Aoshi's gaze also relaxed as Yahiko's voice penetrated his confused throughts, nodding at the man to go on with what he was about to say earlier.  
"Ehh...h-here," the man stuttered fearfully, handing Aoshi a scroll, then bowing sloppily before spiraling around and running as fast as he could in the opposite direction.  
Aoshi unfurled the scroll and read aloud, "Got to make this quick, the train leaves in a couple of minutes. We're going on a short trip to Beijing, should help us relax a bit. The Aoiya welcomes you if you should need it. Okina."  
"Beijing of all places...I told him we were coming to Kyoto..." Aoshi muttered under his breath. Misao gave Aoshi a nervous side-glance before saying cheerily, "Tehe, we should get a move on! I'm sure we're all tired from the trip, and we could use a good rest!"  
"You mean you need the rest, Weasel Girl, we don't," Sano said curtly before claiming two carriages for their company.  
Misao scowled as she followed the group towards the awaiting carriages.  
Within the first carriage, there was thoughtful silence that filled the air, as its inhabitants were Kenshin, Aoshi, and Sano. Each one of them pondering numerous thoughts. Where would they find Wolf and Kaoru in a big city such as Kyoto? Where were they? How were they being treated? With each passing minute, Kenshin grew anxious with worry, these thoughts plaguing his mind.  
Sano, however, was thinking of the time they had traveled down this very road, fighting their own little war against Shishio, not so long ago. But now, the stakes were raised, and there was as much to lose as there was to gain.  
The second carriage was a bit more lively, as Misao continued to tease Megumi about what she had seen on the boat, causing Megumi to blush crimson. Anything to talk about that would lighten the mood. There was so much angst on the boat ride to Osaka, that Misao could barely take it anymore, and had to find anyway to joke around again.  
"You're teasing me about Sano, eh? Well," Megumi said thoughtfully, "how about you and Aoshi...?"  
Misao went suddenly silent as Megumi put her hand over her mouth to surpress a laugh.  
"I knew I should've been in the other carriage, this is all girl talk," Yahiko muttered wildly under his breath.  
Misao smacked him on the back of the head as she said, "...Yeah? What about Aoshi-sama?"  
"When are you going to confess?" Megumi asked, playing her words carefully.  
"...W-what do you mean?" Misao said, deciding to play dumb.  
"Don't play dumb," Yahiko retorted, "Even I know what's going on between you and Aoshi, so make a move already."  
Misao didn't say a word as she stared out the window of the carriage, watching the buildings and stores go by, "...I would...except..."  
Megumi and Yahiko leaned in closer to hear Misao's barely audible words,  
"..There's so much going on with him, and...I don't know...I really want him to open up, and show the world what he's really like, because, I know that Aoshi-sama isn't always that cold, even if he acts like that most of the time..."  
Yahiko snorted, and Megumi banged her fist on his head as she responded, "But think about it... That 'coldness' that Aoshi always has...it's like a mask. Because he had to take over the Oniwa Banshu at the age of fifteen, he had to build that mask in order for him to be respected... Kind of like the Rurouni mask Kenshin has... He's always had that mask on...don't you think it's now become a part of him? And you're asking him to change and open up...it's like asking for him to tear away years' worth of shielding his emotions. Maybe you've got to try to accept him as he is..."  
Misao stared blankly at Megumi, trying to absorb the profoundness that she had just spoken.  
"That's so corny, I could puke," Yahiko remarked, before getting a slap from both women straight across each cheek, resulting in two red hand- prints.  
Yahiko's cheeks continued to sting as he stepped out of the halting carriage in front of the Aoiya. He gazed up at the newly reconstructed restaurant, and had to admire how much better it looked, considering the last time he saw it was when it was literally torn down from when they faced and fought against the Juppongatana.  
Deciding that they were all equally exhausted, both mentally and physically, from the trip to Kyoto, everybody hesitantly decided to take the remainder of the day off. Settled in one of the rooms overlooking the restaurant's courtyard, Kenshin vaguely wondered how he would find Wolf and Kaoru before falling into a fitful sleep.

------------  
  
Cold drops of rain splattered her cheek as she moaned, her eyes blinking rapidly in an attempt to awaken from the black slumber she had been tossed into. Finding herself slung over the shoulders of someone, she struggled to scream, and found that she couldn't. No matter how much she willed her mouth to open, her voice to sound, she couldn't. She was paralyzed in her own body.  
"Ah, I see that you're awake...good. I appreciate the timing, Gensou wishes to see you now," the man said diligently, his voice carrying to her ears. And with that, she found herself being lowered to the wooden floorboards in front of another man whose back was turned.  
She flinched as she reached for the barely visible dart wound on her neck. She could still feel the paralyzing affect even with the absense of the dart.  
"Aaahh, the Battousai's woman," the man's voice declared as he turned around.  
Kaoru gasped as she saw for the first time, the man who had pushed them into this wormhole of chaos. His black hair was short and unruly, cleary disregarded and unkept. Years of pain were clearly chisled into his face, inferring that his past made up who he was, just as everybody's past makes up their present. His wide, pitch-black eyes had pools of anxiousness and sadness in them, swimming around in endless clusters of confusion, making his mood unpredictable and unreadable.  
The masked man who had carried her was no where to be seen, and as Kaoru was about to faint in weariness, Gensou spoke,  
"I'm sure you're worrying about many things. Why we are doing this, and what is about to happen. There are many things I could tell you, but I can garuntee you, that you do not want to hear any of it. I am also sure you're wondering if the poison Hiroji struck you with will have any effect on your unborn child -" Gensou gestured to Kaoru's stomach and her eyes widened in fear and dispair.  
"- However, maybe above all, you worry of Wolf and his condition. Because I am feeling very considerate, I will allow you to see him, and in fact, I will allow you to room with him...maybe this will prove to our advantage." And with that, Gensou snapped his fingers, bringing Hiroji to the room to carry Kaoru to Wolf.  
Kaoru struggled to breathe as Hiroji opened the fusuma of another room, lowering her to the ground for a second time that day and saying almost sympathetically, "The poison will wear off in a couple of hours..." Then turning his back and sharply pulling the door to a slamming shut.  
The last thing Kaoru saw was a minute blonde head hovering over her body before giving into the dark unconsciousness.

------------  
  
The soft dirt beneath his feet was soft because of the endless amount of rain that still continued to pour onto Japan. It was still early in the morning, and the sun had not yet broken over the horizon. Perhaps he would never see the sun, because of the black clouds that engulfed him.  
Walking slowly down the streets of Kyoto, Kenshin decided that he would push aside all thoughts, other than the one goal he had to accomplish: rescue Kaoru and Wolf. Afterwards, he concluded, he would worry about his own welfare. Up until now, he had always been pondering his own situation and attempting to sort it out. And all it had done was delay their efforts to find Kaoru and Wolf.  
Yet...it was dificult, because...there were times when Kenshin felt that he just couldn't remember who he was...and all he could remember was the time during the Bakumatsu. The time...when he was a skilled assassin, whose only purpose was to kill in order to help bring in a new government for Japan. But he had to try...for Kaoru.  
Kenshin glanced at the ribbon that remained tied around his wrist. He needed it as a portal to his recent memory, a portal to the present day Meiji.  
Kenshin felt frustration tug at him as he wondered where in all of Kyoto Kaoru and Wolf could be. Finding that his legs had carried him to the Kyoto police station, Kenshin felt a familiar aura, and was immediately drawn to the station.  
Just as he was about to reach the entrance, Kenshin saw a spark of a match that lit the cigarrette in front of a man's face... And all of a sudden, something immediately clicked in his mind, his voice instinctively whispering,  
"Saitoh..."

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	13. unexpected meetings

Author's Note: Well, here I am again. Where hast everyone goneth? I feel sad now...one minute everyone's here and now everyone's, well...not here...

Ummm, I'll do my best to update as soon as I can, as classes have started up again. Sad, ain't it?

Gothic Misery/Lady Battousai/any other name you will be giving yourself in the future: errr, i'm not sure what you mean by what you said...errr, after you upload it, you can do all that previewing stuff has changed it so much now...it's getting kinda annoying) and then you go to "edit story" and then update...err...forgive me if I'm not any help, but uhh...if you still dunno what to do just leave another message and be specific, i guess. sorry i haven't gotten back to you until now, but my internet crashed and then I went on vacation so...yeah... those are my pitiful excuses. sorry.

Disclaimer: The only thing that belongs to me right now is this screwed-up computer.

(Note: I really don't like this "horizontal rule" they've got me using here, but as they won't let me use my tildas or dashes anymore...I'm stuck with this pathetic looking line as a separator. Again, I apologize.)

* * *

chap. 13 - unexpected meetings

The flare from the cigarrette tip ignited a fiery red as it glinted in the blackness, briefly illuminating a lean face with high cheekbones before fading back into the darkness. The man exhaled a large puff of smoke, which extinguished as it made its way upwards towards the rainy sky. His voice was but a hiss of rancor, consisting of a single word,  
"Battousai..."

They stood in the darkness for a few moments, resisting the urge to pull out their weapons and finish the battle they had so long ago started. The odd feeling in the atmosphere made them withdraw, and hesitate to what the other had to say before acting rashly.

It was Kenshin who decided to break the silence by speaking first, "So long ago we met...and now we meet again... Tell me, what brings you to Kyoto?"

Saitoh snorted at Kenshin's remark and huffed before responding, "I'm amazed you remember. Days I've wandered these streets, so accustomed to just being a part of a high-ranking secret police, and suddenly, I'm not who I thought I was. Tell me, Battousai, what the hell was running through your mind when you decided you could just rewrite history? What kind of self-consumed bastard were you? Or shall I say...still are?"

Kenshin did not know how to respond, for he might as well be that self-consumed bastard Saitoh claimed him to be, so he chose his words carefully, "There are many ways I could respond to that, Saitoh. But for now, I am not sure of the answer, that I am not. For now...all that matters...is finding - "

"Your woman and that kid," Saitoh finished for him, holding his cigarrette delicately between his fingers. With that, he turned his back, assuming that Kenshin would follow now that he had his attention, walking into the station.

The station was musty and had a misty scent to it, pressumably from the remains of the rain. Saitoh monotonously walked up to the station's counter, placing his rapidly-dying cigarrette into his mouth before vanishing behind a door to find something or another.

Kenshin took in his surroundings as he stood by the counter, keeping a weary eye for any tricks Saitoh might pull. Kenshin had all rights to suspect the former Shinsen Gumi captiain, and as muffled footsteps sounded behind him, he, by instinct, drew his Sakabato, his stance all ready for any attack that may come his way.

The former captain sniffed, and threw old packets of paper onto the counter, making dust fly up in every direction, "No need for that Battousai, this is the Meiji Era that you Hitokiris have brought about, and besides, there is no need to rush the journey to Hell." He glared profusely at Kenshin as he sheathed his sword, taking a long drag of his cigarrette before saying,  
"Your woman and the kid are being held at the old Shima compound towards north Kyoto -"

"I thought that place was abandoned," Kenshin remarked, not entirely in the mood to use good manners.

"It is, which made it entirely complicated to track down, now, as I was saying -"

"Why are you helping us?" Kenshin asked, the question slipping out of his mouth like yolk seeps out of a cracked egg.

Saitoh's breath smelled of old tabacco and spicy air as he exhaled another puff of his cigarrette, the look on his face entirely unreadable, as if he was disgusted with the very thought of helping his formery advisary. There was silence for a heartbeat, before Saitoh icedly responded,

"The man that stole off your woman, Gensou Katsukawa, he may have other plans that involve not only killing you, but government-related issues. He has only been a small speck of the secret police's concern, and so we have not bothered with his case. Therefore, by bringing you into the picture, we shall see who is helping who."

Silence filled the air once more, before Saitoh again spoke up,

"Here are the floor plans of the compound, as well as estimated guard posts. However, Gensou may have altered the facility, and so this could be horribly damn off." 

Saitoh threw down a thick, rolled-up parchment, before turning his back to leave Kenshin.

"Why don't you assist us Saitoh? This would speed up the process by a great deal," the red-haired man proposed.

Saitoh halted his walk, but didn't turn around as he replied, "There is but a small whisper of a line that differenciates friend and enemy. One of your allies has already crossed that line, but I would hate it if we were to become friends, because one day I do hope to finish the fight we started during the Bakumatsu."

Kenshin was barely listening to Saitoh's final response, for he was fully concentrated on the previous words he had spoken, "One of...my allies?"

The former captain took one last breath from his cigarrette before throwing down the remaints and crushing the butt beneath his heel, one final slither of smoke trail with the barely tangible wind. His voice was curt in reply, obviously pressed for time, "Has it ever occurred to you, Battousai, how Aoshi Shinomori has obtained all the information he has needed up to this point? Have you ever wondered, how he has that old glint in his eye again, just as a hungry tiger out for revenge? Shinomori is out for blood, blood that is sweet with the ever coming revenge. And he has gone through so many ways to garuntee his victory. He is out for death, Battousai, and it is your death he craves. Go back to the Aoiya, go back...and you will find that Shinomori has long but gone. Perhaps to search for a means so as he can have one final battle with you." Saitoh finished dramatically, and walked slowly into the shadows of the station, all but before adding,

"Stay alive Battousai, stay alive. Because one day, we will finish what we started."

Kenshin's breath caught in his throat, and he knew, the scales had been horribly altered.

* * *

The calm ferocity glinted in his eyes as his stride quickened. An aura of unpassionate determination emanated from his very being, a sort of intensified anger that one could barely fathom. His expressionless stare was set as step by step, he neared closer to his goal.

The paint from the rusty iron gates were slowly peeling away to reveal the cast underneath, and as he made his way closer to the locked gates, an empty, mocking laugh escaped his mouth, disappointed at the lack of defense. He gripped the hilt of his Kodachi, then decided otherwise as he took a small step backwards before making a unimaginable leap over the gates.

Once inside the grounds, his eyes warily scanned the perimeter and ticked off the number of guards. None.

_It seems that I have been expected..._

Not too long ago, the Shima compound had been regarded as one of the most magnificent, old, but honorable grounds in Kyoto. It held its own temple, garden, library, and numerous and uncountable rooms and quarters. One could easily lose his way within the cryptic mazes.

But Aoshi Shinomori was no fool, having gained information from Saitoh and the secret police, and he slammed the faded red-painted double doors open with one mighty thrust, revealing a large hall, its open arch stretching to two stories. A creaky, grand staircase was dead ahead, with a man standing center-stage.

"The legendary Aoshi Shinomori draws closer, former leader of the Oniwa Bansu. Of course I assume you are here for the child? Or perhaps Battousai's woman?" he questioned confidently.

Aoshi gave him a dirty stare as he snorted before saying, "I am here on no such errand, Gensou."

An expression of astonishment flickered on Gensou's face, the first move of the game that he was not able to predict, and it had briefly caught him off guard. However, he quickly regained his composure as he smirked, "Ah, I see that my reputation proceeds me. Well, then Shinomori, what is it you are here for, if not for _either_ Wolf or the woman?"

"I am here to strike a deal."

Silence hung in the air as this request certainly took Gensou by surprise. His reply came slow, careful to chew his words before blatantly spitting them out, "And what, pray tell, makes you believe that I can trust you? And how in all hells, are you supposed to know that you can trust me? Trust is something that is easily crushed...but not so easily built."

Aoshi's face filled with disgust at each word that left Gensou's mouth, and he impatiently stated, "Because I can tell you every detail of the Battousai you need. Assist you in any manner. In return, I ask that you do not disrupt nor question my actions. Allow me to do what I will, without attempting to stop me. Because I work for no one."

Gensou chortled as his sinewy figure swayed while he made his way slowly down the steps of the grand staircase, "Shinomori, Shinomori...certainly a comic. Clearly revenge it is you wish. Very well, because you strike me as a person who possesses characteristics beyond what I have ever seen before, I accept. Hesitantly, I admit, but I accept. Because now, I lose an advisary and gain an ally...."

Aoshi remained rock standing exactly where he was as Gensou approached dangerously near, his voice continuing to fill the hall as he rambled on, "But know this," he said curtly, "I will have you watched. Because I don't know what kind of game you are playing Shinomori, but I am willing to play along with it. With big gambles, come big rewards, and I am more than willing to gain. However, trust is a suttle thing...though I am trusting that you can and will kill the Battousai. I see it in your eyes." Gensou was so close to Aoshi now, that the former Oniwa Bansu leader could feel the man's breath on his neck.

For some quick heartbeats, Gensou glared scrutinizingly at Aoshi, as if questioning his motives. He didn't however, as he sharply turned around and declared, "Go. Go now, and don't come back until you have the Battousai's head."

The man's footsteps echoed in the hollow hall as he made his way up the steps, one by one, step by step. And as a door slammed throughout the mansion, Aoshi flexed his muscles before marching out of the building, the fire of selfish passion burning in his eyes.

* * *

A gnawing, throbbing pain echoed in her head as Kaoru attempted to bring herself to consciousness. And as the world became clearer through her eyes, she cringed as the agonizing pound filtered through her mind, causing her to feel lightheaded. After a few moments of pulling herself together, she was able to slowly sit up straight, allowing the blankets that covered her shoulders to fall, cascading down into her lap.

"Ah, you's awake Kaoru-sama," a familiar voice stated matter-of-factly.

Kaoru couldn't help but let her heart swell with joy as she saw the boy that had entered their lives only a few weeks before. It had only been a few days, but Kaoru felt like it had been a lifetime of seperation. She smiled as she whispered quietly, "It's beyond words, Wolf. There are so many worries that are running through my mind, other thoughts that I could be thinking of. But yet, even as those thoughts haunt me...the sight of your face brings me hope..."

The faint freckles on Wolf's cheeks danced as he smiled, and a few slick salty drops made their way down his face as he allowed himself to be surrounded by Kaoru's embracing arms. His voice came muffled as he questioned hesitantly, "Will's they ever come...?"

Kaoru inhaled before slowly laying her chin atop Wolf's dirty blonde head, responding every so quietly, "I hope so Wolf...I hope so..."

The pair remained in that position for awhile, hoping, that by having one small speck of another's presense, the outcome would improve. And with questions and thoughts in mind, they fell into a deep sleep as the thin crescent moon crept over the pitch black horizon.

* * *

Kenshin's pace sped as anticipation and anxiousness coursed through his veins, the very blood circulating as adrenaline kicked in. The fear that a much worser fear had been confirmed. 'Please...let Saitoh be wrong...please...' Kenshin thought, now closely nearing the Aoiya.

The wind whistled in his ears as he pushed the door to the restaurant, walking into a room that held Misao, Sano, Yahiko, and Megumi.

"Where's Aoshi?" he spat out, impatient for their response.

Everyone gave Kenshin a blank look, as if they thought he had known. Sano blankly replied, "He wasn't here when we all got up. We assumed he was with you."

A smug look overcame Kenshin's face at Sano's statement, and Misao read Kenshin's face like an open book.

"What happened to Aoshi-sama?" she questioned urgently, her tone of voice demanding an answer.

Kenshin did not know whether to answer her question or not, not knowing what her reaction would be to Aoshi's betrayal. But as Misao's face became more and more concerned, her alert perception told him that she had every right to know. In a frail attempt to inform her as gently as he could, he explained, "It seems that Aoshi...that Aoshi has decided that he has a much greater and more important goal in accord with Gensou..." Kenshin finished lamely, his face sympathetic as Misao's face contorted into the utmost shock.

"W-why...?" Misao stuttered, "Why the hell would he leave us for that bastard?"

_Why would he leave me...?_

"Tsk, tsk, language..." Sano muttered.

Kenshin sighed, and could only respond in the way he knew, "I do not know...but something tells me that Aoshi wishes to see me above all else, that it does... I leave to find him...and I hope to bring him back." With those words, Kenshin turned his back, the door closing softly behind him.

Yahiko shook his head in disappointment, stating bluntly, "So much for love. That guy doesn't even know how to make a commitment. Broke Misao's heart, that one."

Megumi shot Yahiko a dark look, and was about to yell at him, but Misao turned to face them, her words soft and almost inaudible, "I do not love him. I damn well don't love him." Her words were clear and precise, but there was still a quiver of hesitation that was barely noticible. And despite the statement that had come out of her mouth, she whipped around, flinging the door open, running into the streets of Kyoto.

Megumi sighed sadly...she had seen a tear streak down Misao's cheek as she turned to run out the doors.

_She loves him..._

* * *

Kenshin set a fast pace as he meandered through Kyoto.

"Great..." he muttered to himself, "I am being ridiculous, that I am...I do not even know where Aoshi is..."

"Talking to yourself won't get you anywhere, Battousai," a curt, rude voice stated.

"Saitoh!" Kenshin whirled around to find Saitoh standing in the dark shadows of a building, completely calm as his arms were crossed laxly over his chest.

"Hn... If you want to know where Shinomori is, he is getting rather impatient. He is at the Togetsukyo Bridge towards Western Kyoto," Saitoh informed.

Kenshin stared at Saitoh in disbelief before nodding slightly in agreement and taking off towards the bridge. Dodging commoners as he went, he ran at a decent pace that would get him there in good time.

And indeed, it took him less than a couple of minutes to reach his destination. Unfamiliar with this patch of post-war Kyoto, Kenshin took in his surroundings carefully, slowly easing his way towards the bridge. The Arashiyama Mountain loomed ahead, patches of green foilage growing on its side, its peak stretching towards the gray, cloudy heavens. And yet, on a typical day, Kenshin would have marveled at the beauty of Arashiyama, but today Kenshin didn't even give the mountain a second glance, for right in front of it, lay the long, wooden bridge of Togetsukyo.

On the other side stood Aoshi Shinomori.

* * *


	14. betrayal

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Author's Notes: hello, hello. ah, it has been almost more than two months...i think. i lose track quite easily, mind you. ho ho, sorry to keep you waiting, but i've been doing other things besides working on the next chapter. for example, i have been editing/rewriting previous chapters to get them exactly how i want them! so, right after this fic is finished (which i hope is soon...it's becoming quite long...), i will re-upload (is that a word?) previous chapters, and i hope old readers will find them better! not that i know where all the readers went...but yes, thank you to those who have reviewed, and i hope you enjoy this chapter! please review!

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chap. 14 - betrayal

"You are the most insensitive, rude, inconsiderate, unsympathetic, and beyond-bad-timing prat," Megumi retorted through clenched teeth, glaring at Yahiko through slitted eyes.

Yahiko backed up as Megumi advanced on him, with Sano laughing in the back, "That's a hell of a lot of words to describe Yahiko all in one sentence..."

Yahiko found that he could not back up any further, and snorted, "Well, it's true."

"No matter how true it is, you should learn to keep it to yourself," Megumi responded, still fuming.

"Want me to take care of him?" Sano asked eagerly, pounding his right fist into his left hand.

Yahiko's eyes widened, and Megumi laughed as Sano added under his breath, "I hate kids..."

Megumi smiled at this and kidded, "Oh, so does that mean you don't want kids?"

"Of course I want kids..." Sano growled as he swept Megumi into his arms, with Yahiko choking in the background.

"Get a room..."

The pair ignored Yahiko as Megumi broke free, giggling all the while as she ran out the doors, yelping, "Rapist!"

Sano stared at Megumi in disbelief as she tore down the streets, villagers eying her as she ran past. Sano swore he could make out fox ears and a tail as she turned around and stuck out her tongue. Hey, they didn't call her Fox for nothin'.

"Come on kid," Sano commanded as he followed Megumi out the door.

"Where we goin'?" Yahiko asked, after removing his hands from his eyes.

"Where else?! We're gonna find Aoshi and Kenshin!" Sano shouted, smirking at Yahiko's oblivious expression.

Sano almost felt guilty at joking around at a time like this, with everything on the brink of falling off the edge. And as the trio ran further and longer on in search of Aoshi, Kenshin, or Misao, the grim atmosphere thickened, their faces set and unfaltering with determination as they stumbled on...

* * *

The wind held still, not a sound able to be heard in the echoey silence that eerily crept into the atmosphere. Not a leaf rustled in the nonexistant wind, and not a ripple disturbed the glossy surface of the cold, grey water beneath the still bridge. The earth held its hushed breath, anticipating the next move from either occupants of the Togetsukyo Bridge.

It was Aoshi that moved first, penetrating the stillness, placing foot in front of the other, making his way slowly towards the center of the bridge, its boards noisily creaking, its sound vibrating through the air. His blank eyes bored into Kenshin's, ceremoniously removing his trenchcoat in one fluid motion, tossing it onto one of the posts of the bridge. Its sleeves and cuffs ruffled as it hit the top of the pole, waiting to be retrieved after the long anticipated battle between swordsmen. Not one, but two Kodachi hung from Aoshi's belt, swaying with every movement of the former leader of the Oniwa Bansu.

Kenshin watched this act monotonously, calculating his plan and words before he was to respond. And yet, deep in the dwelves of his mind, Kenshin knew what Aoshi wanted, but he had yet to be sure. Cautiously, Kenshin stepped forward, coming within feet of Aoshi, not in a swords stance, but merely a relaxed, careful position that would not give Aoshi any rash reason to attack.

His voice rang clear and succinct as he spoke, "What is the meaning of this Aoshi?"

Aoshi snorted, slightly amused at the naive question that Kenshin had uttered, "To prove who truly is the strongest. Now fight."

Aoshi unsheathed one of his Kodachi, flicking it within inches of Kenshin's face, his face entirely expressionless, but yet one could easily read his emotions through his empty, black eyes...

* * *

_His eyes fluttered open as he left sleep. Through the paper screen, he could make out the darkness of the non-awakening morning. The sun had not risen yet; in fact, it would be hours before it would._

_Sighing from exhaustion, Wolf turned on his side, to find the futon next to him empty, its covers carelessly tossed aside._ Shouri...

_His eyes widened, and hurridly, he swept out of the room, not bothering to shut the fusuma as he scurried to where he assumed his brother was._

Not now...it's happening too fast... _Wolf's thought were plagued with the possibilities that would have awoken his brother, his miniature feet pounding on the wooden planks of the outdoor walkway. Careful not to make any blatant noise, he crept around the corner, hiding in the crevice below the wooden boards, listening intently to the conversation among the samurai of the long forgotten Choshu Clan._

_A single candle flared in the room, flinging shadows among the corners and illuminating the surfaces of faces and swords. The faces of the room were weary and bleak, plainly tired and worn-out, their expressions like those of a stubborn, bleeding tiger, its desire to keep on fighting burning in its eyes, and only within its eyes. But perhaps their purpose was that worthy of revere, worthy of commitment, for although tiredness clearly eminated from their figures, there was a sense of stark determination._

_"Western civilizations have swarmed Japan...taking it by full force, dragging the government with it," a strong voice stated, its alto tone vibrating in the air as he paused, allowing it to sink in before continuing, "The Meiji, they tell us, is a full reform, comprised of people that will bring what is desired to all...we samurai have little purpose in a time of peace, and yet we continue to live on...but even if our time to fight has halted...the hunger, the need to fight dwells in our heart...our soul...our being..."_

_"What is your point, Ieshige?" a curt voice interjected, its tone impatient and wry, apparently unphased by the eulogy that left Ieshige's lips._

_"I am saying, Gensou...that our plans...to go through with them...would be folly...." Ieshige's voice was hoarse, apparently a lot of thought had come into his words before being spoken, "...that even if it seems it is impossible to change...it is inevitable. Perhaps we are just living on the sliver of want that the Clan had begun in the early years of the Bakumatsu. We are brooding in a Clan that exists no longer... That although it is difficult to do so...we shouldn't...these plans will not work. In the long run or now." Ieshige finished on a downbeat, and did not look up to see the reactions of his fellows, closing eyes to what seemed like a silent prayer._

_A sword sang as it left its sheath and vibrated ferociously as it contacted with flesh. Blood lined its blade and mad eyes glinted in its surface as the man called Gensou swiftly beheaded whatever sort of leader Ieshige was, for the good or bad..._

_Blood spattered the wooden floorboards, seeping through the cracks, and a spotted line of blood appeared on the paper door as Gensou flicked the blood off of his sword, a small gasp leaving Wolf's mouth as he watched the shadows behind the door move._

_Facing the small crowd before him, Gensou snorted, "That's a load of shit. I expect nothing less from the cousin of Iizuka...the traitor." He smirked as he spat impatiently, "Well, with that burden off of us, the plans go on as originially said." Gensou glanced around him before his eyes grew wide in anger and shouted, "Well?! Get a move on, idiots! Or do I have more to deal with...?" He smirked as his hand started to reach for his sword, watching as the men glared at him in the utmost contempt, but followed as he said as they filed out of the room. They knew who and when to pick their fights._

_One of them, barely still a boy, paused, staring at the fallen body._

_"Leave him," Gensou commanded, shutting the paper door behind the boy._

_Wolf peeked his head above the floorboards, whispering quietly, "Psk...Shouri...PSK...SHOURI...."_

_The boy, who had begun to walk down the walkway, sighed as he paused and jumped down to join his brother below the floor, "What is it, Wolf?"_

_"Wus happenin' Shouri? I's heard a murder...you's aren't goin' anywhere, is you?" Wolf's voice grew more frantic as his ramble grew._

_Shouri's face was much like his mother's, the Japanese half of him much more evident than that of his American heritage, and he tugged on his small ponytail out of habit before his thin lips moved to respond, "...listen Wolf...you're too young..."_

_"I's six!" Wolf cried in protest._

_"SHH...yes, but it's still not old enough to -"_

_"You isn't old enough neither! Fifteen's th' age for's a proper samurai. You's only twelve." Wolf responded._

_Shouri sighed, and continued tiredly, "Yes Wolf, I'm only twelve, but the Clan needs as many people has it can muster, and they said that I've got enough skill -"_

_"You's won't come back!" Wolf cried hurridly, "I's dun want to loose you, Shouri! Lemme come with's you! I's look after you!"_

_Shouri smiled at his brother's determination, but frowned as he reprimanded, "It's too dangerous. You're pretty good with swordsmanship right now, but it's no where near good enough. The Mito Clan won't go down so easily...and I will come back...I promise."_

_Wolf sat on this thought for a moment before shaking his head ferociously, "Dun go...I's think that Ieshige's right..."_

_Shouri's face truly reflected sadness and almost regret before saying firmly, "No. Gensou's right. Ieshige probably just had plans to work against the Clan, just like his cousin did. I've heard those stories are true, but we have definitely got to do something. Because if we don't, then we'll have one hell of a crappy government...." Shouri's voice trailed off before he regained it, whispering in a small voice, "...they say I don't understand. They say I don't understand what I'm fighting for," his voice grew stronger as he continued, "But I'll show them that I know exactly what I'm fighting for. I'll show them that a boy can make a difference in this shitty world."_

_Wolf stared at his brother in disbelief as Shouri stood, storming away, the fighter's spirit in him flaming like the fires that would soon engulf every major governmental monument in Japan..._

Shouri...it means Victory....but will there's be victory...?

* * *

Kenshin did not flinch as he stared at the sharpened blade of Aoshi's Kodachi, "No."

Aoshi's face morphed into a sort of disgust, almost disappointed that his battle could not come sooner...but yet, Aoshi had time...Shinomori had waited long...he could wait longer...

"No, I will not fight you. Although perhaps I would have guessed that this fight was inevitable...I do not think it is necessary, that I do not," Kenshin elaborated, speaking his words in a fine, sturdy tone, making his point clear and precise, "Twice we have fought, do you not remember? Twice our swords have crossed -"

"And twice I had failed to prove my point, to prove who truly is the strongest," Aoshi interjected, "Now cut the shit and fight...or perhaps you will need a powerful means of persuasion." Aoshi smirked, branishing his Kodachi and swiftly setting its blade against Kenshin's neck before cutting through the fine layer of flesh, tearing the skin and allowing a hairline of a cut to appear, a fine drop of blood staining a thin path down Kenshin's neck.

Aoshi gradually withdrew his sword, holding it before him, gazing at its sheen surface before disappearing from Kenshin's direct line of view and reappearing in seemingly every direction, swaying, floating from one place to the next.

_The Kaiten Kenbu... _The name of the attack unique to Aoshi Shinomori crept into Kenshin's mind as he recollected the time when so long ago, Aoshi had used this technique. But Kenshin had little time to reminiscence, for he knew that the attack came swift..but he also had an advantage.

Seconds later, Kenshin found himself face-to-face with the former leader, nothing more than a black look in his eyes; the Kodachi's blade grasped in both of Kenshin's bleeding hands, the blood slowly dripping onto the wooden boards.

"You forget what had happened during those two fights, Aoshi," Kenshin spoke, holding his position as he tightened his grip on the sword's blade as Aoshi attempted to pull out of his hold. However, Kenshin had no time to speak further, as Aoshi's left hand flew to his second Kodachi.

Aoshi's swipe forced Kenshin to jump back onto the bridge's rails, his hands far from his own Sakabato. Kenshin gazed at Aoshi with the most disappointed expression, Aoshi's nothing more than emptiness, and there was a whisper of a breath before a swift gust of wind blew through the river's current, ripples forming in a chain effect of fragile waves.

"Do you forget what I had said those two times? Did you forget what had happened? Or have you simply not remembered yet?" Kenshin whispered in a hushed voice, "Don't you remember Misao? She probably cries for you, Aoshi, her tears are for you. Your selfish desire to kill me has sacrificed far more than what you would gain with my death."

Aoshi snorted and it was clearly evident by the look on his face that he was getting rather impatient. Not responding to Kenshin's statements, he lunged, and Kenshin felt the front of his gi rip as he dodged Aoshi's attack just in time.

"Do you not remember what I said, Aoshi?" Kenshin's face was entirely monotonous as he stared hard into Aoshi's eyes, taking a breath before elaborating, "I had said that I committed many unforgivable crimes as the Hitokiri Battousai, I always thought that when I died, I would pay for all of it. I'll never give up my will to live no matter how much I'm tormented by my guilt, or if I have to answer for my crimes. Aoshi. You said you've sacrificed everything you had for this. It's easy to give up. Anyone can give up anytime they want. Your sword techniques are stronger than before. But your mind has become weak. I completely understand why you want to give your four men, who died to save you, the title of the Strongest warriors. But that's the only reason you can come up with for you to throw away your life. Your weak mind rationalizes your actions, but when you say you're doing it for them, you disgrace their memories and make them responsible."

And as Kenshin finished, he exhaled soundly, turning his head to stare at the dark-emerald foilage of the Arashiyama Mountain, admiring how the wind rustled through the branches and allowed them to sway in every which direction. Through all this, Kenshin felt the blades of Aoshi's swords fall, producing a definite thump when they struck the wooden boards, the hilts grasped loosely in his hands.

"You disgrace Misao."

Silence.

Although Kenshin was not facing Aoshi, he knew that there was confusion written all over his face, his face contorting, becoming more and more puzzled with each recollecting reality of the truth striking him harder than any sword's blow. Kenshin sighed, and jumped down from the rail, feeling the wind fly past the two fighters.

"AOSHI-SAMA! YOU SON OF A -" a high-pitched voice rang through the still air, shattering the silence.

"LANGUAGE, MISAO, LANGUAGE!" a deep voice roared, and the shapes of Misao, Sano, Megumi, and Yahiko stumbled into view.

Misao picked up her pace, running at breakneck speed straight past the unprepared Kenshin and slamming into Aoshi, collapsing there and then, bursting into tears.

"A-Aoshi-s-sama," Misao hiccuped, "W-why?! Why'd y-you leave us?! W-why'd you leave m-me? I love you, Aoshi, I love you, goddammit."

There was a clunk as both of Aoshi's Kodachis fell to the ground, and Aoshi slumped to the fallen Misao, a look of disbelieving realization and an apologetic expression plastered onto his face, his arms holding Misao close as he embraced her, mumbling in a sincere whisper, "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."

Kenshin smiled as he saw the scene unfold before him, and a pang of loneliness struck him as he spotted the silk ribbon still tied around his wrist. He missed Kaoru unbearably.

* * *

_Wolf scurried behind a tall wooden support, balancing on his feet so as he wouldn't be seen from the other side. His heart was beating horribly fast and his breath came in irregular gasps. How did he ever think he could do this?_

_But no, he had to do this, had to make sure that Shouri wouldn't kill himself, had to make sure that he'd come back alive...because he was the only one Wolf had left..._

_Roughly shaking his head, Wolf put a determined look on his face, putting aside all other thoughts as he peeked around the support, glancing at the fighters that had begun to march in a straight, even line, every other samurai holding a candle before him. Their bamboo hats shaded their faces, making their expressions unreadable and making it incredibly hard to differenciate between fighters._

_The sun still had not risen yet, but it was clear that clouds shrouded the sky. Suddenly, rain started to drizzle, its heavy, steady drops falling onto the earth. The candles immediately extinguished, and Wolf had the difficult task of finding his way to the end of the line in the dark._

_Wolf had not spotted Shouri, but he had hoped to find him when they reached the designated fighting grounds, perhaps he would be able to talk Shouri out of it._

_He waited awhile before running in light steps towards the end of the line, hoping that he would not be caught by the others. He did not dare to breathe as he tip-toed after them, and the fear that they could hear his heart beat made him tremble with fear. If they had saw him, they did not mention anything, and Wolf was satisfied with this. He needed to reach Shouri..._

_Walking solemnly in the mud through the light rain, the remaints of the Choshu Clan marched through the night, their footsteps penetrating the silence. But something else shattered the night as well, as Wolf gasped as he heard a samurai yell as a sword contacted with his skin._

It all happened too fast...

_The members of the Mito Clan sprang from the roofs and shadows of buildings as they ambushed the Chosho Clan, drawing their weapons and catching them off-guard._

Shouri...

_The rain drops stung Wolf's eyes as he ran through the messled crowd of samurai, trying to find his brother, trying to make sure that his brother was alright._

Don't let him be dead...

_"Shouri!" Wolf yelled, he had been so sure that he saw his brother, and scrambled past two dueling fighters, dodging their bodies before finding that he had again lost sight of his brother._

Where's is he...?

_The sound was unbearable, how was he going to find him?_

_And among the fights and the battles, Wolf felt a shadow creep up behind him, and as he turned around, he found the blood-thirsty face of a samurai, his crimson-drenched sword more than ready to strike._

_Wolf was frozen to the spot, and he found his legs shaking unconditionally under him, refusing to move no matter how much he willed them to. He couldn't yell...he would never_ _be able to find Shouri..._

Shouri...

_And as Wolf braced for the blow, he clenched his eyes shut, and when the pain did not come, he hesitantly peeked them open, to find the back of a boy shielding his, the man's sword dug deep into his abdoman._

No...

_"SHOURI!" Wolf screamed, and desperately fell on his knees to his immobile, fallen brother._

He can't be...he can't be...

_Shouri's blood thoroughly drenched them both as Wolf held his brother in his arms. Tears ran down his cheeks as reality crashed into him, and rainwater streamed down their bodies, soaking them, and allowing blood to stain the land of Japan._

_The shadow of the fighter still loomed over them both, and Wolf made no move to avoid his blow. He was ready to die. Let him kill him...then he'd see Shouri again..._

_But yet again, the sword did not come, and Wolf sorrowly glanced up to see the gleaming face of Gensou hack off the fighter's head, killing his brother's murderer._

_Flames licked at the surrounding buildings, the fire consuming and tearing through the wood. The heat emanated off of the fire-red smoke that filled the already heavy air, a disgusted look on Gensou's face, his eyes tearing through Wolf altogether. Eyes that gleamed through the darkness._

_But Wolf paid Gensou no mind. Only one word reverberated in his heart, mind, and soul._

Shouri...

Wolf jerked awake with a cry, his arms flailing at his sides as he felt cold sweat trickle down his face, gasping, fighting for breath.

Kaoru awoke beside Wolf, sleep-drugged and weary before she came to her senses and asked in a frantic, worried voice, "What's wrong, Wolf?"

Wolf took a few deep breaths, seconds of climatic silence filling the air as Wolf finally whispered in a haunted voice, "I killed my brother."


	15. confrontations

Author's Notes: i have returned! well, you know how stories reach a climax? yea, this is it. also, a fair warning, it's reaaaaaaaallllllyyy long. seven pages not double-spaced on my word document. also another warning, i tink it's a bit repetitive (and drags a lot) and i haven't gotten around to editting, so please bear with any annoyances you may (and probably will) encounter. also, if you're a bit confused by the end of the chapter, it's okay, technically, you're supposed to be.

my two loyal reviewers, u guys rock sox. haha. anyways, to any new/returning readers out there, please review, i'd like to know how i'm doin'! aiite, enjoy!

* * *

chap. 15 - confrontations

Kenshin had the faintest hunch that Aoshi would know where Gensou was, and where he was keeping Kaoru and Wolf. Things were becoming a reaccuring dejavu, scenes that continued to replay before his eyes. _Aoshi had struck a deal with Shishio. He would certainly strike a deal with Gensou._

"There is no time," Kenshin announced tersely, "There is no time to hesitate or make accusations. Right now, all that matters is finding Miss Kaoru and Wolf, that it does. Aoshi...can you lead us there?" Despite all the issues that needed to be resolved, despite all the knots that needed to be undone, Kaoru and Wolf came first.

Aoshi nodded, knowing fully well that yes, there certainly was no time to be denying anything.

Kenshin looked before the expectant faces of the friends that stood before him. They would go through this with him, and he had no time to tell them off or imply that this was too dangerous. There was no time.

* * *

Through the huffs and puffs of steady breaths that came with their hurried running, Kenshin and the others came to a halt, standing before the iron gate of the Shima compound. Completely unphased, Kenshin drew his Sakabato and leapt, tearing through the metal like a knife does through water, gliding smoothly through.

What was left were two equal pieces of what used to be a gate.

"Let's go get 'em!" Sano yelled enthusiastically, punching the two pieces aside and running through.

What they found were numerous armed guards.

"Yahiko, Misao, I trust you can handle this," Kenshin stated, his confidence for them as clear as the stars that struck through the pitch-black sky.

Yahiko and Misao nodded, Yahiko pulling out his Shinai, and Misao, an assortment of throwing knives and stars.

The guards hesitated at the unlikely pair, and it was their hesitation that costed them much. Kenshin and the others wound their way around the current fighting, and Aoshi flung open the same doors he had just faced less than an hour ago. The grand staircase presented itself empty of life, the wind howling eerily through its hollow caverns.

Hiroji swiftly appeared on the stair's endrail, crouching like a frog, and balancing himself expertly on the unstable wood. No one made any movement as he spoke first, "There is an arena in which Gensou wishes you to go to. Follow me, and don't attempt any nasty tricks, or the woman will suffer a most unpleasant death. Of course, if that does not dissuade you, perhaps the endless hallways upon hallways will." Hiroji smirked as Sano scowled.

They walked in silence, and although Kenshin wished they would hurry, he could do nothing other than comply with what Hiroji commanded.

The hallways were an endless maze, swirling in what seemed to be circles, and doors and hallways painted in the same faded cream, they never seemed to be moving forward, but instead moving in-place.

_The caverns and hallways formed in his mind exactly as they did on the same fateful day they faced Shishio. With Yumi to guide them, she pushed open the large metal doors that would lead to the fight of his life..._

And so Hiroji finally reached what seemed to be a dead end, and pulled the heavy wooden doors to a creaky stop, opening to a large patch of earth, lined with wooden porches that stepped down onto the dirt.

_The heat blasted in their face as the large arena came into view, perched atop equisitely built wooden supports._

Cold air reached them as they gasped for air, adjusting to the change of temperature, and to the sudden, unexplainable thinness of the air.

_And so it began..._

It was Kenshin who stepped forward first, cautiously treading his way to the center of the open-air arena. Megumi, Sano, and Aoshi remained on the wooden steps, gazing throughtfully around, absorbing their surroundings.

The arena was outdoors, save for the wooden platform that lined the square arena, a step upwards from the dirt patch that was the fighting grounds. The air was dead cold, and the sky seemed to be a tint of dark gray, blanketing the earth in an almost black; the clouds so heavy that it formed an endless, huge cloud that rolled on for miles and miles, stretching across an endless number of plains.

Kenshin breathed an even breath, and turned to Hiroji. "Where are they?" he demanded, resisting the unexplicable urge to pull out his Sakabato.

Hiroji smiled, "Patience."

A painful minute passed.

And suddenly, with each reverberating footstep, a man appeared. Cloaked in the darkness of the shadows, he smiled, savoring the sweetness of the moment, and spoke in a menacing voice, "Well, well, well, it has led to this."

Gensou's sinewy figure came into view as he slowly, mockingly almost, stepped down from the wooden steps, approaching Kenshin with a smirk on his face.

"Well Battousai, it is about time. We were getting worried about you, ne?" Gensou laughed, "We were afraid that the boy wasn't enough persuasion to have you come, so we stole your woman."

Gensou's tongue licked his lips and traced his teeth, letting his words sink in before continuing in the same lethal tone, "And no doubt you would like to see them again, yes? Well...we will give you that chance." Gensou paused, "Hiroji, bring the boy and the woman."

Hiroji appeared in an instant, with Kaoru in his arms, and Wolf following obediantly behind, with no other choice set before him.

A pang of pain hit Kenshin as he gazed upon the eyes of his wife in what seemed to be years. Only then did he realize that she was pregnant. That she was bearing his child. How could he have let this happened...?

Kenshin's eyes flashed from his calm amethyst eyes to amber, before flashing back, his voice cold as he declared evenly, "Let them go...and no one has to suffer anything."

Gensou laughed. A dark chortle that echoed through the still air. He stopped and commanded, his eyes slanted into an amused expression, "Hiroji...kill the boy."

* * *

Kaoru's eyes were brimmed with tears as she looked into Kenshin's eyes. They were the same eyes...but yet not entirely the same. She wanted this to end, for this to stop and for her to wake up, with Kenshin at her side, sleeping peacefully, with no care in the world. She clenched her eyes shut, hoping that it would all just go away, vanish into the the night air that she would wake into, breathing and gasping for breath, glad that it was a dream.

But it wasn't.

And then she watched as Wolf's eyes widened in fear as his death sentence was announced.

She saw Gensou's lips move as he formed the words _Come to the center of the arena...and then...it will be over._

Her eyes followed Wolf as he walked in a deathly march to the arena. Tears threatened to spill over.

She continued to follow what was to happen next.

* * *

Hiroji remained in the darkness of the wooden platform, not moving an inch although he was proclaimed as the boy's murderer.

Gensou clicked his tongue in impatience, "Hiroji, what are you waiting for?"

"This is too much. Even they don't deserve this."

Hiroji could hardly believe the words that escaped his mouth. No, he _could_ believe the words that left his mouth. His lips knew better than he knew, they spoke wiser than he had ever thought, and he knew that they were right.

There was deathly here," Gensou spoke, a strained quality in his tone, and there seemed to be a vague smile on his face.

Kenshin made no move to do anything. Nor did Aoshi or Sano.

Hiroji knew what was to come next. There wasn't anything to regret anymore, and nothing to wonder. There was no doubt.

He approached Gensou in a solemn tone, and there was a moment of stillness -

- before Gensou's sword left its sheath, tearing through skin, bone, and blood, disconnecting Hiroji's head from the rest of his body. His head flew in a spurt of blood, rolling to a stop as the mask came undone, revealing his true face, the eyes closed in finality, as if all his problems has suddenly dissintigrated before the sword left him lifeless. The body crumpled to the ground, remaining there in all its gory.

Something in Kenshin snapped as he saw the limp and decapitated body of Hiroji. His eyes were a golden amber, flaring with such intensity and anger, narrowed into a deathglare and it seemed that all kindness that was in him had left in the instant the sword had left its sheath.

Heavy rain began to pour, the navy blue ribbon slipping from Kenshin's wrist, fluttering to the ground.

* * *

She wasn't supposed to see any of this. There weren't supposed to be any deaths in her lifetimes, no sorrow, no pain. But yet there it was, standing before her, basking in the open air, and proclaiming its uncleanliness to her and the world.

Wolf wasn't supposed to see it either. But yet he had.

Death.

It haunted many.

Tears flowed from her tired eyes. Flowed from her eyes that were weary of the salt that poured out of them constantly, drenching her skin and forming flakey crusts of dried nothingness. She felt that her lungs were about to burst, from the loss of air, and the loss of energy...the loss of hope.

But her thoughts were not allowed to dwell on these sorrowful things, for before long, spasms of pain contracted across her abdomen, searing through her skin and flaring her eyes shut, clenched like a fighter's fist. Each nerve was on fire as the contractions worsened, spazzing in an uncontrollable beat. Her head felt like it was about to burst, and she cried out in agony.

_The baby..._

* * *

As ironic as it was, Megumi couldn't stand the sight of the blood that was spilled before her on the dirt arena. It sickened her to her stomach, and even though through all the patients she had received, she wanted to turn her head away and run as far away as she could from this hellish place.

But she let her eyes wander, gazing upon Kaoru, whose face was contracted into the most painful expression; she was whimpering, holding back her cries of pain through tight lips. Beside her, a pool of water and blood swirled, mixing into the wooden boards of the platform.

"Oh...shit..." Megumi said outloud, not caring the least bit if her words came out aristocratic or not.

"What?" Sano turned to face Megumi, and glanced at what she was staring at. "Oh damn shit..."

"Sano! I'm going to need you to as fast as you possibly can, as fast as your feet can carry you, go to the Aoiya, and grab my supplies, don't even bother trying to figure out which one will help or not, just bring it all. There isn't any time, and Kaoru's condition probably isn't the best it can be in this situation. She's probably in no condition to give birth now, but we'll have to manage. Why the hell are you standing there? Get a move on!" Megumi yelled quickly, her voice a little panicky.

_I can't be panicked like this. Kaoru needs as much help as she can get._

Beyond the space of the arena, voices cried out, yells of pain that intermingled simultaneously with Kaoru's. Cries belonging to a teenage girl and a young boy.

"Aoshi," Kenshin stated monotonously, "I sense that Misao and Yahiko are in need of help. You may want to offer them your assisstance."

Aoshi was taken aback at Kenshin's calmness, but knew that Misao and Yahiko were indeed, of need of help, and he spun on his heels without a moment's hesitation, flying through the doors after Sano, his feet carrying him through the corridors.

"Kaoru!" Megumi exclaimed, attempting to calm herself, "I need you to breathe, big breaths, and do not concentrate on the pain! It _is_ going to hurt, Kaoru, but I know you can deal with it. I would have ran you through all that you needed to expect, but here we are, the big moment, and you don't know a damn thing!"

"I - I...th-think...that Sano's - rubbed...o-off on you....you swearin' an' all that..." Kaoru huffed, her cheeks a frighteningly pale white, void of any color or life.

* * *

"Get away from here, Wolf," Kenshin stated in a hollow voice, succinct and to the point.

Wolf flinched at Kenshin's hard tone, and scrambled onto the wooden platform, shivering from fear. Too much was happening at once, and confusion mixed in with anxiety, provoking a feeling of a surreal world. Movement seemed to slow down, playing in shattered fragments. Sound was beyond comprehension, muffled as if someone had placed a cloth over the air, suffocating the vibrations and detatched from everything.

"Why do you protect a stupid child such as that one?" Gensou asked, motioning towards Wolf, "Why do you protect a sinner, a little beast that ought to be locked away forever, or killed?"

Kenshin made no move to respond; made no move do anything.

"Half American trash that killed his kin. That's right, killed his own brother." Gensou smirked, his lips forming a slippery grin.

Behind them, Kaoru's muffled whimpers of pain were heard.

"Lucky for the brat, I saved him. Oh, no, not his brother, _him._ He wasn't supposed to be with the Clan when the ambush occured, and because Shouri was so eager to save his brother...well...he's long dead."

Wolf trembled in anger and fear, overwhelming him in one hit, and he wanted so much to yell at Gensou, tell him to shut up about his brother, but he remained rooted to the spot, his lower lip quivering in anxious breaths.

"Oh yes, the government says Japan's all-that. Where has this new form of government gotten us? Yes, Dutch engineers, German architects, English scholars, and oh, yes...American military men. Swarming Japan with its infectious disease, contaminating our way of life and tampering with old traditions and morals. A way to the better Japan." Gensou paused, but his words seemed to have no effect on Kenshin, his face completely blank.

"A civil war that raged through Japan...and still does. The fight between two sides. The side that continues to fight. And the side that has given up on fighting. The side that has given up on its country, and therefore are a disgrace to the Japanese. They say modernizing will allow us to 'catch up' to the Westerners and all their civilization. They say give up what has been in our country and blood for thousands of years.

"I say that Shishio Makato was not entirely wrong when he wanted to become the new leader of Japan. I say that his ideas were at least of some consideration to the old Japan. Yes, his ideals were brutal, but he who wants to live must fight, and he who does not want to fight in this world, where eternal struggle is the law of life, has no right to exist."

Gensou found a blade pressed against his neck, but he made no move to shove it away or move from it. He smiled at the man that stood before him.

Kenshin's grim face contained no emotion, his voice a demanding tone, "Then fight."

* * *

The bonds had snapped. What had been holding back all forms of the monster, what had been holding back what was left of self-control...vanished. Broke away in a defiant bound, and shattered into a million shards. Present, joyous memories faded away, replaced with black, dreary ones, the memories of a killer. The memories of a murderer. Of an assassin. Of a hitokiri.

His once warm, amethyst eyes had hardened, formed into a sleek, icy golden amber, glittering far brighter and ferocioiusly than the reverse-blade he wielded. Nothing existed in this world except for his opponent and him.

The hard rain shattered through the air, splintering the thick humidity and landing in hard thumps on the earth's surface. The tears pierced his skin, striking them and leaving a tingling sensation that rippled through his body on his skin. The drops landed in his eyes, icing over the already cold glare. Water dripped, fell, cascaded off of everything, and no sound could be heard through the thundrous clatter. He could barely see three feet in front of him.

The softened muddy ground lashed up as he drew back his Sakabato and fiercely whipped forward, the rain bouncing off of the sheer blade of the sword. Wind whistled in both fighters' ears as Gensou skidded to a halt...not in front of the Battousai, but behind him. Katana drawn.

A whoosh of air flew behind the katana, aimed for the Hitokiri's neck...for flesh. But hit air instead as Gensou followed through, drawing it back before using the miss as an advantage, using the force of his left hand by flinging it leftwards, his sword flying leftwards as well, and he dashed, again aimed for the legendary Battousai.

Gensou had a glimpse of the Battousai's monotonous expression before it disappeared before his eyes, and felt the drops of rain come at a slower pace. He was above him.

Head over heels, the red-haired man flew, flipped into the air, his sword aimed at the crick of Gensou's skull. But hit the blade of a sword instead as Gensou lifted the hilt in defense.

Himura landed in the mud, skidding on his feet, crouched, and using his left hand as a source of balance. Glistening drops of water fell from his face, his hands, his sword...

* * *

Nothing but pain. No matter how hard, she couldn't bring herself to concentrate on anything other than the blackness of her. She wasn't even in the proper condition for the baby...what would be the consequences of this? No doubt, something that would cause more tears...more tears to spill like the rain that fell.

She gasped for breath, and could feel the raindrops spatter, hear them pound. But nothing pounded harder than her heart...than her head.

"Lay back, Kaoru!" Megumi yelled, obviously flustered. Beyond flustered.

"I-I'm t-trying...when's S-Sano going to be here?!" Kaoru screamed. Her eyes remained shut, so tight that she saw green and blue dots blinking in the back of her eyelids.

"I don't know!"

Kaoru's lungs filled with air at a fast pace, breathing, gasping, choking...

* * *

Drips trailed down his face, soaking out of his matted red hair and dripping off of his chin, caking his face with a slimey coat and falling off of his lips, crawling into the crack of his mouth, his tongue absorbing the slivery liquid.

There was a pause.

Then the flying acrobatic sword techniques that whirled every which way, the fighers' hand motions so fast that one could barely keep up with the blurs that threw rain off its natural course, flinging the water in all which directions.

Right, left, up, right, whirl, turn, flip, whirl, swing, uppercut, block, whirl, block. A circle of attacks and defenses that twirled in an endless course.

- before the Battousai discovered he felt warmth on his lower left side. He glanced down and saw red seep through the pink gi, and a precise, straight tear suddenly rip through, exposing the deep cut that had been struck there. Oddly, he felt no pain in this newly-acquired injury, but instead felt a sting come from his left cheek, and lifted his hand to find his old cross-shaped wounds bleed furiously. No...it was no old wound.

His damp and heavy gi was just holding him down, and he tore it off his shoulders and tossed it aside, flicking his sword before glaring at Gensou, daring him to make a move.

A flash and a blur.

The Sakabato felt skin tear beneath it as two neat cuts formed on the opposite sides of Gensou's neck, crimson dribbling from the scabs.

Gensou traced the outline of the new blood, and examined the red that was quickly drowning beneath the downpour of raindrops. He smirked, and flicked his Katana out of habit, clearly amused as his moist lips formed words,

"I see that the Battousai is far from what I had originally thought he was...He's even better."

He crouched, his sword raised head-height, poised for the next vicious round.

The red-haired man felt the rain pound on his chest, and he inhaled, before he brought his Sakabato back into its sheath, and split his stance. The silver blade sang as it entered the caverns of its carrier.

The world seemed to hold still, the rain seemingly falling in slow motion, the heartbeats of many pounding at a different rate, to various rhythms.

* * *

Her blood kept pounding vigorously as the contractions worsened, and instead of merely screaming, she held it in within a whimper, her head throbbing so hard that she felt that her heart and head were about to explode from the rushing blood that circulated throughout her body.

_Kenshin..._

The single word echoed within her mind, and beyond all things, she was worried about the baby, worried about Kenshin...worried of what might happen...of what the outcome of the battle would be.

_You're not a killer..._

They flitted about her mouth, she heard her voice in her ears, but they wouldn't escape her lips. She wanted to take Kenshin into her arms and tell him that it was alright, and that they would get through it.

"Damn it, Kaoru, PUSH!" Megumi yelled over the thudding rain, and she looked up as she heard heavy footsteps thunk on the wooden boards. Sano.

Sano was gasping for breath as he limply held out a canvas bag filled with Megumi's supplies, "Aoshi's made it to help Yahiko and Misao...the odd's weren't lookin' too good for 'em before he arrived...unfortunately, these hallways are so frickin' confusing that he's only made it there now...Lots more guards than we thought..."

"Ack, we'll worry about Aoshi, Misao, and Yahiko later! We've got more important matters right now!" Megumi gritted, "Boil water and fast!"

Kaoru's breathing had started to come in irregular spasms, and she began to gasp in the most inaudible whisper,

_Kenshin..._

* * *

Through the blurred tears of water, Gensou could make out the faint outline of the Battousai, crouched and ready to strike. "Ah...of course, the infamous god-like speed possessed by only the Battousai..." he muttered indecisively. He knew that this would certainly be a challenge, and that there was no other way to dodge it. No, that was impossible; it was simply inevitable...he would have to face the attack head-on...and hopefully find a way around it.

The pebbles of rain seemed to pause, their hush of rushing water faded away in a mute blanket. _Clear all senses..._ Gensou's mind pounded, the blood rushing through his head and he forcefully pushed back a lump of blood he felt rising in the back of his throat.

Why did he feel so anxious...? Where was this sense of dread coming from...?

Gensou could have laughed at himself, he was being distracted, and his mind was buckling under the pressure that was about to pound down upon him. He had to push at that weight...resist it. And fight.

Perhaps their swords crossed once...maybe even twice. Gensou did not know, he had no time to count, no time to react, and although his mind said to move, although his mind commanded his reflexes to respond...they did not. His arms only moved as if they were floating through water, the force of the air seemingly pushing his sword back and melting it back into place.

He should have been able to counter it...Gensou knew that his ability was able to match the Battousai's. Of course he did not dream of defeating such an adversary until recently, but he knew that he was certainly going to create an evenly matched challenge. But yet he didn't.

Why?

Gensou would never know, and it did not seem to matter at the moment, because the only thing that he saw at that exact moment, at that exact point in time, was his Katana, his precious Katana, the sword that remained sharp after years of bloody battles preceeding the Meiji Era, lie at his side, its silver, liquid blade cut into two. All he felt was the blood rushing down his body, as if in a frantic hurry to escape the cracks in his skin that allowed the crimson to seep through. The lump of blood rushed into his mouth in a warm rush, he coughed it out, letting the trickle dribble down into the rain that had continued its angry drilling.

He didn't know what was swimming about in his mind. He was neither unconscious nor conscious. His brain could not compute any of what had happened...but it hit him...it hit him in a blinding pang of hurt that made his body cry with wretched gasps.

No, he knew with sad mockery that he would not die. He would lie in this pain for perhaps hours before darkness took him. Unless the Battousai finished him. Ended his suffering.

The icicles of water stung his eyes as he saw a musty outline of a person hovering over him. Not of the sturdy, well-built killer of the Battousai. But of a little boy.

* * *

Why couldn't she bear herself to simply utter the words, to yell Kenshin's name through the thudding rain? How she longed to do so. Kaoru wanted to make a connection with the man that would become the father of their child...but she was utterly preoccupied.

_Kenshin..._

How many secrets lay behind the man she once knew? She couldn't remember anything. She couldn't even think these thoughts. She had to put her mind on the baby's survival.

_Kenshin..._

She almost had it that time, they almost left her mouth in a whisper. But instead, a choked cry escaped.

_Kenshin..._

The syllables ringing through the air, reverberating in the musty scent of fallen water; the high pitched scream issuing from Kaoru's throat had finally let loose.

* * *

With a breath of finality, he lunged. Lunged into the depths of warmth...into the caverns of life.

Sharp edges tearing through the fragility of it...frail, fraying edges were all that remained.

A second...maybe two. But that was all it took for the Battousai to set life free. To let life leave its shell and wander.

Perhaps not completely, no, the Battousai only made a simple puncture...a puncture that would manifest into a hole, grow in size and shape before life completely diminished into the grey blanket of clouds.

Contemplating whether to end the man's suffering, the Battousai stood over the fallen body of Gensou. Somehow, all that he wanted was the end of the man's life. The end of the devastating cluster of ruthless intentions he had stirred.

With muffled footsteps, he slowly marched up to the body. Monotonous, devoid of emotion, ambition, compassion, life...he lifted his sword...the ragged hilt scratching against his calloused palm as the sword swished as it flipped...flipped to the side of the grim reaper...the side of death...of blackness.

But before he could even take action, he saw before him a person that he would have never thought he would see again. The mere image of her sent a pang of lonliness and longing through his body. Perhaps it was the trick of his eyes...of the rain. Perhaps he was dreaming. But through his blurred, stinging eyes, he saw her, arms stretched out wide in an attempt to shield Gensou's body with hers. The expression on her face of pure defiance and aching sympathy fused into one.

Tomoe.

A voice crying through the air,

"KENSHIN!"

* * *


	16. aftermath

Author's Notes: at last! my comp has been fixed and my internet is working! and i have returned! three great things i tell ya. anyways, i don't think i have much to say, except that i hope that everyone has enjoyed this fic thus far! this isn't the last chapter, but the end is fast approaching. ::sniff:: i'm still working on editting, so pleez look forward to that. feedback (a.k.a. reviews) arewelcomed! thanx (as always) to ladybattousai and samuraiduck.

Disclaimer: ahaha...i forgot to put this in the past two chappies. i guess i got so excited that i forgot... haha. well, here it is, i don't own the original characters or plots, but this fic is my creation...yay.

* * *

chap. 16 - aftermath

Something twittered and tingled about on his skin, and he felt his eyes flutter in reaction, waking from moments of unconsciousness. Yahiko heard birds sing and felt sunlight stream in on his face. He squinted, blocking the sun with his arm, but recoiled as he grasped it in pain. A tight sling was wound about it, and he massaged it before turning to the other person in the room.

"So how bad is it?" he asked in a husky voice. He felt like he had not been this awake in weeks.

Megumi turned around and looked in surprise at the boy before smiling warmly, "Not too bad. You only have a broken arm and I do believe you suffered a slight concussion, maybe bumps and bruises here and there, but other than that, I think you'll be up and about soon," she paused before adding, "Now lie back and rest more, would you? I'll be back later to check up on you."

She left the room in a hurry, and Yahiko felt his mind clear slowly as he leaned back onto his futon.

_Not me, I meant everyone else..._

Yahiko remembered when Kenshin left both him and Misao to deal with the guards. They had been doing well for the first few minutes, but then a heavy sleet of rain had begun to fall, and it all seemed to dampen, going downhill from there with that coming rain. After a while of struggling, Aoshi showed up out of nowhere and Yahiko vividly remembered anger flaring in his eyes as the former captain killed every last one of the guards. But Yahiko did not see much of Aoshi's battle, for he knew that he had passed out long before then.

He sighed tiredly, looking around the room, knowing that everyone still remained in the Aoiya. No one had left Kyoto yet.

Yahiko yawned. Maybe he needed more sleep than he thought. How long he had been sleeping before, he did not know. But he would have to wait before he found out about everyone else. About Kenshin or Kaoru or Wolf or Sano or Misao or Aoshi...

* * *

Megumi felt tired beyond all beliefs. Day in, day out, night after night, she treated each person as much as she could. The duty of a doctor never slept.

She tiptoed to Misao's room, quietly slipping open the fusuma to find Misao sound asleep, with a hovering Aoshi struggling to stay awake by her side. Megumi smiled - when Misao had fainted from exhaustion after battling so many guards, Aoshi had dutifully carried her to the Aoiya. And remained by her side the whole night, holding her in his arms as they both slept that night.

Megumi did not want to disturb their slumber, and although Misao's injuries were more severe than Yahiko's - a broken leg and a few broken ribs - she knew she could tend to them later.

She walked down the hallway and arrived at Kaoru's room. Kaoru and the baby. Megumi felt a pang of panic return to her...the same blow that she felt grasp her the night of that fight. Both the baby and Kaoru had barely made it through. Recollecting the memory, Megumi remembered Kaoru going into a state of shock before passing out, her heart beat stopping for a few painful seconds, the strain of childbirth almost too much to bear for her weak body. But Megumi acted on her toes, and got her heart pumping again...Kaoru had been lucky.

Now painfully weak, Kaoru had remained bedridden and in a deep sleep for more than a week now. Megumi felt sadness rush at her in a curling wave; it had been a week, that long, since the night of that fight.

The baby would live, although Megumi knew that he would not be the most healthy in the first few months. She knew that she would have to keep a close eye on him for awhile, and with some time and perseverance, he would make it through. The baby remained unnamed, as Kaoru had not the consciousness to name him, and Kenshin...Megumi sighed at thinking of Ken-san.

Megumi treated Ken-san in every which way physically....but in his mind, in his state of being, she could not help. She could only go so far as to obtain a full recovery. A full recovery, Megumi knew, Kenshin would never have.

* * *

Positioned not far from an open window, Kenshin sat. Oh, he was there physically, his health stable for the time being, even under all the pressure it was put under. But Kenshin knew not where his mind was, for he let it wander about in the intangible space that he knew nothing of. There he often sat, dwelling upon old memories of the bloody war preceding the Meiji Era. Many times he thought of Kaoru...but mostly of Tomoe.

Kenshin could easily recall that night when he thought he saw Tomoe. But he remembered what had happened...Kenshin remembered blinking the tears of water and salt out of his eyes, and seeing Wolf standing there defiantly. The voice he had heard, the voice that he had almost mistaken for Tomoe's...was Kaoru's.

When Kenshin had seen Wolf standing there, defending the man he hated most, Kenshin knew that he could not kill him. For even a boy had more mercy than he...a boy with intentions far greater than show mercy on the man that had put him through so much. Kenshin remembered the disgusting slime that he felt his hands were seemingly, suddenly covered in, and he could not wash the feeling off, the feeling of grime, of filth, of unworthiness... So much he felt at once then...

It occurred to him that his mind had gone into a state of shock...and this was the aftermath.

But how could he face Kaoru again? Guilt plagued upon him, and he felt the shame in knowing that Kaoru was not the only woman he had ever been with. She deserved to know...Kenshin had every intention of telling her when she awoken. His wife had the right to know of his past.

Thought after thought swarming his mind as time would allow. The Aoiya was so quiet now...the peaceful setting almost mocking Kenshin, the trees creaking with laughter for him as he allowed himself to wallow about in his own grudgingly despairing thoughts. One by one, Kenshin thought of each person in his life...and came around to thinking about Sano again...

How long ago had that been...?

_Kenshin stood in the disappearing clouds of the long-gone storm, his feet planted sturdily on the wooden planks of the entrance to the Aoiya. The storm had finally lifted, and little by little, color was returning to Japan, although the water still remained. But Kenshin did not feel this relieving color within him...inside he remained grey._

_His thoughts were interrupted by muffled footsteps from behind him, and Kenshin glanced back to find Sano standing there, a solemn expression pasted on his face, and a bag made of sturdy material slung over his shoulder. _

_"Yo Kenshin," Sano greeted Kenshin, and slowly moved next to where Kenshin was standing, his eyes tracing the Kenshin's gaze, watching the clouds move with him._

_"What's wrong, Sano?" Kenshin asked. The uncomfortable silence signaled everything to Kenshin._

_Sanosuke's lips formed a straight line in a grim expression as he faced Kenshin. It was then Kenshin realized how tired Sano looked._

_"I'm not going to lie or anything Kenshin," Sano started, "I'll just get straight to the point."_

_Kenshin nodded._

_"I got word that I'm wanted as a criminal now. What they've got on me, I don't really know. All I know is that I can't put any of you guys in danger, especially with the police and what-not. So I'm off," Sano sighed, "Somewhere where it'll be hard to track me, ya know? I'm thinkin' China. Always wanted to see the place...maybe it'll..." Sano trailed off._

_Kenshin still did not speak._

_Sano continued heavily in a husky voice, "Kenshin...I really doubt I'll be coming back, so...well...China's gonna be nothin' compared to you guys, and I'm not runnin' off 'cuz of all of you...I..."_

_"What about Megumi? Have you said good-bye to her?" Kenshin interrupted, turning to Sanosuke with a questioning glance._

_The fighter paused as he stared down at the ground, seemingly fighting an inner battle, "...No...I haven't. I think it'll be easier this way though...If she asks where I've gone Kenshin...Tell her...tell her...."_

_Sano could not find the words, and Kenshin made no move to supply them. He merely nodded as he whispered quietly, "I understand Sano. Sagara Sanosuke...thank you for everything you've done for us, and good-bye. Stay safe."_

_Sanosuke shook his head with a stubborn bitter sweet smile on his face, "No Kenshin...I should say thanks."_

_Sano turned his back, the Aku symbol twisting and turning in the breeze, his voice carrying on that wind in a hushed voice, "Arigato...gozaimasu."_

_Kenshin watched Sanosuke disappear on the horizon...Watched until the dully bright light blinded out the Chinese symbol, erasing it into the plains, forevermore..._

Kenshin pulled himself out of the disintegrating memory. Lately, all that he ever thought about were replaying memories in his head, reenacting as though it were happening all over again. He felt that he had no way to start or stop them...they came automatically into his thoughts, interfering with his life and mind.

More than not, he was thinking of Tomoe, and the sweet sorrow that tugged at his heart at any memory of her. He often wondered why he had seen Tomoe in Wolf's place, guarding Gensou. But as Kenshin thought about it, he remembered. Wolf Yukishiro.

_Kenshin never stayed in one place, and wandered about the Aoiya. He was tempted to wander across Japan once again, but many things tied him to Aoiya and Kyoto. He finally found himself settled in his room once more, and he turned around to the sudden sound of the fusuma sliding on its rail. Wolf timidly entered the room, and walked cautiously towards Kenshin, slowly setting himself down next to the redhead. _

_There was a moment's pause before Kenshin said monotonously, "Hello, Wolf."_

_Wolf flinched, and kept his head down, his eyes set on the wooden boards of the floor, not responding. _

_Kenshin did not know what Wolf wanted, but he knew there was a reason for Wolf's coming, so he patiently and softly muttered, "Wolf...how was it you were of importance to Gensou? Why did he need you so badly? You were running from him and his men the first time we met you, weren't you? But how does this all fit together...?" _

_Wolf sighed before deciding to answer the long-belated question, "I's...Back then, my father was taken in by the Choshu Clan, 'cuz they's found him on a beach's shore...or thas' what they tell me. Anyways...my father met me mum, and Shouri, then me was born. My mum died of childbirth, I's never knew her, and I never really knew my father either. Well, Gensou so happened to have been the one who brought my father in, and he made it seem like we were indebted to 'im. Tha' it was my fault that my mum died...and ya know... But...I tink somewhere 'long the way I discovered tha' sumthin' bad was gonn' happen, I tink I learned that Gensou was stirrin' up somethin' not-so-good. So I ended up stealin' his plans and hidin' 'em. Problem was, he found out. He ended up threatenin' me with everythin' he had, 'specially blamin' mah whole family's death on me. Shouri...mum....father....An' I's almost believed 'im. But in the end, I's drove myself to burn the whole document altogether, so I's wouldn't end up givin' it to 'im. He knew he couldn't kill me, 'cuz I's the only person who knew their whereabouts. So, he threatened torture...an' I's ran away...ended up with you guys...an'....ya.....But I guess all this has been for nothin', 'cuz Gensou's plans are gone, an' he's been searchin' for nothin'." Wolf looked as if he were going to break down, and he continued to stare intently at his hands._

_"Wolf...Even though I can't say for certain, I'm pretty sure Gensou's plans were somewhat related to Shishio's. He probably meant to stir trouble with the government, and end up 'reforming' Japan in some way....whether his plans were for the better or worse, I guess we'll never know. But maybe... Gensou still remains alive, somewhere out there. It's now his choice to live or die. To reform or not...I have a feeling that because he will never again find those documents you burned, he may go out there and do something for the better, perhaps join the government itself," Kenshin said lengthily. _

_After awhile, Kenshin tiringly commented, "All this time Wolf...and we still do not know much about you, that we do not."_

_Kenshin paused before continuing, "I know there are strong reasons for your decision to protect Gensou, and there is no need to share those reasons if you do not wish to do so, those memories can stay locked within you for as long as you may allow. There are secrets that you may keep, secrets you may tell. But Wolf, let me tell you a secret that I hold within me. When you shielded Gensou with your body, I did not see you. I saw a woman I loved, and still love, standing in your place, her eyes begging me not to commit anything I would regret. Her name was Tomoe. And I killed her with my own hands. Tomoe Yukishiro."_

_Wolf's ears pricked up at the mention of Tomoe's name, and he remained quiet for a heartbeat before whispering softly, "I knew Tomoe-sama."_

_Kenshin's eyes widened in surprise as he turned, puzzled, to face Wolf._

_Wolf sighed, and spoke in a small, intimidated voice, "Tomoe-sama was my aunt. My last name's Yukishiro. I's never knew my mum, but I's always knew that her family name's Yukishiro. After her death, my dad wanted some reminder of her, and gave both me 'nd my brother her name. I's think that Tomoe-sama was my mum's sister." _

_Kenshin was shocked to discover this new piece of information, and could only listen as Wolf continued. But somehow, although the boy's voice was full of fear, it seemed that his grammar grew stronger and stronger, fewer and fewer mistakes noticeable, and Kenshin realized that Wolf was growing far faster than he would have ever imagined, both in mind and body._

_"Maybe...maybe you's saw Tomoe-sama...'cuz I's related to her. I don't know." Wolf finished with hesitation, and a silence clung in the air._

_"I'm sorry Wolf." _

_Wolf grew puzzled at Kenshin's statement, and replied, "Why Ken-sama?"_

_Kenshin's face morphed into one of sorrow, and his voice was shaky as he resonded, "Because...I killed your aunt. I killed my wife. I killed apart of me. Everywhere I turn, I seem to be affecting another human being, and I can't escape this infectious disease, that I can't. That is why I am sorry. Miss Kaoru will learn of my sins, and I do plan to tell her. But I cannot expect even a mere sign of acceptance, and I begin to wonder where my life will turn. I know who I am now, Wolf, and that is what scares me the most, knowing."_

_The sun suddenly seemed to sink dangerously fast into the horizon, cloaking both boy and man in the shadows, and leaving them with contemplating thoughts._

* * *

Wolf fidgeted under the covers of his futon, struggling to fall asleep and give in to the calming darkness. But sleep never came to claim him, for his mind was plagued with dozens of other thoughts that swarmed his head in one foul sweep.

Back during the fight, Wolf was shivering violently, not from the cold atmosphere, but from fear and fright. He had trembled with such sheer power that he had felt that he would never again be able to feel warmth or happiness. When he had stood up in defense for Gensou, he didn't know what he was thinking...his body moved without him knowing so. But what he did know, what he was sure of, was that not even Gensou deserved to die, and especially not by Ken-sama's hands. Wolf did not know what Kenshin had become that night, but he knew that it was not normal, and he felt that he had to do something...he just never knew what.

But with the rain pounding on his body and wetting him to the core, he stood there and put together what little he could. And as Kenshin turned to face him, Wolf thought, for a split second, that Kenshin would not stop, and paralyzing fear ripped through him.

That was when he remembered every part of his life that had importance. He knew little of his mother, and never caught glance of his father, who took much part in assisting the Japanese. Although his father was an American, he was willing to give whatever help he could to Japan because of their hospitality towards him when he lay stranded on their shores after falling from his own bombed ship. His father had died valiently on Japanese soil attempting to defend a fort. Wolf had a close relationship with his brother, Shouri, and nothing shattered him more than his death...

All this ran through his mind, before he realized that Kenshin had lowered his weapon, his Sakabato; the terrifying, gripping deathglare softening.

Wolf could no longer recall what had happened after that moment. To him, time had froze, and had begun back at the Aoiya all over again. But this time, everyone was more than well aware that a life-turning moment had occurred.

Where his life would go from here, Wolf knew not, and he had to find every which way to put together his life again. What could he do? More importantly, what did he want to do? All questions, that to him, remained unanswered from this point.

He steadily grew weary from thinking, and his mind became drowsy with such thoughts as the dream world came to whisk him away to unknown places.

* * *

Kenshin breathed in the fresh outdoor air as he trotted to the awaiting carriage. Kaoru, the baby, and Megumi had already left in the preceeding carriage, already on their way to the Osaka docks. After a couple days of waiting, Kaoru had awoken from her slumber, and within a week or so, she had gained enough strength to manage the journey home. And so there, at the Osaka docks, they would find the boat that would take them back to Tokyo, their home, the home that they had been away from for so long. After Kenshin, Yahiko and Wolf followed suit, unenthusiastically plopping themselves down onto the quite uncomfortable seats.

Aoshi and Misao waved from outside the Aoiya, deciding that they would remain in Kyoto, along with the few remaints of the Oniwa Banshu.

The carriage ride, the ship ride, and the long walk home were filled with uneasy silence, a silence of dreary thoughts and much of pain and anguish. Although the gripping battle was long but done...there were still knots that needed to be untied.

No one was sure where life would go from here, where the road would lead. They were following an uncharted path that could quite possibly lead to the edge of the earth. And even from a distance, Aoshi and Misao knew that as well.

* * *


	17. forthcomings and resolutions

Author's Notes: ::sigh:: at long last, this fic has come to a close. although it didn't get as many reviews as i wanted it to, i still had fun writing it and getting very positive feedback (LADYBATTOUSAI!!!!). although it's finished, i will be working on it somemore, rewriting and editting -- the first chapter is already revised! umm, look for future RK fics from me! one's already in the works (i'm in the middle of chap 1, the name of the fic is Paths Cross). for more info on that fic, look for it when i get it posted!! Well, it's been a blast, and here i go...

(haha, feedback is always appreciated)

Disclaimer: peh, after 17 chapters of this, i still don't own rurouni kenshin.

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chap. 17 - forthcomings and resolutions

Although the heavy rain had lifted far long ago, a light mist still continued to spray at their faces, dampening the atmosphere, and certainly the mood. Upon arriving at the Kamiya Dojo, everybody found it impossible to settle back into the lives that they once had.

The life that they had once possessed, and had cherished, was now gone, not a trace left to be found.

Old wounds were reopened, teared at by the clawing hands of memory. Losses were gained, old friends gone, loved ones dispersed with the rain.

And it was with a heavy heart that Wolf remained at the dojo, unsure of where to go next. Many times the thought of leaving crept into his mind, only to be dismissed with other thoughts.

Kenshin still caught no glance at his newborn son, nor his wife. Kaoru remained bedridden, and although she pleaded with Megumi many times to ask Kenshin to see her, Kenshin never came. His shadow was never upon her room's fusuma.

But all this time, Kenshin contemplated when he would tell Kaoru of his past, thought of when the time would come of when he would see his son at last, and see the tired face of his wife. Many times the words ran through his mind, echoing there like a never-ending wave.

And at last he could put it off no longer.

His footsteps thumped on the wooden boards, the sound lingering there, reverberating in his ears and head as he reached his hand out to pull open the sliding door. He stepped in, and saw the expectant face of Kaoru. In her arms lay a tiny bundle, wrapped in many blankets and sleeping. Instantly, an icy wave of guilt crashed upon him, and he paused to regain his breath.

His son had his mother's eyes.

"He has your hair, and your hands..." Kaoru breathed. No tears stained her cheeks, and she pulled the baby closer to her.

Kenshin did not know what to say. He had come into the room with every intention of telling Kaoru of the true man he was...and instead, he felt as if he were being punished, and even if it wasn't the case, he felt as if Kaoru's gentle and patient manner was mocking him. His guilt rang louder in his ears. But...there was no way he could put it off any longer.

"He doesn't have a name, Kenshin..." Kaoru whispered, rocking the bundle of blankets ever-so-slightly, "I've waited for you to come...so we could name him together..."

Kenshin hesitated, but only for a heartbeat as he spoke for the first time in weeks, "Miss Kaoru...You don't know my true self...and with that fact, I came here to tell you who I really am...because you need to know." Kenshin's voice was hoarse and stifling with pain, and he felt his own words foreign and alien to him. But he pressed forward before Kaoru could respond,

"There is no need for you not to know, Kaoru. Because my past is stained. I killed, slaughtered, and loved another. I was the Hitokiri Battousai from the Bakumatsu...and I loved a woman named Tomoe Yukishiro."

For an instant, Kaoru's face flashed with an unreadable expression, but she wiped it clean as she nodded, allowing him to continue.

"They say that back when the moon was a deep crimson, the blade of my sword was the same color. That I cannot change. I also loved Tomoe...and I still do. But...I killed her...I killed my own wife...."

Kenshin's words rose and fell like the ocean's tide, and as he progressed, the tale of his past took every turn Kaoru could never find imaginable. She continued to rock the baby in her arms throughout his story, and it could have been that Kenshin was not even there, because she made no acknowledgement of his words. She knew in her heart that Kenshin was pushing himself away, and she had no idea how she was supposed to react. But she listened with an open ear as Kenshin painfully wound through his past, and dug through those bleeding scabs even further. Those scabs would become scars.

Kenshin's left hand ran across his cross-shaped scar, and he breathed heavily,

"I know already, Kaoru, that I cannot be a good father. I apologize with my heart the pain I may have caused you. I -"

"Kenshin," Kaoru interjected. Not forcefully, but in a sturdy tone that halted Kenshin's words.

Her expression softened, and she smiled meekly as she pulled Kenshin towards her, "Kenshin...have you held him? Have you held our son?"

Kenshin was startled by Kaoru's reaction. And still surprised, he hesitantly allowed Kaoru to place the bundle in his arms.

"Hold him Kenshin...And I will hold you."

------------

Light. It flooded in the room and gently burned the back of his eyelids. It warmed his soul and he felt lighter than he had ever been in a long time. Slowly, he fluttered his eyes open, and found himself next to Kaoru.

Kenshin's mind was instantly awake as he groggily sat up. Megumi sat in the corner of the room, gently cradling the baby in her arms. She looked up at Kenshin's awakening and stood up. Marching over, she handed the baby over to him without a word and began to exit the room.

"Oro...?" The baby began to wail as he left Megumi's hands.

Megumi paused within inches of the sliding door, her voice stern as she said, "Alright Kenshin, it's time to snap out of it. What happened when or where or how or why...I don't really give a crap. Right now I think you've got to pull yourself together. Mostly for the sake of your son, and mostly for the sake of your wife. Mind you, not for yourself," she sighed tiredly as her tone softened, "Everyone's got something going on Kenshin...just make sure you remember that."

With that, Megumi snapped the fusuma shut, and Kenshin watched her disintegrating shadow. He shushed the baby patiently, and looked at his son for the first time.

Kaoru was right, his hair was as red as his, and his hands were sturdy. He was healthy, and Kenshin gazed at his eyes. Deep blue and a soft navy tint. Tender, and easily broken.

Without him noticing, Kaoru woke, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and smiling as she saw Kenshin.

Silence hung in the air as the birds twittered outside. Kaoru sighed, and murmured softly, "Listen Kenshin...I don't know what you want me to think. I don't understand either. But I can say that I do understand you a little more. And for what it's worth, I accept you for who you are, and I don't care if you've loved someone else or tainted your sword with blood. I do hope that Tomoe finds me worthy to be your wife, and that you can love me unconditionally, just as you do for Tomoe."

Kenshin gazed in awe at Kaoru, and nodded. No words were needed.

"But Kenshin," Kaoru added, smiling, "I hope you don't mind, but I've decided on a name for the baby. Kenji...after his father."

------------

Wolf sat under a tree not far from the dojo, sinking his mind with the shadows. Running his hand over the protruding roots, he remembered the day he had arrived at the dojo, and the New Year they had shared. So long ago, he thought wistfully, so long ago...

And now Wolf felt that he could not remain at the dojo. His presence was out of place, and he felt something tugging at him, urging for him to move elsewhere. Where though? He knew not.

Maybe with some of the dying hope left in him, he could find a member of his family. Or maybe with a sliver of faith, he would find his father, not dead, but alive and well, unaware of his existence. Maybe...too many maybe's...

Wolf's eyes shot up as he saw Kenshin standing right above him. He had not even heard him approach.

Kenshin seemed composed as his lips formed a faint smile as he sat down next to the blonde. They sat in silence for moments, contemplating thoughts before Kenshin spoke softly,

"What do you plan to do next Wolf?"

Wolf was slightly surprised that Kenshin had read him so easily, but had no other choice than to sigh and murmur in reply, "I's don't really know. But I's do know that I can't be here....I's need to find somewhere else to belong...'cause I dun belong here....I'm outta place."

"You're right."

Kenshin's words and bluntness astonished Wolf and he felt almost sad that Kenshin was probably eager for him to leave.

"I'm not thinking what you think I'm thinking Wolf," Kenshin laughed, "I'm saying that we can't give you what's the best for you. Oh sure, there's fun here, and friends, but that's not how it's supposed to be for you. It's not going to be all this sweet. No one's life can be all sweet. You need a challenge Wolf, and we can't provide that for you here, so I agree with you. No, I don't think you belong here."

Wolf sat in silence, "What do you think I's should do?"

"What do _you_ want to do?" Kenshin countered.

"...I's want to find family. And defend them. Always."

Kenshin was intrigued by Wolf's answer, and responded thoughtfully, "Family's hard to find. Everyone's always on the quest to find loved ones. But, defending isn't as hard to accomplish."

Kenshin thought hard, and suddenly an idea popped into his mind, and he dwelled on it before thoroughly deciding it would work,

"I think that you have to get out and about. Learn about the world around you, and maybe a bit of swordsmanship. I propose that you, with Yahiko, should travel around Japan, maybe even China, and learn and absorb as much as you can. Learn things you never though you'd learn. Yahiko is an excellent swordsman now, and can train you in the ways of the Kamiya Kasshein style. He has grown, and this way, he will gain just as much experience as you will. Maybe by the end of this journey, you two will become brothers."

A beetle skittered across Wolf's feet, and he stared at its blue, sheen shell, absorbing Kenshin's words.

Maybe. Maybe it would work.

------------

And so it was with tears and good-bye's that Yahiko and Wolf departed from the dojo's gates, bags slung about their shoulders and a Shinai hanging from each their waists.

Wolf and Yahiko slowly disappeared down the path, melting in with the trees and the wide expanse. Kenshin remembered his last words to Wolf, whispered delicately into his ear,

_"You never killed your brother, Wolf."_

He remembered Wolf's shocked expression, and his gentle, steady understanding becoming evident in his walk as he jogged to catch up with Yahiko.

It was a joyful occasion, really. A time that marked the end of Yahiko's boyhood, and the start of being a different person. But it was also mingled with sadness, mixed with the sadness of knowing that they wouldn't see either of them for months, maybe years. Sad knowing that the dojo would be filled with empty silence and shadows.

It was empty now, save for Kaoru, Kenshin, and Kenji. Megumi had retreated to her clinic, and although she promised she would make frequent visits, they all knew that she needed time alone. Sano's sudden disappearance had her in a state of shock, and it was hard to predict what she would do next.

As for Kenshin, he turned around to face his wife and his son, a flickering smile on his face,

"Kaoru. I have yet to do something else with my life. Although I am not sure of it yet, the time will come, and when it does, know that I will never be a good father or a good husband. For that I apologize. Say nothing, because we should savor this moment while it lasts. But I feel I have to warn you, Kaoru. The time will come."

Kaoru nodded understandingly, and wordlessly pulled Kenshin closer to her as she captured his lips in hers, holding Kenji between them.

Somewhere in the depths of the nearby forest, a girl watched. Her thick black hair fell into her amber eyes, and her bare feet stood within inches of a sturdy tree. Clothed in a black kimono, she stared at the couple. Her voice came in a thin whisper, her tone hollow as she spoke,

"It must be beautiful...to remember."

With that, her existence seemed to disintegrate as her being disappeared with the next sudden gust of wind, climbing higher and higher, and higher still.

------------

_Owari_


End file.
